Since no one else seems to care if they offend others or not, here we go!
There are more men who suck in the sack than there are women who suck in the sack. That is common knowledge. Why, you ask? It's simple. Men think it's perfectly fine if they just lay there while you do all the work, meanwhile if a woman were to pull the same thing we're called a "bad lay".
Another reason is because men expect too much. They expect the blow job. They expect for you to make them come. They expect you to lick up and swallow their (sometimes foul tasting) sperm. They expect you to bend in uncomfortable and sometimes painful positions all for their pleasure. They expect you to be satisifed within five minutes and then look at you with puppy dog eyes because they can't control their medicore wang.
What do women expect? We expect a little foreplay and a little action that lasts longer than ten minutes. We don't ask for much. Well, not always. A good vagina licking every once in a while, but I'm getting a head of myself.
But you know what I've learned? It takes two to tango, baby and if you're not having fun you can bet your scrawny little balls that the other person isn't either. It's chemistry. You can't be "bad" at sex, it's instinct. It's like taking a crap. You do it once and sure, the first few times are messy as hell, but if you're nearing 40 and still complaining about bad sex partners, I suggest investing in a sex toy (if you're female) or a prostitute if you're male (or one of those blow up dolls could work too, I suppose) and learn the workings of your body before subjecting another poor human to your incompetent ways.
You know what the worst sex I've had is (besides the small penis mishaps)? The men who just lay there and expect the woman to climb on up and do all the work. You can be damn sure that guy won't be getting a complete meal with all the trimmings, so to speak. Another bad sex experience is when you just don't have chemistry with the other person. If you aren't feeling it, why on earth would the sex be good? If you're male and going to go down on the old love taco (or the "mucus flap" as amboabe so lovingly called it) and you aren't all that into it, you aren't doing ANYONE any favours. You can be sure of that
A woman knows when a man likes to eat pussy. It's written all over their face, if you know what I mean. "Going down" because you expect something in return or because you think you're doing her a favor puts men on my black list. There is nothing worse than a man who can't lick the vaj with any kind of skill yet insists on it (usually in hopes that you will suck his knob in return). Unlike sex, oral sex is not instinct (well, for some it is, bless their talented little hearts). If you suck at licking, buy some mangoes or peaches. Practice. Watch porn. Read some lesbian material, I don't know. But until a man learns to properly enjoy the oral sex goodness, I really don't think they should be yammering on about how most women are bad in bed.
Thank you and goodnight.
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