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Personals Drama: In my bedroom one will find...

Posted by airheadgenius

What's up with that question anyway? Does it set the tone for the profile? A chance to throw out just how alternative and edgy you are?

Why do so many men say that they have 800 thread count sheets? Is that really important to chicks?



I mean, is that really going to be the clincher? Like - to your BFF - "honey, I wasn't going to return his email, but then I read his profile and he has - and you are not going to believe it - three billion thread count sheets!"

Anything above 400 thread count is meaningless anyway. Trust me on this - I don't have a BSc in Textile Technology for nothing. Almost nothing at this point in time, but not absolutely nothing.

I care that you've got sheets. I care if you've washed them in the last week or so. I care if another chick has been on them within the last 24 hours, but beyond that, you can relax. (Actually, I do kinda like Dwell sheets, but that's because I am a design whore)

I have 8 thread count sheets.
Yep, I'm sleeping on burlap. It's this season's big thing ya know - burlap is the new Egyptian.

 

 Today's is an anonymous knob. He looks like a shaved ape.

 


 

Here are some I made earlier:
Biggin it up
The facial hair pubic hair conundrum
The trouble with rich men
5 Things I am Thankful for
British Personal Ads
How do you like to be dumped?
Not much to do with dating
Duh!
Do you date aliens"
Man's Best Friend
+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Dec 02 2008, 11:09 PM

Comments

zeitgeisty said:

yuck... shaved ape.

December 3, 2008 4:09 PM

rinaldi said:

I think you should start a new personals ad where the only info provided is photos- at least three,and a geographical radius within which the person is willing to meet people. the whole profile thing is just window dressing anyway.  i bet you'd agree to a date with him without reading whatever ape-like shit he wrote as answers to profile questions. your burlap sack or mine, Jane?

December 3, 2008 9:15 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

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FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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