It may be hard to believe, but there was once a time when the phrase "Duke Nukem" didn't conjure up hoary old jokes by would-be Internet comedians who were known to say, "More like Duke Nukem ForNEVER, am I right!?" Well over a decade ago, Duke Nukem was actually relevant, and Duke Nukem 3D was a creative, tongue-in-cheek alternative to id's Doom series, the aesthetic of which could only come from people who read Spawn unironically. I might have been a 14 year-old boy back when 3D came out in 1996, but I was savvy enough to recognize that Duke's over-the-top masculinity was an insincere, tongue-in-cheek take on action heroes, a la The Simpsons' McBain. The question here is, will today's 14 year-olds--who weren't even multi-celled organisms during the original release of Duke Nukem 3D--get the joke? And will anyone else care?
All of this Nukem news is relevant because tomorrow the game will be available on the XBox Live Marketplace for the pauperly sum of 800 Microsoft Points. That's a tiny price for what amounts to a lot of game, but I'm not here to tell you about the 360's faaabulous deals. In fact, I'm not even going to buy the game; my old CD still works fine, and programs like EDuke ensure that the original files I once played on my Pentium 133 will work long into the future. The important thing to think about here is how Duke Nukem 3D was once innovative and unique; this is very hard to imagine after the franchise was left to fester with increasingly awful console ports and reimaginings, but it's true.
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