Ah, the penis. They come in all shapes and sizes. They can cause hours of entertainment, as well as hours of frustration. Some are friendly and open-minded, others are more aggressive and outspoken. Some bend at the slightest touch, while others can balance a stack of books. Love 'em or hate 'em, the penis is a mighty tool, if used correctly.
The Frisky recently had an amusing article, highlighting the Top Ten Most Common Varieties of Human Penis. Everything from the Thumbkin' ('Small and opposable, it proves remarkably useful') to The Elephant Trunk (It hangs down to the ground, which makes picking things up an impressive feati) and we can't forget the always fun, The Frankfurter ('Not too big, not too small, the standard size fits perfectly in a variety of ovens').
Fortuntely, or unfortunetly, depending on which we're talking about, I've had the pleasure of encountering each of these varities of the penii, give or take.
Da' Dumbbell - The Greek was definitely a dumbbell. It's one of those that can basically carry you around the room without the slightest bend or hint of fatique. These types can usually go for all-nighters, as well.
I've had my fair share of Mr. Pencils. I can't complain about these, because while they are slim, their length makes up for it. It reaches places the average length willy does not. They're usually attachted to men with the same body type - long and lean.
The Jalapeño Pepper is an interesting one, though the encounter I had with an Jalapeño Pepper pecker wasn't all that spicy. It wasn't so much that it was on the small side, but the guy didn't really know what to do with it, which was a shame because he was very good looking. Not to mention, he was a bit older than me (6 years), and it being my first time with a older guy by more than two years, I was really hoping for some fireworks. The Jalapeño caused no such fireworks.
The Thumbkin' is one of those dicks you just hope to never run into again. Mr. Nice Guy was definitely a Thumbkin'. The Frisky describes it as "proves remarkably useful", which I have to disagree with. There was nothing, absolutely nothing useful about this. It resembles more a frightened turtle than a man's anatomy.
Ah, the
Soda Canner. Always a pleasant trip, albeit sometimes a bit painful. These wide bad boys are fat, thick and usually not too long, but they always please. This is the type of dick I imagine Bruce Willis having.
Read through the Frisky's article and share any stories, good or bad, you've had with these penis types. Also, fellas? Are you a Frankfurter or a Mr. Pencil?
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