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• I Don't Think I Missed Much: Beyond Oasis

  Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection has proved invaluable in helping me patch the gaming gaps inflicted by my childhood loyalty to Nintendo. Aside from suffering at the hands of Altered Beast, I've been working my way through Beyond Oasis. Beyond Oasis is an action-RPG that was released in 1995, a particularly rich vein of gaming history. Its top-down sword-swinging action is most often compared to The Legend of Zelda, though the large sprites, interchangeable weapons and focus on fighting over puzzle-solving remind me more of Secret of Mana. With Secret of Mana being one of my very favourite instruments of torture video games, you would think that I'd latch right on to the Sega Genesis alternative about an Arabian boy with blue eyes and blonde hair. Alas, it has just not been so. Beyond Oasis works well as a distraction to pick at while waiting for my potatoes to boil, but something about it feels hollow. It feels strange to make this discovery, because I spent a lot of energy pretending not to care when the first big, beautiful screenshots of Beyond Oasis hit game magazines. Read More... Posted Apr 14 2009, 09:16 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: legend of zelda, retro, 16-bit, sega genesis, nadia oxford, secret of mana, beyond oasis

• Unsolicited Scares: St Eva from Breath of Fire II Loves You Thiiis Much

  Circumstances beyond my control got me thinking the other day about Breath of Fire II, Capcom's SNES RPG for totally buff men (unless the US box art is lying to me). Breath of Fire II was my first experience with a God-slaying JRPG, and it stuck with me for a few reasons. Reason one: it nearly made me crap my pants. Every good Messiah hunt includes a foray into the Master's den of cultists, and Breath of Fire predictably sends the hero Ryu and his pals into the heart of St Eva's town towards the end of the game. St Eva is God, but he's not benevolent. What a twist! The story makes it obvious that St Eva stinks of corruption and rancid food (flowing robes are catch-alls for cheese and salsa drippings), so Ryu is a bit put off when he walks into St Eva's town and finds it a bustling, happy place. Revelers comment on the beautiful weather, the lame can walk, the blind can see, and every dog has a wagging tail. Ryu thinks, “Well, maybe I had this Eva fellow pegged wrong,” and decides he needs to reconsider his options. He exits the town-- --and finds himself back inside the town gates. Suddenly, the warm air is icy, and the friendly townspeople have transformed into cackling, shambling husks. I'm making the event sound especially chilly because it had a personal effect on me. See, there was this time I was in a death cult, and—just kidding. But there is a specific reason I never, ever forgot my trip to St Eva's Land. Read More... Posted Apr 13 2009, 11:02 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: snes, rpg, retro, super nintendo, 16-bit, jrpg, nadia oxford, unsolicited scares, breath of fire ii

• I Will Defeat You, Altered Beast

  It took a while for the Sega Genesis to peel kids' grimy fingers off their NES controllers. The NES had Castlevania, Mega Man, Ninja Gaiden and its pantheon of Mario games. The Genesis had, well, Altered Beast. Every time I play Altered Beast, I use explicatives I never new existed in my inner dictionary. “F this game! F its mom! Grrr! No wonder nobody liked the Genesis until Sonic the Hedgehog!” Kids, can you point out what's wrong with that previous paragraph? Hint: ”Every time I play Altered Beast...” I can't even give you a count of how many years I've been trying to beat Sega's classic. My efforts have doubled since I acquired Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection for the Xbox 360, but no dice. Incidentally, I have beaten the arcade version, also included on the Genesis Collection—but that's with the aid of unlimited and accessible continues. On my honour, I will finish Altered Beast on the Genesis with no cheats. This will surely please God more than contributing food or hours of boring volunteer services to the needy. Read More... Posted Apr 08 2009, 12:04 AM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: genesis, retro, 16-bit, altered beast, nadia oxford, sonic's ultimate genesis collection

• Comfort Through Gaming: Accomplishing Anything in SimEarth

  A New Yorker article published in 2006 quoted Will Wright as being an advocate of the Montessori method of teaching. Wright argues that kids given sufficient materials and left to their own devices will educate themselves far more thoroughly than any structured program. SimCity was apparently born from the legendary game designer's love for self-discovery: ”SimCity comes right out of Montessori—if you give people this model for building cities, they will abstract from it principles of urban design.” Which is a valid point of view if you're a genius like Wright, but the average SimCity player is eventually just going to write “PENIS” with railroad tracks before giving up, Montessori education or no Montessori education. I am very much an average Sim player. I did well enough with SimCity for the Super Nintendo and (gasp) Commodore 64. When I picked up SimEarth for the SNES (developed by FCI instead of Maxis), I expected the game to merely be a global re-imagining of SimCity, intuitive and easy to jump into. Instead, I was met with something almost completely different that required a bit more book learning than “Commercial zones do really well next to residential zones.” SimEarth is full of controls, dials, variables, and there is little graphic reward: you won't see massive cities bristle from the wilds as civilisation progresses, and full-scale nuclear war is disappointingly toothless. Yet, something about the SNES installment of the earth simulator is laid-back to the point of being almost therapeutic. I never developed my totalitarian Tyrannosaurus Rex empire because I largely had no idea what I was doing, but I was content to try over and over. Read More... Posted Apr 06 2009, 11:06 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with no comments Filed under: simcity, will wright, retro, 16-bit, nadia oxford, simearth, comfort through gaming

• Licensing Tragedies: The Donkey Kong Country Cartoon

  Nine out of ten platformer fans with two working eyes agree that the computer-rendered sprites used in Donkey Kong Country were a bit more impressive fourteen years ago. Even so, Donkey Kong Country's visuals still succeed in its portrayal of certain key environments: lush (if flat) jungle foliage, colourful coral, atmospheric snowstorms, and rich orange-and-red sunsets. Additionally, the series' characters were likable until Donkey Kong 64 dragged each simian into monkey hell. The Kong clan may have been slain by the DK Rap, but I maintain that 1996's French Canadian Donkey Kong Country cartoon helped engineer the gallows. The two disasters are not necessarily connected, except by name, but both can be accused of bland presentation and a noticeable lack of humour and fun. I will admit that I am criticising a pile of alphabet blocks, here: the Donkey Kong Country cartoon was meant for very young audiences, and it was the family-oriented showpiece for the launch of Teletoon, Canada's animation channel. It was no surprise Nelvana saw fit to give Donkey Kong a vocabulary beyond “Ook ook grunt,” and a story beyond “Beat up reptiles for bananas.” Even so, the crew rarely did anything except thwart King K Rool's attempts to grab Donkey's, uh, “Crystal Coconut” episode after episode. Also, there was a prophecy about Donkey Kong ruling the island or something. Hooray, life under a gorilla regime. Read More... Posted Mar 16 2009, 07:39 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: snes, donkey kong country, super nintendo, 16-bit, cartoon, nadia oxford, donkey kong country 2, licensing tragedies

• Behold The Half-Assed Review That Steered Me Away From Earthbound

  Gather around, ladies and gentlemen. It's time to share my secret shame. Come for the story, stay for the punch, the pie, and a chance to wallow in the lingering stink of failure. When I was young enough to believe in honesty, I relied on game magazine reviews to tell me whether or not a game was worth a purchase. I've already gone over how many Great Canadian Funbux typically went into the purchase of one cartridge game, so you can probably forgive me for doing my research. Unfortunately, I kind of put myself at a disadvantage by taking to heart the opinions of only one magazine: Gamepro. To be fair, I have to admit that I wasn't steered wrong too often. If not for the rave review I read in the November 1994 issue of the magazine, I would have bypassed the majesty of Final Fantasy VI. But it was my faith in Gamepro that made me turn up my nose at Earthbound until just last year. While bypassing Earthbound because of a magazine review was a big mistake on my part, it wasn't like I'd boiled a puppy or cast an unforgivable curse on a baby. Earthbound's genius was snubbed by a lot of SNES owners; that's why the fandom has since been driven half-mad with regret. No, my problem is that Earthbound Central has scanned and archived the review that kept me away from Itoi's masterpiece...and I can't believe that I was swayed by such an impotent clump of...assumptions. Read More... Posted Mar 09 2009, 11:31 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: review, snes, rpg, earthbound, retro, super nintendo, 16-bit, writing, gamepro, nadia oxford, games journalism

• Comfort Through Gaming: Super Metroid's Dark Tunnels

  I've been fighting a mutant cold all week, which means I just don't have the energy to tackle my shiny pile of virgin games. Yes, I am an example of humanity at its laziest and most spoiled. Any further down the ladder and I'll be a quivering puddle of goo that manipulates game controllers with an oozing pseudopod. Surely you can relate, though. Mr Cole Stryker recently spoke of “relaxing games;” in the same vein, I have my stash of “comfort games.” Digital chicken soup. Something to turn to when I'm just not up to slogging through a ten-hour tutorial. Games that don't make me work. Or even games with one special trait that brings me inner peace. One such game is Super Metroid, fresh-picked from the Virtual Console. Super Metroid hovers near the top of everyone's list of favourite action games, and I'm no exception. But for me, the title really shines (somehow ironically, I suppose) because of its dark atmosphere. Read More... Posted Mar 04 2009, 04:12 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: metroid zero mission, super metroid, metroid fusion, snes, retro, super nintendo, 16-bit, nadia oxford, comfort through games

• Chrono Trigger's Box Art Still Makes My Head Buzz

  I've never been a big fan of Chrono Trigger's box art. I love the game to pieces. I love its story, its music and its character designs. “Akira Toriyama” will be the last words to burst from my mouth in a bubble of blood when Mouseketeer revolutionaries, seeking to empower western animation, unsuccessfully try to force me to renounce my love for the manga-ka. But I just don't dig on Chrono Trigger's cover illustration. It certainly doesn't rank anywhere in Mega Man's Hall of Box Art Horrors, but it's too busy, there's an inflated sense of intensity, and it was a jarring change from the quiet RPG labels I was used to in the 16-bit era. The boxes for Final Fantasy II and Final Fantasy III on the SNES weren't as stylish as their Super Famicom counterparts, but they were recognisable. The “T” styled as a sword in the American Final FantTasy logo, though not especially creative, was iconic. Square RPGs outside of Final Fantasy still featured calm box art that carried a hint of mystery about the contents within. Secret of Mana, for instance. Chrono Trigger's box art, on the other hand, is bold and loud. Though it's obviously a finished piece of work, it feels like a piece of concept art that was randomly selected to represent the entire game. I look at it and I'm helpless to stop my mind from wandering into Geekville. I start thinking, “Why is Heckran on Death Peak? Why is Crono alive on Death Peak? Wait, maybe that's 12,000,000 BC? Those winter clothes are actually kind of badass, but we never see anything like them. Why would Frog even bother to look for a contact lens that's buried in two feet of snow?” (I know, I know, it's the Arc Impulse Triple Tech—for which Marle is incorrectly casting a Fire spell). Read More... Posted Feb 20 2009, 10:07 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo ds, snes, rpg, chrono trigger, final fantasy II, retro, 16-bit, nadia oxford, box art, final fantasy III

• Unsolicited Scares: Threed, Zombie Central

  All this talk about Earthbound and related disappointments made me hungry for a Skip Sandwich DX. I ate the sandwich with a mayo packet and began remembering what parts of Earthbound I liked best. Earthbound is an unsettling game for a number of reasons. First, the party consists entirely of kids, and even though kids have a deserved reputation for never shutting up, Ness and his pals are quiet, stoic and very much focused on the task at hand. Second, the threat they're up against is ethereal, but Giygas' influence on the grown-up world is unmistakable: adults' greed is amplified, corruption amongst authorities is rampant, and there's that one town with the whole cult thing going on. The third and possibly most potent reason for Earthbound's dark humour is its masterful blending of innocent colour and mood-setting music. If something bad is going down in a scenario, the sound will tell you before the visuals do. Any game that starts you off investigating an unidentified falling object in the dead of night with disjointed alien percussion as background music is a game that's not going to deliver warm fuzzies if it doesn't bloody well feel like it. Obviously, Earthbound isn't meant to make your heart stop at any one moment—final battle excluded, maybe—but I've come to think of the party's visit to the town of Threed as Resident Evil Crayola.. Zombies and ghosts have taken over the city, but they're pretty goofy looking critters (less so with Handsome Tom and Smilin' Sam; sorry, I hate puppets). Even so, the darkness surrounding the town is oppressive, and the background music hardly indicates that Ness and Paula are attending a kids' Halloween party. Read More... Posted Feb 19 2009, 05:26 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: snes, rpg, earthbound, game music, retro, 16-bit, nadia oxford, virtual console, unsolicited scares, threed

• Sonic's Secret Past

  The ins and outs of Sonic the Hedgehog continuity have mostly been a mystery to all but the most insane fans of the franchise, mainly because Sonic's story really hasn't been all that consistent over time. We've gone from a little blue dude running on checkerboard-patterned dirt to emo inter-species love stories without any explanation as to just how this drastic change makes any sense whatsoever; and let's not forget about the multiple cartoon series and Archie Comics that make pinning down one true story of Sonic nigh impossible. But from the character's very inception, he did have his own "bible," which is essentially a guide to ensure that the Sonic characters, as well as the setting they exist in, remain consistent regardless of who's handling the property. Over time, the mishandlers of the Sonic franchise have veered very, very far away from what the universe is supposed to be; but, thanks to some leaked documents from a NEOGaf user aptly named TheSonicRetard, confused gamers worldwide can catch a glimpse of Sega's intentions for Sonic from day one. Read More... Posted Feb 18 2009, 05:15 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: sega, sonic the hedgehog, sonic, retro, 16-bit, nostalgia, bob mackey

• Unsolicited Scares: Terranigma and the Desert

  When we talk about games that made us scream like grandmothers treed on a kitchen chair by mice, we default to the obvious. “Ohhh, Resident Evil 4 made me poop myself in fear,” one contributor gasps. “That's nothing,” another counters. “Silent Hill made my poop poop itself in fear!” And so on. It's only natural that we think about the survival horror genre during these conferences of memory. But I've been thinking lately about games that gave me the chills when I certainly didn't expect them to. I won't say I have the hardiest soul around, but even JRPGs and Super Mario games have some genuinely creepy moments that can blindside you. Not necessarily the whole game (unlike Resident Evil or Silent Hill), but maybe a specific scenario that comes back to haunt me when I wake up from a nightmare and fail to conjure something soothing to help me sleep again. First example: The “Desert” music from Terranigma. Terranigma was Enix's follow-up to Illusion of Gaia for the Super Nintendo. It's best known for never showing its face in America despite demand. It's known almost as well for its haunting soundtrack. “Desert” is a sound clip that tends to visit my memory when I'm alone in some dark place, usually when my imagination is already engorged with fear. The clip doesn't have to be taken in context for its haunting whine to skittle down your neck and back, but it helps a bit. Read More... Posted Feb 12 2009, 07:27 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with no comments Filed under: resident evil, silent hill, game music, retro, 16-bit, nadia oxford, terranigma, survival horror, unsolicited scares

• Confessions of the Young and Stupid: I Almost Bought a Genesis For Moonwalker

  When the Sega Genesis came on the scene, there were specific game advertisements or previews that made kids look at their 8-bit Nintendo with new doubt. Some children started paying attention to the Genesis when Altered Beast wose from its gwave. Others started pulling on their mom's arm for Sonic the Hedgehog. The first game that gave me “console envy” was Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. If you're nodding with me right now, you're around my age and you understand me. If you're snickering, you're a young punk and gerroff my lawn. When I was a kid, the name “Michael Jackson” made kids' eyes light up. Promises of special trips to Neverland Ranch and all the candy we could eat weren't necessary; Michael was just that cool. Everyone wanted to be Michael. He could dance, he could perform and damn it all, he put together Thriller. Moonwalker was cool, too. At the time, it made perfect sense to me that Michael's demigod essence could not be contained by the dinky Nintendo; no, it would take nothing less than a 16-bit temple. The in-game playlist was enough to stop a kid's heart: Bad, Billie Jean and Thriller to name a few (though we did get stiffed pretty bad Thriller-wise, since the music didn't show up where you'd expect it to—hello, graveyard? Zombies?). But once you stripped (!!!) the suave suit and hat from Moonwalker, it wasn't much beyond a mediocre platformer with a big name and Bubbles face-sitting action. Read More... Posted Jan 09 2009, 10:17 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, super mario bros 3, music, nes, retro, 16-bit, nostalgia, sega genesis, nadia oxford, michael jackson, moonwalker

• Crono: My First Aeris Gainsborough

  You remember Aeris' death in Final Fantasy VII, right? Sephiroth dropped from the sky, brandishing his very big sword, and he spit Aeris like a piece of sacrificial lamb on a shishkabob. Cloud broke out the pitas, Cid stirred up the hummus and—no, wait, that didn't happen. Aeris died in Cloud's arms and it was very sad. There, that's what happened. Aeris's death, though curiously dry (not a drop of blood was spilled—what kind of impotent Jesus stand-in was she?), was a stunning event for the gaming world. Until the moment Sephiroth fell on her as neatly as a dart flying to a pub's board, it seemed unfathomable that a game character could die. Forever. No take-backs. Unfathomable for some. Not so much for others. Read More... Posted Jan 08 2009, 12:01 AM by Nadia Oxford with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: snes, chrono trigger, Playstation, retro, marle, super nintendo, crono, 16-bit, final fantasy vii, nadia oxford, chrono trigger ds, aerith, aeris

• Picking Chrono Trigger Clean

  Mackey just reminded me of something. Well, Mackey reminds me of a lot of things, primarily of when I was a sexy leopardess who drove across Canada, solving cold murder cases. Let's keep this in the context of games, though. Mackey's post reminded me of a different age of gaming, when we used to pull apart games like so much shredded pork in hopes of squeezing just ten more minutes of gameplay from the battered cartridge. Oh, to find one more secret. Oh, to tie up that loose end. The Internet in 1995 was polluted with gaming "secrets" like the exact rain dance you needed to perform in order to resurrect General Leo in Final Fantasy VI. And Schala could be revived in Chrono Trigger, of course. All you had to do was the hokey pokey while waving a chicken over your head. I performed a lot of these crazy rituals. I was desperate to find Schala. I thought the key lay in the Last Village--more specifically, in Janus' chatty purple cat, Alfador. I thought Alfador could lead me to the answers. He didn't, and I was very sad. Why were we so desperate to make these connections back then? Read More... Posted Dec 05 2008, 08:00 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo ds, snes, chrono trigger, retro, chrono cross, 16-bit, nostalgia, nadia oxford, chrono trigger ds

• Looks Great, Tastes Bad: The '90s and its Crop of Unbalanced Games

  "Earthworm Jim is on the Virtual Console today!" exclaims a message board thread somewhere in Gamer Town. In seconds, nostalgia draws traffic to the post like a purring queen draws kittens to the teat. "Oh, this game was so awesome," a poster named Billy declares. "They don't make games like this anymore." That's right, little Billy. They don't. I'm sort of glad about that because I don't think my heart can endure mass doses of disappointment anymore. Though Japanese games ruled the sixteen bit era, American developers were finding their legs as well. And oh, what a pair of legs they found. Games like Aladdin on the Genesis, The Lion King and Earthworm Jim looked and sounded brilliant. They are, in my opinion, still some of the best-looking games out there in spite of running on 24 megs of memory as opposed to today's standard of a hojillion gigabytes. I still love watching people play Earthworm Jim because the title has so much love and personality in every frame of animation. There's the rub: I like to watch (tee hee). I don't actually like to play Earthworm Jim--or Aladdin--or The Lion King--because the games are consistently and unfairly difficult, sometimes for the most baffling reasons. When Earthworm Jim fires his standard weapon, you can't see the spray of bullets. Even the lowliest of crows will dodge your invisible fire half the time despite being directly above you, but there's no possible way to correct your aim because you can't see where you're aiming. Read More... Posted Oct 29 2008, 04:16 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: earthworm jim, super nintendo, 16-bit, nostalgia, sega genesis, nadia oxford, the 90s, aladdin, lion king

• The Videogame Ages, part 2

  In part one of The Videogame Ages, I discussed the inadequacy of “generation” language in gaming, and laid out The Golden Age of gaming. In part two, I look at the Silver and Bronze ages before taking a look at the modern era and the future. The Silver Age – 1983 to 1996 8-Bit, 16-Bit, Early Handheld, Early 3D, Advanced PC and Arcade The silver age of games is defined by expansion, in not just playability but breadth of experience. When home computers became affordable and home consoles began diversifying, games started transforming from immediate, single-mechanic experiences into more lasting forms. Silver age games were still about escalating challenge, but high scores ceased being the goal, replaced by definitive endings. Games started becoming more explicitly narrative-driven, as aesthetic justification on consoles and as the focus of many PC games (see the entire adventure game genre.) Portable gaming also started to rise to prominence during this period, early single-screen LCD games replaced by multi-game consoles like the Game Boy and Atari Lynx. Arcade and PC game technology pulled far away from home consoles, but all games were shifted from the rough visual abstraction of golden age games, into more aesthetically recognizable presentations – albeit still cartoonish impressionistic rather than realistic. The rise of polygonal 3D graphics, both real-time full 3D (Yu Suzuki’s Virtua series) and pre-rendered (Myst, etc.), at the end of the silver age marks the transition to bronze. In 1996, with the release of Mario 64, Tomb Raider, and Quake, the silver age comes to a close. Read More... Posted Oct 27 2008, 06:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, boom blox, little big planet, game boy, halo 3, nes, PC, half-life, mac, mario 64, atari, Playstation, super mario bros, nolan bushnell, spore, tomb raider, 8-bit, 16-bit, quake, mmo, arcade, famicom, littlebigplanet, spacewar!, bob dvorak, golden age, 128-bit, Magnavox odyssey, myst, bronze age, silver age, pong, 32-bit, tennis for two

• The Videogame Ages, part 1

  This past Friday, I tried to slip a little piece of language into a discussion about game emulation that I was wary about using at all. At this point, the go-to boundaries for discussing videogames’ admittedly small history is console-technology generations. We say 8-Bit or 16-Bit because these are easy identifiers based on competing, contemporary technologies. But the language “The 8-Bit Generation” doesn’t account for arcade technology, PC games, or portable gaming. Now that Bob Dvorak’s Tennis for Two is officially fifty years-old, I think we can finally start applying broader terms to gaming’s evolutionary eras. Obviously history is fluid, and chances are these classifications won’t hold true in 2050, but for now they work. The Hesiodic ages, as laid out here, consider games on every platform; the rigid parameters of home consoles, the advanced nature of PC and Mac gaming throughout the 1980s and ‘90s, the fast strides made by arcade technology throughout that same period, and the predominantly inferior technology available in handheld gaming. Unlike Hesiod’s Ages of Man, however, the videogame ages are (mostly) a positive progression. Please note: these are not strict definitions. This is a discussion, and I want everyone to make their opinions heard in the comments section. Now then, onward to the Golden Age. Read More... Posted Oct 27 2008, 05:30 PM by John Constantine with | with no comments Filed under: john constantine, boom blox, little big planet, game boy, halo 3, nes, PC, half-life, mac, mario 64, atari, Playstation, super mario bros, nolan bushnell, spore, tomb raider, 8-bit, 16-bit, quake, mmo, arcade, famicom, littlebigplanet, spacewar!, bob dvorak, golden age, 128-bit, Magnavox odyssey, myst, bronze age, silver age, pong, 32-bit, tennis for two

• Time For Terranigma! Right?

  Friends, join me in a round of "Let's Push Our Effin' Luck." The Virtual Console has done such a good job at not sucking for the past few weeks that it's only natural for me to raise my hopes and watch them get sheared. So, Nintendo. Square-Enix. Everyone. Time to stop starting and stopping like a nervous thoroughbred. It's time for commitment. It's time for Terranigma. When you were young, you probably played Soulblazer and/or Illusion of Gaia on the Super Nintendo. Both games provided Zelda-flavoured adventures that were nevertheless unique. Illusion of Gaia in particular still stands out in my mind for its mild hero, Will, a boy with telepathic powers who must jump-start Earth's stagnant evolution. Terranigma actually preceds Will's journey and Soulblazer story-wise, casting the player as Ark. Ark is cast out of his Eden-like villiage and tasked with beginning the very evolution that Will is later called upon to re-direct. Terranigma plays similarly to Illusion of Gaia, but it might seem unfamiliar because it never made it to North America. It did, however, see a release in Europe. So there's the beauty part: Terranigma already has an English translation waiting patiently for us. Read More... Posted Oct 14 2008, 06:54 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: square-enix, retro, super nintendo, 16-bit, nadia oxford, virtual console, terranigma, illusion of gaia, soulblazer

• Screw Attack Remembers The Lion King; I Remember a 16-Bit Jungle Hell

  Screw Attack's Video Game Vault peeks back at the games we enjoyed as cubs. Most of the commentary on their video game recollections doesn't go beyond "This game was AWESOME!" or "This game sucked!" It's hard to fault them for it, since we all have a tendency to do the very same. Their latest retrospective, which looks at the Lion King game for the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo, is another "omg this game was rad in ever-y way!!" moment. Maybe they're thinking of another game in a parallel dimension or something because I remember a gamethat was exceptionally well done in some areas and finger-breakingly frustrating in others. For starters, I have a shaky history with The Lion King. I know chunks of the movie are lifted from Osamu Tezuka's Kimba the White Lion (The Simpsons acknowledges the very same in the episode "'Round Springfield," with the famous ghost-delivered line, "You must avenge my death, Kimba--dah, I mean, Simba.") and that Disney's subsequent denial of Osamu Tezuka's existance is the worst thing the company has ever done outside of Walt gassing Jewish children in Space Mountain (disclaimer: Walt probably never gassed children). Read More... Posted Oct 07 2008, 05:35 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: screw attack, disney, retro, 16-bit, nadia oxford, movie games, the lion king

• The E.V.O.lution of Spore

  Yahtzee recently mouthed off in his charming British way about Will Wright's Spore. Does he like it much? Short answer: "Nooooooooooooooo..." I haven't played Spore. My computer is from the Stone Age (2002) and completely useless for gaming. It's especially useless right now because it's been infected with the digital equivalent of late-stage syphilis and I do believe it's going quite mad. As for Spore, I might pick up the Wii version once it receives all the necessary castrations. But I have to admit that Yahtzee's weekly snark-a-thon woke up an otherwise oblivious bit of my brain that's telling me, "Hey...you played Spore. On the Super Nintendo. It was called EVO." Now kids, don't you all yell at Granma Nadia like that. I know Spore is far more complex than the 16-bit prehistoric gorgefest that captured my heart when I was fourteen-ish. But the idea of eating and growing appendages as a result of eating (wouldn't that make the obesity crisis a lot more interesting) took me back to a happy place. When we were kids, we wanted to genetically engineer nail-studded dragons with teeth like Ginsu knives and scales like tank armour. Oh, and they had to be able to fly, of course. Completely impossible by Nature's hoity-toity standards, but typical of the animals that rattle around in a kid's imagination. When Enix made EVO, it remembered the pencil crayon drawings that adorn every boy's school binder. Read More... Posted Sep 18 2008, 05:22 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: snes, PC, will wright, spore, super nintendo, 16-bit, nadia oxford, evolution, evo

• The Dividing RPG: Secret of Mana

  Squaresoft's Secret of Mana will be coming to Virtual Console this September, probably as Seiken Densetsu 2. It's probably a good thing Square-Enix didn't try to reshuffle the Mana titles when they came to America. Re-numbering Final Fantasy already requires more math than I want to do outside a school setting. (Yes, I was a dunce, and I still am according to expert testimony.) Secret of Mana's VC revival got people a-muttering on message boards and IRC. And I was shocked and appalled to learn that there are people out there who care not for Randi's pastel-coloured adventure to find a giant tree. They called it dated. They called it boring. They called it buggy, and "buggy" is actually being generous. By all programming logic, every copy of Secret of Mana should have imploded on the store shelves. I might be biased. Secret of Mana was my first RPG outside of the Dragon Warrior/DragonQuest series, so it wasn't too hard for me to be blown away by the harrowing story of an orphan who was fathered by a sword. Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 04:00 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: snes, rpg, japan, square-enix, 16-bit, nostalgia, nadia oxford, virtual console, computer ai, seiken densetsu 3, seiken densetsu 2, secret of mana

• Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All.

  Growing up, we all kind of hated the rich kid. Even if he was the sweetest child in the world who only wanted to share his toys and candy and have us come over and play in his hedge maze (remember that episode of Care Bears? If not, silly me, I just made up another euphemism for sex), we'd lapse into an uncomfortable, cringing silence around him, like dogs in the presence of an alpha. When he wasn't around, we'd seethe and hiss in his direction. There are gamers in this world who are similarly intimidated by the existence of our hairy king, Mario. He benevolently brought many of us into this glorious, mind-gelling hobby. He has walked, run and jumped with us since we were children. Thanks to Mushroom Kingdom logic, we have baffled our teachers with adamant declarations about raccoons flying and fireballs bouncing underwater. Just last year, we soared through space with our magic plumber and visited more fantastic planes than the Little Prince. Mario is grand. And that's why the latest Internet fad, in which bloggers call for his retirement, is impotent and sad. I'm still unsure who first decided to make the ill declaration; likely someone desperate to crown himself King Controversy. This time, freelancer Patrick Goss takes the throne and gives us his reasons why Mario should give it all up and open a spaghetti farm. The article is admittedly well-written and free from the venom that usually shoots from the mouths of message board trolls who feel qualified to look down on Shigeru Miyamoto. Still, I feel obligated to counter. Read More... Posted Aug 26 2008, 10:05 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 16 comment(s) Filed under: mario, super mario 64, 8-bit, retro, 16-bit, controversy, nadia oxford, retirement, super mario 2, gamers, super mario, game culture, super mario 3, patrick goss, best of 2008

• Whatcha Listening To: The Earthbound Soundtrack

  I'm in an Earthbound frame of mind these days, which is a good place to be. With the release of the Mother 3 fan translation inching closer and some very pleasant message board conversations that remind me why I actually sacrificed precious naps to play through Itoi's masterpiece, I've taken to thinking about what makes Earthbound special. I could sit here for hours relaying all the reasons (okay, twenty minutes--I type fast), but one of the main reasons warrants its own entry: the music. Earthbound is probably the most underappreciated title in video gaming's short but passionate history. Everything was overlooked: the expressive graphics, the innovative battle system, the emotional story that perfectly balances bizarre fun with a deep, subtle story about growing up and leaving home...and, of course, the music. Earthbound is not a game that can be appreciated with a glance ("God, what baby graphics. Who made them, Crayola?") or a quick listen ("This music is too cutesy"). You're required to experience it from beginning to end. Admittedly, the music took a while to grow on me, but when it did, it hit me like a Mr Saturn to the face. Read More... Posted Aug 25 2008, 07:01 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: snes, earthbound, game music, super nintendo, 16-bit, nostalgia, nadia oxford, whatcha listening to, soundtrack

• TVTropes' "Woolseyisms"

  It's rare that we give much thought to the good men and women who turn our video game text from "YOU LUCKY ARE WINNER!" to something dignified. But where there are exceptions, there is the potential for small wars. By far one of the most controversial names in game translation and localisation is Mr Ted Woolsey. Ted Woolsey translated many of Square-Enix's best-known 16-bit works, including Secret of Mana, Final Fantasy VI and Super Mario RPG. To give you an idea of how divided gamers are over this gentlemen, consider that Woolsey hasn't done any substantial translation work since the death of the Super Nintendo but his name alone makes people jump up and down like testosterone-driven baboons. TV Tropes has a long and rambling Wiki entry about Woolsey, his followers and his haters. For the sake of a quick crash course, Woolsey was (in)famous for adding his own voice to his translations. This "voice" gave us something to smile at in the place of Japanese puns we couldn't understand (except for purists who can't understand why we don't think sound-alike sushi name jokes are funny). His voice also added a good deal of depth to what was, for most of us, an epic story. Final Fantasy II US had an okay thing going with illegitimate moon brothers or whatever, but Final Fantasy III US--or Final Fantasy VI, if you prefer--took on themes that were unheard of and still go largely untouched by RPGs today. Woolsey had to convey Terra's identity crisis, suicide, unwanted pregnancy and the friggin' Apocalypse while keeping the game text family friendly. Oh, and he wasn't allowed to make references to anyone dying, even though Kefka remains the only Square villian who killed people like bugs for the sheer joy of it. Read More... Posted Aug 21 2008, 07:20 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: final fantasy vi, retro, 16-bit, translation, fandom, localization, ted woolsey, controversy

• Ecco the Dolphin: Was This Game Ever Considered Fun?

  I usually don't have any trouble tossing a bad game on the street with a suitcase full of its clothes. But over my long bitter life I've played a handful of games that I desperately want to love, but alas, cannot because they're abusive. But I keep letting them back into my home because I convince myself that maybe they've changed. At the forefront of Team Uneasy is Sega's Ecco the Dolphin. Ecco was an exciting critter to have around in 1992; our generation was gung-ho about saving the Earth and a game about a dolphin was an imaginative idea (because plumbers that don raccoon suits and fly is just a bit mundane). Ecco the Dolphin puts a watery spin on platforming with your main worry being the danger of drowning rather than jumping over bottomless pits. Even the story is compelling (it's a fish story! Ha!). Instead of running down a lost princess, Ecco must find his lost pod, which was sucked up by an ocean-hoovering alien race. Ecco travels through caverns, braves the frigid Arctic waters and studies the ruins of Atlantis before he goes back in time to challenge the dolphin-eaters. I dig dolphins. Dolphins are probably the only species on Earth that enjoy life to the very fullest. I love the idea of a game that lets you dart and frisk around in warm tropical waters because God knows I'm not going to be able to afford a vacation anytime soon. That's where Ecco the Dolphin fails, though: you don't dart, frisk and jump. Actually, you do for one fraction of the opening stage and it's a thrill. Then the Oceanwide Tragedy happens, the music darkens to indicate serious business and suddenly you're creeping slowly through thick herds of jellyfish like a sullen commuter on Monday evening. Read More... Posted Aug 21 2008, 06:01 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: sega, retro, 16-bit, challenge, ecco the dolphin, sea life, dolphins, sega genesis, environment

• The Chrono Trigger Port: Are You Excited or Disappointed?

  Though the 16-bit console wars were savage in the early '90s, the end was in sight by 1995 and the Super Nintendo was crowned the obvious winner. (Except by pouty Genesis fanboys who feebly compared Phantasy Star IV to Final Fantasy VI. I mean, it's a good try, but...nah.) The Genesis was panting and dry-heaving at the finish line, but the Super Nintendo barely broke a sweat. In fact, it looked healthier than ever thanks to an injection of A+ games at the end of its life. One such title was Chrono Trigger, a now-legendary RPG by Square(-Enix). We should all hope for the dignified hero's death that the Super Nintendo recieved thanks to Chrono Trigger's legacy. Read More... Posted Jul 02 2008, 07:30 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: remake, nintendo ds, rpg, chrono trigger, Playstation, square-enix, genesis, chrono cross, luca, port, marle, robo, super nintendo, phantasy star, crono, 16-bit, final fantasy iv, console wars