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• Whatcha Playing: de Blob

  Just a few short days ago, I was "Whatcha Playing" Secret of Evermore. That is, until de Blob arrived in my mailbox. It's a delightful romp through an increasingly complex and challenging environment, where just a few basic skills are utilized in clever ways. In short, this game is everything that Super Mario Galaxy should have been, but wasn't. Read More... Posted Oct 08 2008, 06:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with no comments Filed under: whatcha playing, wii, cole stryker, super mario galaxy, de blob, platforming

• Crash Bandicoot: Ashamed of His Own Existence

  "Hey-a, folks! I'm back for some reason! If you're offended, I'd like to apologize! I really don't know what happened to my life since the 1990s! Interesting fact: I lack the common decency to kill myself!" These are the words of Crash Bandicoot as his tortured grimace stares at us from yet another title in the franchise: Mind Over Mutant, the fifteenth game in the series. Fifteen!  The only consolation we have is the fact that the cover art for this multi-platform platformer seems to depict Crash's utter shame and possible substance abuse problems.  He's the Corey Haim of homeless mascot characters. Read More... Posted Oct 07 2008, 01:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: crash bandicoot, sony, platforming, mascots, bob mackey

• Awesome Wario Land: Shake It "Ad"

  With all the excitement going on over eight blue bits, we've been overlooking another significant sidescroller: Wario Land Shake It for the Wii. Wario is a big fat guy, not exactly the subtle type. He's probably grown bigger and louder since his first appearence in Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins. I blame it on all the sugar he's doubtlessly needed to consume to keep his ADD levels at max for WarioWare's never-ending hyper spaz. But what happens when you're hefty like Wario and you throw your weight around? You end up breaking shit on YouTube, yo. Obey Waaaario. Destroy Maaario. Oh, and buy Wario's game, yes? (I'd like to buy it, actually. Somehow the idea of shaking the Wii remote to bully enemies out of their milk money is very compelling.) Read More... Posted Sep 23 2008, 06:50 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: wii, platforming, wario, nadia oxford, adventure game, wario land shake it, six golden coins, super mario land 2

• Ulillillia is the Rain Man of Bubsy 3D

  YouTube has unleashed both good and evil into the world, but for every new form of BBW fetish that sprouts like a pimple on the back of the vlogosphere, a delightful new freak—who previously would have no outlet to non-basement social spheres—arises with an astounding new talent developed from a life of having nothing better to do aside from perfecting masturbation. Ulillillia is no stranger to the Internet, but the fact that he hasn’t been kidnapped by the government for use in some evil algebraic scheme boggles the mind. In the following video, our YouTube savior details nine secrets in the second level of Bubsy 3D, a task which he claims took over 500 hours of research. This is not something that you lie about. Read More... Posted Aug 18 2008, 10:00 AM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: platforming, youtube, speed runs, autism, bubsy

• Trailer Review - Wario Land: Shake It!

  I wasn't too impressed with the above animated intro to Wario Land: Shake It!. Between Wario picking his nose and the oh-so-wapanese presentation, I was ready to put this one in the "second-tier Nintendo" file. The horrendous box art doesn't help either. Also, it's being developed by a company called Good-feel. Then I found the gameplay footage below, which excites me in all the ways that Super Paper Mario did. Unlike a lot of folks, I felt let down by that game's lackluster platforming and reliance on endless text bubbles. Looks like Shake It! will focus solely on platforming, which is a relief, because if I have to look at another collection of inane microgames I'm going to throw my Wii out the window. And, wait a sec. Is that...is that Yoshi's Island-style trajectory alignment? Sign me up. Read More... Posted Jul 10 2008, 12:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: cole stryker, super paper mario, yoshi's island, platforming, wario land, microgames

• Spelunking Through Cave Story

  Something in the air--I'm going to blame all that dang fireflower pollen blowing around out there--has me in a retro mood. For all the 3D delights I could be indulging in (my brother loaned me Guitar Hero III), I've recently made a happy return to Pixel's Cave Story. If you haven't played Cave Story, drop what you're doing and download it. No, I don't care if you're performing CPR on your half-dead mother, you simply must experience one of the most endearing and well-balanced 2D platformers ever developed. It's easy to find and it's free. You have no excuse. No, I don't care if trafalmadorians are lifting you into their saucer right this minute. Granted, I avoided Cave Story for years because the name sounded like some slow and winding "adventure" through a key-driven maze. "Cave Story" brings to mind cheap NES bargain-bin knockoffs that your well-meaning aunt would buy you at Christmas. Wow, thanks Auntie Shiela. I can't wait to throw this at the dog next time he gets into the garbage--I mean, I can't wait to play this. Read More... Posted Jul 03 2008, 05:29 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: 8-bit, retro, computer games, freeware, 2d, doukutsu monogatari, platforming, cave story, pixel, spelunking