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ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog

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Each month a new artist; each image a new angle. This month: Giovanni Cervantes.

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The Hooksexup Film Blog

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The Perfect Recession Game: Tetoris

Here’s a real find for anyone that’s found themselves without a job in this difficult time. It’s free, it’s long, it’s as addictive as Tetris, and the only system requirement is perfect 20/20 vision. It’s Tetoris, the Tetris variant where every line takes 20 minutes to break.

Now You're a Killer, Just Like Mama!

Sometimes PETA runs up to us with a snotty nose and starts pulling at our skirts with a grubby hand while whining unintelligibly and gesturing at something. And we have to stop what we're doing and patiently ask, "Yes, PETA, what is it?" because PETA is impossible to ignore when it gets in this kind of mood.

PETA's latest handiwork made gamers recoil and grip shakily at the kitchen counter to steady themselves--or it was supposed to, anyway. Most of us just laughed because you can't turn Cooking Mama into a knife-loving turkey murderer without making a complete ass of yourself. If you apply blood and mayhem to all things cuddly and cute, it's instant comedy. South Park knew it. Monty Python knew it. Your twisted little cousin who will soon be getting notes sent home by Teacher knows it.

I'm a bit confused about what exactly PETA is trying to say with their Flash murder simulator, but at the same time, their chutzpah is admirable. There's no attempt to disguise Mama. She's bloodthirsty, she's apparently furious about having to cook Thanksgiving dinner and she will fuck your shit up if you turn your back on her. What's Majesco supposed to do? They can go to court, but one company of the two is backed up by hojillions of dollars from batshit celebrities, and they're not the one.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.

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