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The Best Chrono Trigger Ending

Posted by Bob Mackey

In case you didn't know, the new DS port of Chrono Trigger has a brand spankin' new ending; but, as is the case with most of the game's endings, it isn't too much to get excited about. This new ending does kinda tie up the whole Magus-Schala thread, but after Chrono Cross, we learned that this plot wasn't necessarily worth tying up--at least, not in the terms of Cross' convoluted story.  Once I tried reading an FAQ to figure out just what the hell happened, and the entire left side of my body shut down for a few days.

It may seem like sacrilege to diss the endings of Trigger, but most of them are essentially little goofy puppet show vignettes; though my opinion could be coming from the fact that I suffered through the PSX port to view most of them.  However, there are a few I genuinely like.  And my favorite is the sickest one of all:



Yes, we have inter-species love far before Sonic 2006, and also the revelation that Queene Leene is into some sick, sick shit.  I wonder, what happened on their wedding night when the unholy union between man and beast took place?  Need to consult some fan-fiction.  Be back in a jiffy.

Related Links:

The Weakest Link: Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross
Adding a Thirteenth to Twelve Delicious Flavors: Chrono Trigger DS’ New Ending
OST: Chrono Cross


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About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

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Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

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