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The Hooksexup Film Blog
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Each month a new artist; each image a new angle. This month: Giovanni Cervantes.
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A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
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Almost everything you want.
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A San Francisco photographer on the eternal search for the girls of summer.
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Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other's lives.
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61 Frames Per Second
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  • I Appreciate You, Game Boy

    It's the Game Boy's 20th anniversary, and I feel like I ought to honour the little white brick. Problem is, I have no idea what I can say that hasn't already been said. Writing all my good feelings towards the ancient Nintendo handheld that served as a springboard for the portable consoles I love today feels awkward, like writing a letter to a friend who's bailed you out of jail. Game Boy, I want to say “thanks” to you...but the thought of doing it makes me blush and squirm. There just aren't any suitable words for how much I care about you. I'll take you out for beers.

    The Game Boy vaulted me into “real” gaming; it was my first console after the Colecovision/Atari 2600 Frankenstein that introduced me to gaming, but didn't necessarily make me fall in love with the pastime. Sure, I had previously been mystified by Super Mario Bros, but I wouldn't own an NES until late in the system's life. It was games like Super Mario Land, Double Dragon and Final Fantasy Legend taught me that video games could have form and structure; they could be more than a score-counter. They could have goals, and tell stories.

    When I managed to separate my mother from Tetris, of course.

    Read More...


  • 8-Bit Love: The Ten Greatest Vintage Game Songs to Have Sex To, part 2

    Cyriaque Lamar is a New York-based writer with a New Jersey-bred weltanschauung. He’s had original work published at Cracked.com and performed at The New York International Fringe Festival. Cyriaque is thrilled to contribute to 61FPS, as it brings him one step closer to his childhood dream of living on the set of Nick Arcade.

    5.) Final Fight CD – “Walk In the Park (Bay Area)”



    System: Sega CD (1993)
    Sounds Like: A sweaty nooner with Don Johnson.
    I always loved the premise of Final Fight. The idea of a city’s mayor stripping down to his underjohns and beating the shit out of unemployed people in order to stimulate job growth was really ahead of its time. Wait? Mike Haggar was actually fighting to save his daughter from an evil street gang? And here I thought the game was some kind of radical Objectivist propaganda. This Bay Area theme is classic whatever console you play Final Fight on, but the Sega CD version pushes it to the limit with gale-force porno guitars. Seriously, these riffs are like an F4 on the Fujita Scale. In my mind’s eye, the person who would get the most out of this track wears a ton of sea foam green and frequents Fort Lauderdale whorehouses. Sometimes, you just gotta be that person. When it comes to the Sega CD, the only thing sleazier is Night Trap.

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  • 8-Bit Love: The Ten Greatest Vintage Game Songs to Have Sex To, part 1

    Cyriaque Lamar is a New York-based writer with a New Jersey-bred weltanschauung. He’s had original work published at Cracked.com and performed at The New York International Fringe Festival. Cyriaque is thrilled to contribute to 61FPS, as it brings him one step closer to his childhood dream of living on the set of Nick Arcade.

    There are three reasons this list exists. First, I felt obliged to highlight 61FPS’s distinction as the gaming apparatchik of an internet sex publication. Second, I wished to showcase the unsung virtuosos of yesteryear who made masterworks using a limited palette of sounds. Finally, I intend to rebut those critics who still dismiss video games as low culture. Using the below examples, I intend to reclaim the carnal legacy of video games by evincing how early console music illustrated the gamut of human sexuality, from atavistic, heteronormative modes of eroticism to polymorphous perversity as delineated by Freud.

    Plus, the thought of people sticking penises into vaginas to Nintendo music is funny.

    10.) Radical Dreamers – “The Girl Who Stole the Stars”



    System: Super Famicom Satellaview (1996)
    Sounds Like: Koyaanisqatsi composed on Mario Paint.
    Since roughly 95% of all human lovemaking involves someone with a XX chromosome pairing, I thought it necessary to seek out my female associates’ thoughts on which game music best applies to amore. The suggestions I received were few yet incisive — responses ranged from “the Kid Icarus theme” to “Who the eff effs to video games?” Ultimately though, I deferred to my own instincts and picked this pan-pipe jam from the Japan-exclusive, text-based sequel to Chrono Trigger. Composed by the legendary Yasunori Mitsuda, “The Girl Who Stole the Stars” is easily the most romantic theme on our list.

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  • The Perfect Recession Game: Tetoris

     

    Here’s a real find for anyone that’s found themselves without a job in this difficult time. It’s free, it’s long, it’s as addictive as Tetris, and the only system requirement is perfect 20/20 vision. It’s Tetoris, the Tetris variant where every line takes 20 minutes to break.

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  • Mega64 Calls On the Elite Beat Agents

    The world would be a better place if the Elite Beat Agents could fly at our everyday problems singing and dancing. Flat tire? Beautiful voices can re-inflate that. Broken vase? The Elite Beat Agents can coax those pieces back into place. Failing with your girlfriend in bed? Maybe not. She might run away with Agent Spin (I know I would).

    Game-related comedy troupe Mega64 has catapulted to nerd fame by videotaping themselves bouncing around in a kuribo, performing stealth operations in a grocery store as Solid Snake, and wandering around PetSmart as a lonely Tetris L-piece looking for a corner to lean on. This time, the group dressed up as the Elite Beat Agents and tried to bring joy to Californians by the ocean. Unfortunately, Californians seem immune to joy. Actually, given the demographic of San Francisco, they've probably just learn how to politely step around crazy people the same way suburban dwellers have learned to step around piles of dog poo.

    Video after the jump.

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  • This Functional Game Boy Costume Will Show Us the Way

    Video game cosplayers, take note. We've seen enough of that smelly Cloud costume that gets dragged out of the closet year after year, convention after convention. The cardboard sword is sagging, and a moth ate through the crotch of your pants. I don't know what continuity you're honouring by letting Cloud go commando, but either way, the fantasy is dead and the children are frightened. Give it up.

    Cosplay has long been the Internet's equivalent of that guy who sits above a dunk tank at a carnival. I have nothing against this particular perched gentleman, same as I have nothing against cosplayers. I just can't resist taking a shot.

    In fact, everyone jabs cosplayers now and then. There is an ancestral instinct that causes us to mock men in tights; it's how our forebears protected themselves from bards. But it's a petty person who won't recognise true costume-design talent when they see it. I've seen some fantastic costumes in my (regrettable?) years of anime con attendance, but there hasn't been anything quite like the functional Game Boy who waddled around Ohayocon 2009 and graciously put up with people playing Tetris on his chest.

    A video of the costume in action lies under the jump.

    Read More...


  • I Only Took Piano Lessons as a Kid.



    I love video game music. I already post the occasional remix here on 61FPS but I also love listening and watching enthusiasts play classic game tunes straight. I am a science buff and enjoy digging up all manner of interesting and often esoteric facts and scientific oddities. Finally, YouTube is a strange and wonderful place. Add these seemingly unrelated statements together and you get...

    Read More...


  • Whatcha Playing: Weight of the Stone



    Videogames are rich with memorable moments. Born of both play and story, there are those images, those brief passages of achievement, that are emblazoned in your memory: the first time you clear 100,000 points in Tetris, the dogs bursting through the window in Resident Evil, the booming march that begins to play after the baby metroid’s sacrifice during Super Metroid’s climactic battle with Mother Brain. We are tied to these events thanks not only to those games’ mechanical and artistic design but because of our agency in them. We facilitate these conclusions and, since the game is well-made, we feel them. Another classic: Solid Snake’s first fight with the cyborg ninja, Grey Fox. Like so much of the Metal Gear Solid series, this sequence is ludicrous: simplistic to play, overdramatic, over-everything. But when Grey Fox begins screaming, “Make me feel!” and your controller begins to shake in time with his uncontrollable gesticulations, the scene becomes something else. In 1998, rumble technology was still relatively new in home gaming, so having this drama reflected in the physical world made that much more of an impression. Every time Snake was kicked in the gut or when you landed a hit amidst this half-man’s yowling was tangible.

    I feel a lot like Grey Fox when I play videogames these days, particularly action fare. I want an action game to make me feel. Not necessarily a profound emotional reaction – though that’s always a plus – so much as a physical one.

    Read More...


  • The Future is Mystifying: E Ink

    One-hundred thousand copies of Esquire’s October issue, hitting newsstands across the good ol’ U.S. of A. as I write and you read, are freaking me out. The other ones aren’t, they’re just magazines. But the one-hundred grand I’m talking about look like the future. The covers of these issues are equipped (infused? I’m not sure what word to use here.) with an E Ink display. That is to say, the paper itself is an electronic display with a shifting image. It’s fairly innocuous looking in this video, but the casual implementation here, the cover of a consumer magazine, has far reaching implications that are both terrifying and exciting as hell. Terrifying because we’re one step closer to Back to the Future II’s vision of 2015 being real. Exciting as hell because E Ink could be a whole new world for videogames.

    Read More...


  • I Wish I Had Bought Tetrisphere.



    Tetris, who isn't familiar with Tetris? I owned the original Game Boy once upon a time so naturally I had the game that started the craze. But I have a secret to share. I wasn't really a fan. It was okay, but I seemed utterly immune to its spell. Really, I'm not much of a puzzle game fan. Oh sure, I like puzzles that are worked into other games, like platforming games or adventures and such, but pure puzzle games have never attracted me that much.

    But I really do wish I'd bought Tetrisphere.

    Read More...


  • It's My Tetris Party And I Can Waggle If I Want To

    Named by Entertainment Weekly as the number 1 "new classic" video game of the past twenty-five years (almost all of video game history), it was never a question of if Tetris would grace Nintendo's wildly popular WiiWare digital distribution service, but when. While we still don't have a precise date, Official Nintendo Magazine has confirmed that the Hudson Soft developed Tetris Party will be released this autumn with a slew of Wii-specific features.

    Read More...


  • It’s Dangerous to Go Alone

    Some scant meditations on the nature of travel, the common language of games, and life imitating art written on Friday, July 18th.

    I’m sitting in Penn Station and the pedestrian traveler traffic is unusually heavy for 2:30pm on a non-holiday weekend. There’s a strange thing that starts to happen to you if you’ve lived in this town for long enough, particularly if you spend the majority of your time in Manhattan. You start walking like Sonic the damn hedgehog, moving just a little too fast alongside other people moving just a little too fast, dodging left and right, always looking three steps ahead, finding the quickest path. Living in New York is like playing an RPG; you’re always holding down the run button.

    Read More...



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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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