Most of the Hooksexup Confessions have been a bit boring lately, and don't really inspire me to read them, let alone read and dissect them. I noticed these following ones, though, about falling in love in a week and the conversation that ensued.
"I found the perfect person for me, fell in love with her within a week. But, no surprise, I'm not her type. I'm pessimistic about my chances of finding my type who coincidentally finds me to be her type. God is dead and I still can't take advantage of the situation."
"How do you fall in love with someone in a week? That is ridiculous. You fall in lust- love is when they have stuck around for a while and actually bring somethin to the table......"
"12:59--I fell in love with her in a week and I knew it was love because I was so interested in listening to her talk that sex barely crossed my mind. Sex was there, sure, but I've never felt it sink so far into the background while being attracted to someone so enthralling. I understand that you don't understand, because I didn't buy that such a thing was possible either. But... "now I'm a believer" (and not just because I saw her [very pretty] face)."
"04:29PM- sorry- still not love. Fascination, infatuation, whatever- but perhsps I'm old fashioned- I think the word love should be reserved for those who love you back....."
"Re: Love in only a week. If love is only a feeling, then yeah, sure you're in love, that's fine. But if you only know someone a week there's an awful lot you /don't/ know about them, so that feeling is probably more likely to change than with someone you've known a long time."
"True love: someone who adores you for being exactly who you are and vice versa."
I think the second to last confession says it best. I certainly won't disagree with the fact that you can fall in love in a week's time, because I've been victim of saying pretty much the same thing myself. After a great week with someone new, you can't think anything could ever be bad or wrong in this relationship. The sex is great and daily, you have good conversation, you can do absolutely nothing and still have a great time with the person. You talk to your mother and she asks how it's going with so-and-so and you say "great!" and you think, "Wow, I'm definitely in love with him/her!" And I do think it is love, for the most part. And then the person that's so perfect becomes reality. You realize that he doesn't brush his teeth every day, that he beats his cat every time it pisses on the floor - in front of you, he insults all the women in his family but praise the men, and he's got a small problem with methamphetamines. But you overlook these things - you're in love after all! But then the small problem with methamphetamines turns out be a pretty big problem after all - the whole "love is blind" tends to fade after a while, don't you know. Then you realize, the animal abuse, the drug abuse - it really doesn't fit into your life and you the realization hits you that, maybe it wasn't love, maybe just infatuation.
Can love be short-lived? Can you be absolutely 100% head over heels in love with someone for a week or two and then realize, well...he's not really my type, after all? I'm not talking lust or infatuation here, I'm talking real, actual love. Like I said before, I definitely won't disagree with the fact that you can fall in love in a week because I've done that myself - but with one exception - all those kind of just drifted off until there wasn't the slightest spark of interest left - mostly because, as time went on, I got to know the person more and more and that person turned out to be completely opposite of what I thought he was.
Here's a little story for your amusement: Back when I was fifteen and in high school I was in love with a guy we'll name Cooper. We didn't date. We didn't declare love for one another or anything that teenagers today tend to do. We hung out a lot, partied together, hitchhiked to places together. I was madly in love with him. The kind of love where every day I said things like "I'd take a bullet for him" to myself. And I meant it. One day we were talking on the phone and he asked me if I was interested in maybe dating him, see how it goes. It took a while for me to respond, because my fifteen year old self was saying "OH MY GOD YES LET'S GET MARRIED AND RIDE OUR SKATEBOARDS TO THE CHAPEL" but my other self was saying, "I really appreciate this friendship - if we date and things go south, we'll risk losing the friendship and I don't want that". Long story short, I said we should stay friends - he took it to mean that I wasn't interested in him blah blah blah - we only talked a few times after that but I was still madly in love with him while we went on with our lives. Fast forward seven years - I just returned back to Canada after a seven year stay in the desert in a long term relationship. While I was in love while in Arizona, I still always wondered what happened to Cooper. Was he still alive? Did he ever wonder about me? What would have happened if we did go out? Would we still be together? These questions went unanswered for the moment. Anyways, back in Canada, freshly single and looking to party, I got in touch with a lot of old friends which of course led me to be in contact with Cooper again. I couldn't believe it. He was still alive, sexy as hell with perfect square shoulders and beautiful tattoos and he really hadn't changed much. Seeing him that first time after so long made me fall in love with him again in a second. To make a long, boring story short, he was my dream guy in every sense of the word: physically, mentally, emotionally - everything. We dated. The first time we had sex - and I'm hesitant to write "made love" because that's just not my style, but that's what it felt like - it was perfect. It was pouring rain outside and when we had finished we wrapped a blanket around ourselves and stood outside in the rain on the steps holding each other. THIS IS TRUE LOVE, I wanted to scream to everyone who passed by. It had only been about three weeks of actual dating.
If you've seen Lord of War, you know that quote that Nicholas Cage's character says: "The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real." Guess what - the same can be said of dream guys. The truth comes out when you're so deep inside that you want to ignore, but it's hard. Reality quickly set in and six months later things came to a drastic end. No friendship. No last hug. No nothing. Looking back I see now that it was a dream better left untouched. The idea of being in a relationship with Cooper was better than the actual thing. At least after those first three blissful weeks, anyway.
So, all this to say that, yes - you can fall in love in a week. Some people will disagree and say it's puppy love, lust, infatuation or just a simple crush. But I think it's safe to say that most people after a certain age have experienced all five of these feelings and they know the difference. They know when it's an infatuation that will pass after a few days or when it's love, even if it's a love that won't last.
What do you think, Hooksexup readers? Do you agree you can fall in love in a week? Have you? Does finding out the truth about someone as you date them make you fall out of love? Discuss!
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