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  • What's in my MP3 Player: LetThereBeLight, a Mega Man 4 OC Remix

    Line up to revoke any good feelings you have about me, because I think that Mega Man 4's soundtrack is better than Mega Man 2's.

    ”Oh my God Nadia how can you embarrass yourself like this?”

    Though I thoroughly believe Mega Man 2 deserves its pedestal in the hearts of the people, I actually don't have the same nostalgic attachment to the title as other Mega Man fans. My first game was Mega Man 3, which I followed up with Mega Man 4. Mega Man 4's gameplay isn't exceptionally good, but the graphics and soundtrack are among the NES' best.

    ”So you say, but you still sound like you were dropped on your head as a baby and dragged away by a dog, poor wee child.”

    Maybe so, but if you give the soundtrack a good listen, you can hear an attempt to go somewhere different. Dustman's stage is far beyond Mega Man's usual rock n roll du jour; it's a subdued tune, quite melancholy, that brings you back to those rainy days you spent indoors with your NES.

    It also gave rise to the greatest OC Remix of all time.

    Read More...


  • The Angry Video Game Nerd's House of Nintendo Horrors

    There's been a noticeable lull in publicised Angry Video Game Nerd rants. Apparently, Rolfe is waiting for his contract renewal with ScrewAttack, and he's forbidden to yell until the people who sign his paycheques say it's okay. Man, I've been there.

    To tide over the masses, the Nerd has published a short YouTube video showing off his NES game collection. How many Nintendo games do you think he owns? Times 'a lot' by a skillion and you'll get an idea.

    Actually, I got more out of this video than I thought I would. The Nerd shows us his legitimate games, but in spite of Nintendo's best efforts, the NES had a lot of titles that weren't anywhere close to legitimate. Tengen's “illegal” version of Tetris was only the Purgatory of a twisted plastic hell. Deeper in the forbidden depths, you will see atrocities like cartridges bandaged together with sticky “Sale!” stickers, and cartridges with connectors poking out of their misbegotten heads.

    Come one, come all. Two bits a gander.

    Read More...


  • Pick Up Chicks In the Zelda Mobile

    You deserve a sexy car. That's why you need to own the Legend of Zelda Car. It's a 1978 Ford Fairmount adorned with the full map from the first Legend of Zelda game and other Zelda-related eye candy.

    Pictures of the Zelda Car have vroom-vroomed their way into Nintendo Power, Digg, and several game sites. Face it: this is the car you want to lose your virginity in, you studly 29-year-old. Well, good news. It's up for sale.

    The owner of the Zelda Car has taken out an ad on craigslist; he (she?) simply doesn't need the vehicle anymore, though it's been as faithful to him as Epona. It's in good condition, has a mere 110,000 miles on it (surely Link has walked/ridden more), and has fairly new shocks and tires.

    It's yours for $500.00 USD.

    Read More...


  • The Making of Wrestle Jam from The Wrestler

    The Wrestler walked away with my heart this year, even if it didn't walk away with any Oscars. I'm still shaking my fist in the direction of last Sunday. The spoor's going cold though, so I'm better off reading up about the small details that made the movie so heart-rending.

    In one scene, Randy “The Ram” Robinson is silently coming to grips with the fact his body has become too broken-down for wrestling. He calls in a neighbour kid to play Nintendo with him—the 8-bit variety of Nintendo—and his game of choice is Wrestle Jam, a custom title with the soul of Pro Wrestling for the NES. As Randy and the neighbour kid click away as The Ram and The Ayatollah respectively, the boy, fed-up with the archaic game (and indeed, Randy himself) talks about Call of Duty 4. The discussion emphasises the old alongside the new, and in a few minutes, the game-based metaphor delivers a punch to the gut that's amplified by Mickey Rourke's perpetual hangdog face and scattered life.

    The game scene goes by quickly, but it happens that Wrestle Jam is a fully-functioning game with pixelated graphics, 8-bit music, and (according to the brother and sister team behind its creation) “stupid enemy AI.”

    Read More...


  • We Have Fury: Pieces of Gaming History End Up In Recycle Bins

    Today I bring you a sadder, somewhat stranger tale of game waste. This one comes from an employee of Best Buy, “DrSpengler,” who haunts a popular Transformers fan board called The Allspark.

    Best Buy has a recycling program in place for electronic items. The chain will take your fizzled, your sizzled, your broken televisions yearning to be scrapped. It's a good way to paint your conscience green, since disposing of electronics in the traditional way is a Captain Planet no-no.

    So Best Buy has the “Recycle” thing down pat, but it brickwalls at “Reuse.” Employees are absolutely forbidden to take away or purchase items that are brought in for recycling—and there are some vintage pieces of game history that are being crushed into little cubes, here.

    Read More...


  • Dragon Quest IV: Re-Reading the Chapters of the Chosen

    Keeping true to my reputation as the Fastest Gamer in the West, I'm still playing through Dragon Quest IV. I played the NES original, though I never finished it. I was put off by the fact a Dragon Warrior game had a story, and I just never got into it. I was a very dull child, as you can imagine.

    Dragon Quest IV's branching story isn't anything that would throw Stephen King into a jealous rage, but it's fun and ambitious, and I appreciate it very much. Jumping from the flat-rate story in Dragon Warrior III (“Save the world because your father fucked the mission up”) to a headstrong cast of warriors with their own thoughts and feelings just kind of knocked me for a loop back then. The Loto Saga was effectively over with Dragon Warrior III, and I had decided to be a pouting child about Square-Enix's decision to move on.

    Read More...


  • The Duck Tales Moon Theme--With Lyrics

    Duck Tales for the NES presented a rare moment in my gaming history: it marked an instance in which my friends and I were all on the same page about a video game. I was the hardcore gamer (loser) of the bunch, meaning I often had my heart broken when we'd have a sleepover party and a Mega Man game rental would lose out to licensed slurry like Bart vs The World.

    But Duck Tales...ah, Duck Tales was a familiar property, and it was one of the best platformers on the NES. My friends didn't have to cringe away in confusion from some anime mascot and I didn't have to watch them argue slowly about how to make Bart Simpson advance past the snow cave level.

    Duck Tales' accessibility gave us another rare occurrence. An entire generation became familiar with one particular piece of game music: the Moon level. Even kids who didn't clock in all that many hours on the Nintendo slowly smile when they hear the tune and recognition dawns.

    “Brentalfloss,” a gentleman who adds lyrics to classic Nintendo music, has given the same treatment to Scrooge McDuck's journey to the Moon. The lyrics mostly deal with McDuck's slow, sad spiral into a world of delusions fueled by his lust for gold. That's a grim picture: a millionaire mallard lying dead on a barren, cold wasteland at the end of a disastrous search for riches. But in his death-dreams, he's still jumping up and down on top of giant moon rats.

    Read More...


  • Castlevania III: Dracula's Reign Ends, Sypha's Baby Factory Opens

    When I was a kid, I ate crayons while I was supposed to be tested for giftedness, I lost interest in achieving the honour roll when I found out it wasn't covered with sticky frosting, and I could never understand why grown-ups got so uppity if I was wearing my shirt backwards (still can't). But I finished Castlevania III all by myself, without cheating, and I'm still damn proud of that. It remains one of about two games both my husband and I played as kids, but only I've completed.

    I've only finished the game with Grant as my aide, mind you. Even my childlike stupidity and gullibility had its limits. “Ha ha,” I said as I watched the credits scroll, “I am never doing this again!”

    Ah, but it looks like I will with the help of the Virtual Console. Once I get my platforming legs back, I'd like to try and finish the game with Sypha. I've seen her ending already thanks to the modern magic of YouTube, but it still fascinates me. The second Dracula dies, the schmatte covering Sypha's head falls off on cue and Trevor's like, “Holy shit, Imma touch this bitch.” And he does.

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  • Some Games Nadia Played in 2008 Instead of Working: Mega Man 9

     

    When I have to call up numbers for any reason, I rely on “funny” math. 1+1 = cow and whatnot. I don’t like math and math doesn’t like me. There’s a reason why I’m scrabbling as a writer and not pursuing my dream career as an epidemiologist (no, I’m serious).

    This is my roundabout say of saying I miscounted the days and my “Ten Games Nadia Played, etc,” list isn’t going to hit double digits. It will be forever young and I’m comfortable with that.

    One reason I might be so bad with numbers is because I spent a significant amount of my childhood playing Mega Man games instead of doing something useful. When you’re a Mega Man fan, what use is there for numbers above eight? Of course, when it comes time to count the sheer number of sequels and offshoots Mega Man has appeared in, you’re kind of boned. I thought I’d just do like the rabbits from Watership Down and refer to large numbers as “Hrar”--but then rumours of Mega Man 9 showed up and around and I knew the title deserved my attempt to count above eight.

    The first substantial details about Mega Man 9 came through the June 2008 edition of Nintendo Power. It was pretty heartening to read jaw-dropping revelations about a highly anticipated title through a print magazine; that sort of thing just doesn’t happen so much anymore.

    Read More...


  • Unwrapped: Dragon Quest IV

     

    Ahhh, Christmas. This is a nice time of year for a freelance writer. I’m going to ingest fermented liquids that take the edge off my passion for writing, and editors don’t feel like wading through my crazy letter soup to ball together the few sensible words that congealed in the broth. So I’m told “That’s enough, get outta here. Merry Christmas.” And I start blubbering about my little son Tim dying slowly of acidosis and rickets. Then I settle down and finally, finally get caught up on the games I was too busy writing about to actually sit and play.

    First task: Finish Chrono Trigger DS and set aside the five thousand hours that’s required to sweep through the “bonus” dungeons. I’ve not experienced them fully, but I’ve been made to understand that the quotation marks are richly deserved. I can’t wait to find out why. I hear it has something to do with a fetch quest! Boy oh boy!

    Second: break out and play Dragon Quest IV. Hell yes, Akira Toriyama double-feature. I’m an unapologetic fan girl and will remain thus until I drop my love for human-devouring dinosaurs bristling with spikes and unscientific add-ons.

    STATUS, 22/12/2008: I still think dinosaurs are rad. Associated love for Akira Toriyama: Stable.

    The original Dragon Quest III/Dragon Warrior III for the NES left an indelible impression on me; ask me sometime about the story I wrote that featured an original plot but lifted monsters straight from the game. On second thought, don’t.

    Read More...


  • Know Your Mega Man Boss Weaknesses. It Will Save Your Life.

    Quick. Name Snake Man's weakness in Mega Man III.

    Your two seconds are up. Do you know it? That's what I thought.

    According to the word on the wind, I'll be getting a BB Gun for Christmas. I plan to arm myself and quiz citizens of the world on their Mega Man trivia. You would do well to study up, and to stock up on Red Bull (I'm thinking about being lenient on ignorant gamers who provide a suitable offering to slake my wrath. They might not be wholly spared, but a shot to the bum is preferable to a shot through the eye).

    It just so happens Cybermoon Studios has visual references for Mega Man boss weaknesses. The games covered include Mega Man, Mega Man 2, Mega Man 3 and Mega Man 9.

    Read More...


  • Let Dotter Dotter Take You to the Third Dimension

    In yet another addition to the "I wish I could read Japanese so I could find out more about things that are completely awesome" file (admittedly, the file has a big name and I'm currently looking for a way to shorten it), comes a little Japanese blog by the name of Dotter Dotter--at least, that's what I think it's called.  Listen, those are basically the only english words on the page, so I'm going to assume I'm right.  Anyway, names aren't important here; what is important is the fact that this dude (or lady-type person) has created some really great images based on old-school Nintendo sprite art.  Like the following:



    As you can see, language is irrelevant when it comes to something this awesome.  But having some basic understanding of Japanese would at least let me know if there are some wallpaper-sized versions of these images available on Dotter Dotter.  Without a doubt, that would be much more awesomer.

    Read More...


  • 10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Bionic Commando Rearmed

     

    Having grown up with two brothers and personally scoring somewhere in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart, you would think that Bionic Commando would have found its way into my Nintendo library somehow. Alas, no. Though I was always aware of Rad Spencer and his important contribution to history (making Hitler's head and secret headquarters EXPLOD), I didn't adopt any fondness for Bionic Commando until I watched my husband do a playthrough. My eyes followed that swaying red-headed soldier like a pendulum. Where do I sign up for the Bionic Harem?

    (And what did I just say about scoring in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart?)

    I tried to take control of Rad. When my attempts to make him swing out of the television screen and into my lap failed, I decided I'd at least try to get him through his no-jump adventure. I couldn't get through Area 01. It was an embarassing disaster and Hitler won. I figured Bionic Commando was simply something you had to be born into if you wanted to stand any chance of finishing it.

    Time went by, stealing a drop of my life with every tick, and there dawned an age (Now) wherein game developers learned the value of nostalgia. Remakes and revamps of old classics, they reasoned, would send twenty- and- thirty-somethings running to Playstation Network and Xbox Marketplace like sows to the trough. Indeed, we sucked it all down, but there's no shame in indulging in a high-quality remake like Bionic Commando Rearmed.

    Read More...


  • Mega Man Dies and Goes To Robot Hell For His Sins

    Wise people are known to furrow their brows, stroke their beards and wonder why Doctor Wily just doesn't throw his entire stable of robot jerks at Mega Man. There are two answers to that question. First, there is certainly something psychological with Wily's slow trickle of Robot Masters; the even distribution gives Mega Man a challenge, but doesn't overpower him. This, in turn, leads to some rambling theory about every human's need to chase a Questing Beast.

    The second answer is probably the right one: if Mega Man had to fight every Robot Master at once, his games wouldn't be much fun, stupid.

    Gee, the guy who put together this video makes it look so easy. In fact, there's something primal and just a little sexual about this nine-man confrontation.



    Read More...


  • The Videogame Ages, part 2

    In part one of The Videogame Ages, I discussed the inadequacy of “generation” language in gaming, and laid out The Golden Age of gaming. In part two, I look at the Silver and Bronze ages before taking a look at the modern era and the future.

    The Silver Age – 1983 to 1996 8-Bit, 16-Bit, Early Handheld, Early 3D, Advanced PC and Arcade

    The silver age of games is defined by expansion, in not just playability but breadth of experience. When home computers became affordable and home consoles began diversifying, games started transforming from immediate, single-mechanic experiences into more lasting forms. Silver age games were still about escalating challenge, but high scores ceased being the goal, replaced by definitive endings. Games started becoming more explicitly narrative-driven, as aesthetic justification on consoles and as the focus of many PC games (see the entire adventure game genre.) Portable gaming also started to rise to prominence during this period, early single-screen LCD games replaced by multi-game consoles like the Game Boy and Atari Lynx. Arcade and PC game technology pulled far away from home consoles, but all games were shifted from the rough visual abstraction of golden age games, into more aesthetically recognizable presentations – albeit still cartoonish impressionistic rather than realistic. The rise of polygonal 3D graphics, both real-time full 3D (Yu Suzuki’s Virtua series) and pre-rendered (Myst, etc.), at the end of the silver age marks the transition to bronze. In 1996, with the release of Mario 64, Tomb Raider, and Quake, the silver age comes to a close.

    Read More...


  • The Videogame Ages, part 1



    This past Friday, I tried to slip a little piece of language into a discussion about game emulation that I was wary about using at all. At this point, the go-to boundaries for discussing videogames’ admittedly small history is console-technology generations. We say 8-Bit or 16-Bit because these are easy identifiers based on competing, contemporary technologies. But the language “The 8-Bit Generation” doesn’t account for arcade technology, PC games, or portable gaming. Now that Bob Dvorak’s Tennis for Two is officially fifty years-old, I think we can finally start applying broader terms to gaming’s evolutionary eras. Obviously history is fluid, and chances are these classifications won’t hold true in 2050, but for now they work. The Hesiodic ages, as laid out here, consider games on every platform; the rigid parameters of home consoles, the advanced nature of PC and Mac gaming throughout the 1980s and ‘90s, the fast strides made by arcade technology throughout that same period, and the predominantly inferior technology available in handheld gaming. Unlike Hesiod’s Ages of Man, however, the videogame ages are (mostly) a positive progression. Please note: these are not strict definitions. This is a discussion, and I want everyone to make their opinions heard in the comments section. Now then, onward to the Golden Age.

    Read More...


  • Yahtzee Presents A New Angle On Nostalgia (Sort Of)

    While Mr Constantine gets over his case of the vapours, I'd like to offer my own perspective on Yahtzee's scorn towards Mrs Rad Spencer. One bit in particular caught my interest.

    (::Pipe puff::)

    Most of North America had the honour of growing up alongside the Nintendo Entertainment System. A great deal of Europe, if my video game lore is up to snuff, did not. I remember my older brother coming home from a visit to Ireland and telling me about how everyone there still played Atari 2600. I was all like, "No waaaaay!" Then the UK's ultra-sweet take on Smarties rebelled against my stomach and I vomited everywhere.

    In his latest rant against Bionic Commando and all things fun, Yahtzee briefly mentions that his household was a Commodore 64 household--in other words, he didn't grow up with Bionic Commando or a lot of our favourite 8-bit treasures.

    Read More...


  • What I'm Playing This Weekend: No Freakin' Clue, Boyo

    My husband and I downloaded a whack of Virtual Console games a couple of weeks ago, and it looks like we're through our backlog already. Last week I mentioned that we were going through Super Mario Bros 3 and of course, that's long since been done with. We travelled from the breezy plains of Grass Land to the twisted ruined mushroom villages in Dark Land. Also, I used a Hammer Bros music box at the end of Pipe Land and the lullaby music carried over to Dark Land. Tee hee.

    For someone who writes about games for a cursed living, I rarely get a chance to settle down and play what I want, except on weekends. Oh, cold irony. Looks like I'll have to opt out of gaming this weekend though because apparently some sort of last-minute miniature family reunion is going on involving cousins from Belfast. There will be drinking. Drinking is good, but it's best performed in conjunction with gaming. I guess I won't have that option unless I haul along Guitar Hero or something, but I'm a terribly lazy girl.

    However, Mega Man 9 is almost on us, so I guess this is as good an opportunity as any to practise my finger-bending exercises. I feel like a parent who's sending her kid out onto the stage. Please don't fall on your face, darling. You'll embarrass me and I'll have to move to the Yukon and pose as a sled dog. Bark bark!

    Read More...


  • Robot Chicken Torments the Excite Bike Guy

    I've always been of two minds about Robot Chicken. It's basically a lot of claymation jokes about our favourite childhood toys and mascots farting and pooping and I am so above that. (*frt*) But sometimes the show comes out with something that makes me laugh in spite of myself. It happened again today, in the middle of a library. :(

    Robot Chicken: Excitebike follows the innocent little biker from Excite Bike on the NES. He's just tooling around, driving home from a long day at work to see the wife and kids--

    Wait, does the Excite Bike dude have a name or a background? What do we know about his life? His motivation? His credit history? Even F-Zero's tight-muscled pilot, Captain Falcon, has gained a certain amount of infamy. We now know he loves to brawl, he writes slash fanfiction about himself and Samurai Goroh and he fathered an illegitimate son somehow.

    And despite all that, I think I'd rather date the Excite Bike guy. A bit of mystery is sexy. Looks like he'll have to take care of his shattered legs, first.

    Also, I'm a new admirer of the adjective "anus-shattering."

    Read More...


  • I Will Push Over Your Grandmothers For a Mega Man 9 Press Kit

    We're all friends here at 61 FPS and I believe in being straightforward with my friends. Therefore, I don't think I need to keep it a secret that I am willing to do some pretty reddish work at night to get my paws on this sexy, sexy Mega Man 9 press kit.

    I have a fish-scaling knife. I have Jethro Tull on my iPod. It's Go time.

    Threats of violence aside, I have to admire the firm grasp Capcom has on fan nostalgia. Sure, the company is teasing us like a kid holding a steak just out of the reach of a chained dog, but there aren't too many other companies out there that are willing to make fun of their past atrocities. Cover-ups seem preferred. Look at Konami's wretched attempt to erase "WHAT IS A MAN" away from the Internet lexicon with the re-translation of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on the PSP.

    Read More...


  • Rockman Lucky Star

    Ewww, who stunk up the blog with religion and serious crap?...Oh, it was me. Sorry guys. Friday is not for thinking. Friday is for sillies, especially Fridays that herald the looong weekend. I'm gonna drink a beer and get so drunk.

    And by "a beer" I mean fifty.

    I don't think I'd want to live in a world without silly anime dances. I don't know how many of you are fans of Lucky Star (I personally haven't seen it yet), but the adorable Mega Man parody of the opening can be appreciated no matter your alignment. There's some impressive sprite work to be had. Bonus footage of Gravity Man flipping Roll and Kalinka upside-down.

    It's not quite what you think. Sorry. Lord, the whole thing is very innocent.

    I wish you the best long weekend ever.

    Read More...


  • Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All.

    Growing up, we all kind of hated the rich kid. Even if he was the sweetest child in the world who only wanted to share his toys and candy and have us come over and play in his hedge maze (remember that episode of Care Bears? If not, silly me, I just made up another euphemism for sex), we'd lapse into an uncomfortable, cringing silence around him, like dogs in the presence of an alpha. When he wasn't around, we'd seethe and hiss in his direction.

    There are gamers in this world who are similarly intimidated by the existence of our hairy king, Mario. He benevolently brought many of us into this glorious, mind-gelling hobby. He has walked, run and jumped with us since we were children. Thanks to Mushroom Kingdom logic, we have baffled our teachers with adamant declarations about raccoons flying and fireballs bouncing underwater. Just last year, we soared through space with our magic plumber and visited more fantastic planes than the Little Prince.

    Mario is grand. And that's why the latest Internet fad, in which bloggers call for his retirement, is impotent and sad.

    I'm still unsure who first decided to make the ill declaration; likely someone desperate to crown himself King Controversy. This time, freelancer Patrick Goss takes the throne and gives us his reasons why Mario should give it all up and open a spaghetti farm.

    The article is admittedly well-written and free from the venom that usually shoots from the mouths of message board trolls who feel qualified to look down on Shigeru Miyamoto. Still, I feel obligated to counter.

    Read More...


  • The Angry Video Game Nerd Says a Bad Word: Deadly Towers

    Sons and Daughters of the 8-bit Gods, it is time. The Angry Video Game Nerd has summoned the power of his inner heart and our contributed swears to bark back at the evil that eclipsed our Nintendos so long ago: Deadly Towers.

    Note that the audio on this movie is Not Safe For Work in any regard. Things get pretty raunchy at record speed.

    Personally, I think I would have preferred a complete review instead of a bunch of strung-together swears, however foul (wait, I am talking about the Angry Video Game Nerd, right?). Deadly Towers is a game that doesn't come by often. It's as rare as Dracula's centennial resurrection and fifty times more frightening. Most "bad" games are merely mediocre, or they fail for very obvious reasons like making the controller come to life and bite you on the thumb. You say to yourself, "This game is an unfair piece of crap" and you throw it out the window in good conscience.

    But when you play Deadly Towers, your brain goes numb. You know you're playing a terrible game, but you're helpless to turn away. It's like those nightmare stories about paralysed patients waking up on the operating table and lying frozen while the scalpel cuts into them.

    Read More...


  • Worlds of Power: Books That Worried Your Parents and Pissed Off Your Teachers

    My weekend sojourn with Bionic Commando Rearmed's Mr Rad Spencer reminded me of all things good, pure and 8-bit. I even remembered that my husband owns most of the Worlds of Power books, novel "adaptations" of popular Nintendo games from Back in the Day™. He transferred them over to our new basement apartment home after we were married; it's a dowry my parents are proud of, I'm sure.

    Alas, I cannot find the Bionic Commando adaptation, but if I were to guess, I'd say Rad Spencer wasn't allowed to shoot anyone with his awesome guns. I did find Ninja Gaiden, which is dedicated to "the Ninja in everyone's dad." Holy shit, I thought my dad just sold alarm systems. This is awesome news.

    I don't know if you kids today have book fairs, but they were a staple of my school days. My generation was not in love with the printed word and teachers did their best to make sure we didn't fall into any affairs. They policed our book fair purchases, declaring comic books to be verboten "trash," especially comic books about the Ninja Turtles or that rude Bart Simpson. The cutting-edge Nintendo Entertainment System was the worst enemy of my grade school marms, so F.X. Nine's Worlds of Power was bookfair contraband, too.

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  • What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection

    I am a rotten Mega Man fan. I only acquired the Mega Man Anniversary Collection last week. But wait! Put down the cat o' nine tails!I have an excuse!

    Um...

    See, when the Gamecube and Playstation 2 crouched at the starting line for Big Shiny Console Love Race!! 2000, we bet on the Gamecube. Nintendo's purple lunchbox proved to be the wrong choice for anyone who wanted to pick up Mega Man Anniversary Collection, because the developers at Atomic Planet decided to reverse Mega Man's jump and shoot buttons--"A" being shoot and "B" being jump. Anyone weaned on the Blue Bomber might understandably be traumatised at this nonsensical reversal, especially since Atomic Planet thoughtfully excluded the ability to change controller settings.

    So here we are now, a little less poor than in previous years (holy cow, not by much) and able to afford a Playstation 2. A friend gave us the superior PS2 adaptation of Mega Man Anniversary Collection and now my husband and I are taking turns appreciating the classics instead of engaging in social interaction with our human peers.

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  • Yahtzee On E3: Are We Gaming in an Age of Uncreativity?

    Like clockwork, the latest Zero Punctuation showed up on Wednesday afternoon. I think the gaming world shall go mad if Yahtzee misses a week. How are we ever to know that it's Wednesday?

    Australia's grumpiest gamer weighed in on this year's E3 with a pretty hilarious ejaculation(!) of mild outrage: seeing as E3 2008 was as exciting as discount hamburger, Yahtzee had the right to punch the event in the solar plexus. He did bring up one point I've been thinking about: with the surge of sequels we've been seeing for established franchises, it almost seems as if no one's had an original game idea for a long time. Yahtzee makes mention of crazy old NES games that starred French chefs "riding on stickbugs and armed with guns that shot velociraptors."

    It's a common complaint and it seems as if we're hearing it more than ever these days. It's not like there's reason to dismiss it as hyperbole, either. When the most unusual title at a big name trade show is a Mega Man title, it's time to descend into Hell and thaw out poor Satan.

    I haven't decided if I'm totally in agreement with Yahtzee. I remember the NES very well, especially my family's weekend trips to rent games. My two brothers and I took turns with the weekly rentals. Pity the fool who picked up a second-rate platformer game because s/he wasn't renting anything else for three weeks. I quickly learned how not to become a victim. It was a painful journey full of disappointment, floaty controls and terrible tinny music because boy howdy, there was a lot of crap on the shelves of those Mom n Pop video stores.

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  • New Mega Man 9 Trailer: I'm Drowning in My Childhood

     

    Don't throw me a lifejacket, though. I'm quite happy here.

    On its way to gearing up for E3, IGN posted a fresh new Mega Man 9 trailer. For starters, the trailer finally confirms that Mega Man 9 is in fact destined for PSN and XBLA as well as WiiWare. Game news outlets and even series creator Keiji Inafune have been back and forth about this. In a recent interview with GamesRadar, Inafune said "We haven’t announced a XBLA or PSN title yet. Do the fans want them?"

    I guess he was playing around, that sly dog. I revere him.

    The trailer includes a good deal of gameplay footage. Lots of pits, spikes, and those disappearing-reappearing blocks that used to haunt your childhood nightmares. I know a certain robot dog who will be fitted with his jet upgrade as soon as possible.

    What's really thrilling to see make a return are the big colourful animal robots that would block your progress in Mega Man 2 and beyond. A circus elephant with a big red ball will be joining the mechanimal stable, which includes notables like Hot Dog from Mega Man 2, those damnable orange cats from Mega Man 3 and of course, Dragon. You know what game Dragon is from, right? He made you crap your Alf underwear when he first appeared. Don't deny it.

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  • Spelunking Through Cave Story

    Something in the air--I'm going to blame all that dang fireflower pollen blowing around out there--has me in a retro mood. For all the 3D delights I could be indulging in (my brother loaned me Guitar Hero III), I've recently made a happy return to Pixel's Cave Story.

    If you haven't played Cave Story, drop what you're doing and download it. No, I don't care if you're performing CPR on your half-dead mother, you simply must experience one of the most endearing and well-balanced 2D platformers ever developed. It's easy to find and it's free. You have no excuse. No, I don't care if trafalmadorians are lifting you into their saucer right this minute.

    Granted, I avoided Cave Story for years because the name sounded like some slow and winding "adventure" through a key-driven maze. "Cave Story" brings to mind cheap NES bargain-bin knockoffs that your well-meaning aunt would buy you at Christmas. Wow, thanks Auntie Shiela. I can't wait to throw this at the dog next time he gets into the garbage--I mean, I can't wait to play this.

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  • Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.

    If you grew up playing the Nintendo Entertainment System, then you also grew up with a persistent blue scamp named Mega Man. The adventures of the little boy robot and his red dog take us back to long hours spent in chilled suburban basements, stuffing our gobs with pizza while eluding Dr Wily's robots.

    The Mega Man series has given birth to no less than six spin-off series over the past twenty years, taking us far away from those days of greasy control pads and cherry Kool-Aid. The last entry in the original series (as in, numerical sequels without any extra letters attatched to "Mega Man") was Mega Man 8, released over a decade ago. It was no surprise when recent whispers about Mega Man 9 were dismissed as rumour.

    But lo, the August issue of Nintendo Power talks to series creator Keiji Inafune about the phantom game, which is a phantom no more. The original Mega Man is back. Literally. Mega Man 9 will feature NES-style graphics and will be available for download on Xbox Live, Playstation Network and as a Wii Ware title.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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