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Date Machine: 5 things I am thankful for, plus knobbage

Posted by airheadgenius

I may as well jump on to this particular band wagon.

 

I am thankful for:

1) My children. Of course. Because they are really really funny, exceptionally beautiful (fa reals) and they smell nice.

2) My family because they want the best for me even though we drive each other crazy. If I am going to laugh until I cry, it's usually with my mum and dad. Oh and I'll include my best friends in here too so as not to use up three numbers on sappiness.

3) A metabolism that can, almost, keep up with my greed. I eat more than a farm boy yet manage not to be as big as a barn.

4) A fairly constant stream of bright ideas that continue to keep me and the gorgeous boys afloat, the mortgage company happy and the wolf from the door.

5) Masturbation. With the dating pool in New York being full of self-obsessed men in danger of disappearing up their own arseholes, I am thankful that my orgasm remains very attainable.

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING beautiful date machine people! 

 

 I would be thankful if this man could swing by tomorrow and sort me out

 

Here are some I made earlier:
British Personal Ads
How do you like to be dumped?
Not much to do with dating
Duh!
Do you date aliens"
Man's Best Friend
How do you like your foreskin?
Why do men love breasts?
Who pays?
What if?
Have you ever been experienced?
Surprise! I'm Pregnant!
Dogs and Dating
Erectile Dysfunction
Daddy's Girl
I need a Frenchman
What I want
The Fart Edition
Fisting and small snatches
How bloggers date
Did he die?
Je t'adore
Zeitgeisty's Behaviour
+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Nov 26 2008, 06:36 PM
Filed under: , , , , , , ,

Comments

zeitgeisty said:

Wesley snipes?? Really??

Like Woody Allen said.. 'don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love.'

November 26, 2008 7:22 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

You people are going to make me shed a tear before all this thankfulness stuff is over!  We can't have me all weepy.  It's really unsightly.  

November 26, 2008 8:58 PM

shakti_vos said:

i'm w/Zeitgeisty on this one...Wesley Snipes?  ew

masturbation, however, i'm totally down for

November 27, 2008 10:43 AM

airheadgenius said:

zeit - I am a fan of the hard body and that's a hard body. The fact that he's past 45 and still in great shape makes him very appealing. Do you know how flabby the average 45 year old man is??? I have no interest in his personality

recycled - be thankful you're not a fat old fucker. Wait a minute.... man, sorry to spoil your day

shakti - see above

November 27, 2008 11:14 AM

zeitgeisty said:

Most everyone lets themselves go past a certain point, women AND men... My father was a character and would come home EVERY night from work and 'do his gym' for over an hour..  total old school stuff, push ups, sit ups, knee bends, etc... but he's still in great shape.. I guess I have a bit of that body obsession too, but I figure not that all that much, 'cause when I'm at the gym I see some people there that are off the wall with it... any way, my point is hard body or not.. wesley snipes is a horrible daily knob.

November 27, 2008 12:22 PM

zeitgeisty said:

oh and happy thanksgiving.

November 27, 2008 12:23 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

I'm a fucking slob.  I'm thankful that I don't care.  And thankful that I get play despite that.  All is right with the world!  Yaaaaay!

November 27, 2008 1:53 PM

anathema_teatime said:

Wow, I'm surprised Z doesn't find this picture of Snipes hot. After all, it kinda makes him look like his a big ol' manboobs, which I'da thought he was into.

But yeah, totally hot. It's not the age, it's not even (for me) the hardodiedness. It's a way sexy attitude.

November 28, 2008 2:24 AM

zeitgeisty said:

I've got big ol' manboobs?? Jeez... if manboobs had cupsizes I'd be in a trainer bra, and snipes would be double D...

Yet another first on Date Machine... I've been compared to.... wesley snipes.

November 28, 2008 12:07 PM

airheadgenius said:

anathema - very good point on the man boobs and he definitely has a sexy attitude. He looks like a throw you against the wall and do you kinda guy.

zeit - you are not being compared to Wesley Snipes, ya big plum. One of his thighs is as big as your entire being. He has man boobs and you like boobs. That's all.

November 28, 2008 12:10 PM

zeitgeisty said:

ah.. duh!.. I think all the turkey must've affected my reasoning.. I do appreciate his boobs.. perhaps he'd be a better THROB than a KNOB...

November 28, 2008 12:15 PM

berlin87 said:

Every time a woman says masturbation an angel gets it's wings.

November 28, 2008 9:08 PM

shakti_vos said:

nope, not into his body.  not into hard bodies like that.  i like 'em a little skinnier.  just disagreeing w/your knobbage, is all.

November 29, 2008 8:20 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

OUR BLOGGERS

FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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