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Date Machine: Je t'adore

Posted by airheadgenius

 

I go through phases of dating and phases where I just can't be bothered with it.
But when I am in one of those "meet 6 people in a short period of time" moods, I tend to come up with more precise realisations about what I can deal with in a relationship. Not superficial characteristics like hair color or cynical ones like a base line salary (although there is always the minimum package size requirement, but we've been there already, hehe) it's more about their attitudes and how that might reflect on me.

And that's how I came up with today's new rule:

I need to be adored!

I've got a reasonably healthy self esteem. I am extremely confident about my intelligence and mental capability, reasonably at one with my personality and, for the most part content with my appearance. As a mother of two, I hanker back to the pre-kid-more-sleep days and wonder what on earth I was worried about back then, but when I look in the mirror, I am fine with my reflection. I am not a beauty, nor will I win pageants, but I am a good looking woman.

But I am not content with my lover, FWB or partner thinking that I am simply reasonably attractive. Nope. My lover has to think that I am the most gorgeous thing he's seen. The proverbial "best thing since sliced bread". Luckily for me, I've dated, bedded and lived with men who genuinely loved my appearance.

Yes, it's self esteem, not my-lover-makes-me-feel-better esteem. But it isn't about someone else validating me entirely, just that in my case, doubt sets in if I am not sure that the man is physically completely into me.

I am in no way shape or form a princess. I've been the breadwinner throughout my pregnancies and whilst raising my kids, I am a landlord and self sufficient financially. I lift heavy stuff. I put up shelves, paint, tile, change light bulbs, remove mice from mousetraps (although thank fuck that those days are over) and was the one that ploughed through the sewer leak in the cellar (what an awful time to discover that ones rubber boots were not waterproof).

I also don't seem to mind if my man thinks I've done something stupid, or made a bad judgement call. That aspect of my self esteem is sturdy and robust. This adoration requirement only seems to manifest in the physical.

So, if we've met and you think I am gorgeous, then please continue to be in touch. If we've met and you think I am just ok, then by all means keep it movin'.
This chick needs adoration.
Thank you.

(It doesn't take Freud to tell you that I wasn't complimented much as a kid. Must go and tell my children they are beautiful...)

The obligatory back catalogue:
Zeitgeisty's Behaviour
Rate my Profile
My kink is better than your kink
The good the bad and the ugly
I am a whore
First Date sex?
Small Juicy Ones
The Perfect Blowjob
What is a boyfriend
Friends with Benefits
Real Women
Another quick pull out
Lesbian Lovers Come Out
Digits
Asymmetrical Knobbage
Cunning Linguist
Cunnilingus
Fabulous at 40
Winehouse Reveals
The Chick Facial File
Mirrors
Confession plus Daily Knob!
Abusive?
Celebrity Confessions: Boy George
Dick Trilogy Part 3
MORE dicks in my inbox
Dicks in your inbox
Read my Sodding Profile!
Hooksexup Confessions: Herpes
The Queen Confesses
The Arse Man Cometh
The Ass Play Chronicles
The Sandwich Blowjob Porn Connection
Bangin Ass
Deformed Dicks
Did I really dream that?
Why I don't date Celebrities
Fashionably late or just a slacker

 

 I used to have a giant crush on Dave Wakeling from The Beat (errr, they weren't called the English Beat ya know). I prolly would've done Ranking Roger a serious favour too. 

 


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Posted Oct 13 2008, 07:56 PM
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Comments

recycledbrooklyn said:

That's my favorite song by The Beat!  They had to add the "English" bit for the U.S. release because there was already a band called The Beat... some sort of an entertainment industry rule.  

Just once in my life I want someone to look at me the way that Nancy Reagan looked at Ron.  Not all the time though because it would give me the creeps and I wouldn't trust it anyway.

October 13, 2008 9:02 PM

acamil said:

hey pretty (read hot) one, lunch next week?

October 13, 2008 11:35 PM

zeitgeisty said:

I agree with you 100%.. the only catch is this - you have to be really into the person doing all the adoring, or else it just becomes empty, and eventually you wind up feeling like shit.

Now as a matter of overall probability, the chances one has of finding someone they're REALLLLYYY into and having them return that back to them in spades... that's a very low probabability.

October 14, 2008 10:20 AM

airheadgenius said:

recycled - now I have to go look for pictures of Nancy and Ron. Thanks for giving me a means to waste some time. Sod the mortgage.

acamil - England next week so the lunch would be a little expensive.

zeit - POP! That was my bubble bursting. Thanks for nothing!

October 14, 2008 11:47 AM

Bahhh said:

Ignore Zeit... while just fanboy, You seem grounded and creative, you express yourself so well, and you are gorgeous in many ways (as much as one can tell from profile pics).  I'm sure you will find that match out there... it's not so rare, most people are too busy or clinging onto the wrong things to get it.

October 14, 2008 12:37 PM

leonardo1976 said:

Who doesn't like to hear those words?  The trick is that the other person is actually been honest and not just saying it because: a> they feel they have to say it.  b> they know the other person wants to hear it.  c> it's going to get you laid.

"Adore" has to be one of my favorite words!  It can have both the concept of adoring a persona but it also can have the connotation of physically adoring (with all that it implies) somebody else's body.

October 14, 2008 3:19 PM

loobetchka said:

The English Beat is a million times better name..

In fact, the Beat might be the lamest name I've ever heard.. Didn't anyone tell them there was already a little band called the THE BEATles??

October 14, 2008 3:35 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

Oh please!  The Beatles is far from an original name for their time.  Must their fans insist that they were the first at EVERYTHING???  I'd be willing to bet the name was a suggestion from their record company.  

AHG--Reagan remains my least favorite politician of my lifetime, not just for his own ignorance but for everything that his supporters represent to this day.  That said, I never had a doubt in mind that nobody ever adored their partner more than than Nancy adored him.  Poor thing.  

October 14, 2008 6:21 PM

shakti_vos said:

agreeing w/Zeit.  i've been adored by men for whom i have very little respect.  if he adores me, it must be mutual or i just get annoyed and mean.

October 15, 2008 8:21 AM

spjv840 said:

I've been adored by men I wasn't all that into and while it was nice being treated like a queen, for the most part, it didn't mean too much except for a slight ego-boost. When you adore the man who treats you like a queen, you don't only feel like one, you ARE one and can usually be seen strutting around just about everywhere. Haha. I don't know why, but after reading this I was reminded of this photo I saw last week of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie where Brad's holding her and whispering something in her ear or just nuzzling her ear and she has this look on her face that just says "I love this man and I KNOW he loves me too" - it's a great picture.

October 15, 2008 8:45 AM

sonicblender said:

i don't think it's impossible for two people to be really into each other. isn't that love? and i still believe in love. i want to adore and to be adored, even if the adoration comes in different forms from the two people.

at the end of the day, i'm not going to settle for someone that doesn't in some way "adore" me, and i certainly don't want to be with someone i don't feel that way towards.

that simply cannot be too much to ask for.

October 16, 2008 5:48 PM

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