My weekend sojourn with Bionic Commando Rearmed's Mr Rad Spencer reminded me of all things good, pure and 8-bit. I even remembered that my husband owns most of the Worlds of Power books, novel "adaptations" of popular Nintendo games from Back in the Day™. He transferred them over to our new basement apartment home after we were married; it's a dowry my parents are proud of, I'm sure.
Alas, I cannot find the Bionic Commando adaptation, but if I were to guess, I'd say Rad Spencer wasn't allowed to shoot anyone with his awesome guns. I did find Ninja Gaiden, which is dedicated to "the Ninja in everyone's dad." Holy shit, I thought my dad just sold alarm systems. This is awesome news.
I don't know if you kids today have book fairs, but they were a staple of my school days. My generation was not in love with the printed word and teachers did their best to make sure we didn't fall into any affairs. They policed our book fair purchases, declaring comic books to be verboten "trash," especially comic books about the Ninja Turtles or that rude Bart Simpson. The cutting-edge Nintendo Entertainment System was the worst enemy of my grade school marms, so F.X. Nine's Worlds of Power was book fair contraband, too.
I think any teacher who discourages a kid from reading material aimed at him is missing the point of their job, but I have to admit that Worlds of Power is junk food for the mind. The characterisation is bad, the writing is overly-simple and the transparent attempts to avoid references to violence are laughable and even insulting. Everyone knows that Ryu's father dies at the start of Ninja Gaiden; it was console gaming's first vault into storytelling beyond Mario staggering across eight kingdoms in a heart-breaking search for his princess. The Worlds of Power books, desperate to win the approval of adult authorities (not bloody likely), minimised human deaths in its pages and in fact brought Ryu's father back to life.
No. Bad. Jesus brings forth the dead, not F.X. Nine.
I'm going to search very hard for our Bionic Commando book. If I fail, I'm sure I can find some substitutes and we'll all go on a G-rated literary journey. In the meantime, enjoy 8-Bit Lit, an excellent 1UP feature that will learn you some game novel history and is dedicated to the bionic soldier in everyone's mom.
Related Links:
Watcha Playing: Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword
Gone Vertical: Hands-On Bionic Commando
There Is Nothing Funny About Bionic Commando Funny Books