You know, sometimes when my children are acting out, the best strategy to quash the behaviour is to ignore them.  Other times, when they are very irritating, it's hard to suppress the urge to be mean. Sometimes I have all this meanness just bubbling away inside me and it has to find an outlet. Forgive me - it's either you or my children...

 

Zeitgeisty missed out a category from his list of men:

Facetious, Unappealing, Cynical, Kafkaesque, Tedious, Argumentative, Risque, Depressing.

The Fucktard

This man is similar to a geek, but he has hipster aspirations. He is desperate to be cool, but fearful of being seen to be trying. He derides the hipster, yet adopts symbols of hipsterness such as exaggerated sideburns and corduroy trousers.

He is the lad in the playground that was called four eyes. The high school kid that was pissed on in the locker room. The misfit at college and the nerd in the workplace.

It's easy to write him off as a misogynist, but nothing could be further from the truth. He loves women. But women can't stand him.
More specifically, he loves his mother, but his mother can't stand him either.

This man has a lasting love for breasts because his cold mother failed to breastfeed and he has never managed to overcome this disappointment. Breasts, to him, symbolise the love he should have had and so his tastes run to the extreme. Breasts can never be too big for this man's needs, but neither can immersing himself in a giant bosom make up for the mother's love that was lacking. His disappointment in his mother's inability to nourish him often leads him to reject any provisions she might make for him and he is likely to, for example, criticize her cooking.

The fucktard is prone to be skinny by nature, in part due to his troubled history with food, however this type often works out sometimes to the point of obsession to try to strengthen his naturally weak frame. He may be muscular which can help to mitigate his fear of being bullied, but nothing can eradicate the memory of being picked on.

This man may have a heightened anal fixation, again due to his difficult experiences with a mother that failed to nuture him. He may very well have refused to wipe his own bottom up until an advanced age as the only means to attract her attention.

The fucktard cannot bear to be challenged by a woman, as he is intimidated by female intelligence. In an attempt to assert himself, he chooses women much younger than him in the hope that his greater experience will fool them into thinking he is cleverer than them. Alas, this is seldom the case. It is also interesting to note that his one true love may very well be a similar age to his mother when she gave birth to him.

This man displays loner behaviour and pretends to dislike engaging in social activities. In fact, he would like nothing better than to be included, but he is rarely asked.

In short, the fucktard craves acceptance, yet is rejected at every turn.
Don't hate this man, if you encounter him or one of his ilk, pity him for he is without love.
Lost in the wilderness.

Hug him. Heal him. Make him whole.

 Ooooo, that was cathartic. Nightie night beautiful people...

 

Hancock. (aka Will Smith after a lot of intense workouts) The arse on this man gives me palpitations. 

 

Here are some I made earlier:
Politics of Contraception
Turning into Zeitgeisty
Feeling my age
The real deal profile
In my bedroom one will find
Biggin it up
The facial hair pubic hair conundrum
The trouble with rich men
5 Things I am Thankful for
British Personal Ads
How do you like to be dumped?
Not much to do with dating
Duh!
Do you date aliens