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TVTropes' "Woolseyisms"

Posted by Nadia Oxford

It's rare that we give much thought to the good men and women who turn our video game text from "YOU LUCKY ARE WINNER!" to something dignified. But where there are exceptions, there is the potential for small wars. By far one of the most controversial names in game translation and localisation is Mr Ted Woolsey.

Ted Woolsey translated many of Square-Enix's best-known 16-bit works, including Secret of Mana, Final Fantasy VI and Super Mario RPG. To give you an idea of how divided gamers are over this gentlemen, consider that Woolsey hasn't done any substantial translation work since the death of the Super Nintendo but his name alone makes people jump up and down like testosterone-driven baboons.

TV Tropes has a long and rambling Wiki entry about Woolsey, his followers and his haters. For the sake of a quick crash course, Woolsey was (in)famous for adding his own voice to his translations. This "voice" gave us something to smile at in the place of Japanese puns we couldn't understand (except for purists who can't understand why we don't think sound-alike sushi name jokes are funny). His voice also added a good deal of depth to what was, for most of us, an epic story. Final Fantasy II US had an okay thing going with illegitimate moon brothers or whatever, but Final Fantasy III US--or Final Fantasy VI, if you prefer--took on themes that were unheard of and still go largely untouched by RPGs today. Woolsey had to convey Terra's identity crisis, suicide, unwanted pregnancy and the friggin' Apocalypse while keeping the game text family friendly.

Oh, and he wasn't allowed to make references to anyone dying, even though Kefka remains the only Square villian who killed people like bugs for the sheer joy of it.

Woolsey was especially grand at balancing his own jokes with the original source material. Working Designs' games, as well as some fan translations, often slash and burn the Japanese story for the sake of a cock joke. Excessive swears is usually a good indication of translators taking things a bit far. "Kuso" is an all-purpose Japanese curse that shows up everywhere, but it's relatively mild ("Damn" or "Shit", depending on your mood). Things rarely get raunchier than that. Contrary to popular belief, Japan is aware of which games and shows are meant for children, and it acts accordingly.

By the way, Final Fantasy VI Advance did an excellent job touching up Woolsey's translation while keeping its friendly ghost alive. I recommend it because Woolsey was forced to cut a lot of the game text due to space constraints. Admittedly, there's some stuff there you could probably do without seeing...like Emperor Ghestal's suggestion that Celes mate with Kefka to produce magic-infused progeny for his new Empire. Go ahead and take that one to bed with you.

Related Links:

Know Your Final Fantasy IV Trivia. It Could Save Your Life.
Would You Play a Final Fantasy VII Remake? Hmmm?
Gaming on a Train: Final Fantasy IV


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Comments

Roto13 said:

Unfortunately, Woolsey was unable to translate suicide into something acceptable by Nintendo's standards (he's not a magician), so that whole scene was changed to a "leap of faith." It's a shame, though. That's probably the most powerful moment in the game, so it's sad it had to be censored.

Son of a submariner! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE it when people can't recognize the genius behind Woolsey's translations! I'd slit their mommas' throats for a nickel! Those licentious howlers! I'd raise my staff, and POW! Right in the kisser!

Uwaoooo~!

August 21, 2008 8:52 PM

Ten-High Charlie said:

Man. Video games. Whoa.

August 21, 2008 11:24 PM

thompson said:

among the most interesting posts i've read here.  nicely done.

August 22, 2008 1:10 AM

John H. said:

Very insightful. Poor ol' Woolsey's translations at least had ENERGY.

August 25, 2008 6:15 PM

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John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

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