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• You’re Doing Great, Sega: Space Harrier Returns

  Space Harrier, unlike a lot of Sega’s other arcade games in the mid-80s, was a little light on challenging play. Your little blonde dude and his huge gun flew across the seemingly endless surface of The Fantasy Zone, shooting all kinds of dragons and cycloptic wooly mammoths, but it never quite felt like anything you did had a physical impact on the world. Things exploded when you shot near them but it didn’t ever feel like you were actually causing it to happen. But Yu Suzuki’s debut game stands out in history because it was, and is, staggeringly beautiful. Its scaling sprite graphics were an important landmark on the road to making lush three-dimensional – not true 3D mind you, but close – game worlds. Harrier’s Fantasy Zone is as bizarre and unique a visual space as anything else that came out of Sega (arguably even stranger and more fully realized than Opa Opa’s Fantasy Zone.) It also had some of the most hilarious voiceovers in a game. One of my earliest gaming memories is of a Space Harrier machine repeatedly yelling, “You’re doing great!” in the corner of a Pizza-Hut. It made me laugh so hard, Pepsi came out my nose, and everyone knows that the true test of comedy is whether or not it can make you leak fluid. It’s strange then, considering Sega’s recent penchant for resurrecting their iconic franchises, that Space Harrier has remained untouched for twenty years. The only sign of the series since 1988 was Sega’s arcade shooter Planet Harrier in 2001, an obvious spiritual successor but still not a proper Space Harrier 3. If Tez Okana has his way, Space Harrier won’t stay unloved for long. Read More... Posted Nov 05 2008, 06:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, platinum games, wii, sega, sonic the hedgehog, space harrier, arcade, house of the dead, asttro boy, tez okana, thunder force vi

• Sega "Gets" the Wii

  As previously stated, the Nintendo Wii is just about two years old now, well enough into its life cycle to no longer forgive developers for unfamiliar hardware restrictions and lazy ports (yes, I'm looking at you, Harmonix and Rock Band). Most people still look at the Wii as home of the goofy mini-game collection despite its having also hosted some truly unique and wonderful unloved gems like EA's Boom Blox, Ubisoft's No More Heroes, Capcom's Zack & Wiki and THQ's de Blob. There is one major game publisher, though, who seems hard-pressed to make the Wii completely awesome with a wide range of aggressive titles, and that publisher is (believe it or not) Sega. That's right, longtime Nintendo rival Sega. Kinda makes you wonder why the Dreamcast flopped... Read More... Posted Oct 31 2008, 12:00 PM by Derrick Sanskrit with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boom blox, derrick sanskrit, no more heroes, wii, madworld, the conduit, sega, sonic the hedgehog, zack & wiki, dreamcast, sonic unleashed, sonic and the secret rings, de blob, house of the dead, samba de amigo, nights, sonic and the black knight

• WTFriday: Goldman's Drama Academy

  Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week. I have to apologize because today's WTFriday is more than a little dated; but since my buddy picked up The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return (not exactly a graceful title) for the Wii, I've had Goldman on my mind. Who's Goldman? Why, he's the series' recurring villain, whose plan to "cleanse the world" involves filling it with the most disgusting, abhorrent creatures to not really exist: zombies. But the important thing here is that he's clearly voiced by someone speaking English phonetically. The original Resident Evil tends to come to mind when we think of bad voice acting, but House of the Dead 2 is much, much worse--and rarely ever gets the credit it deserves. Check out the following video and dare to tell me that stuff like "the master of unlocking" is even half as bad the marble-mouthed Goldman: More tips on public speaking after the cut. Read More... Posted Oct 10 2008, 02:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: sega, fmv hell, house of the dead, bob mackey, wtfriday, voice acting

• Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem

  I tend to sound overly pessimistic when talking about the Wii. I happen to love the system. I think the funky little box has quite a lot going for it and it’s given me a handful of unforgettable gaming experiences, with Wii Sports and No More Heroes chief among them. No, I’m not overly pessimistic about the Wii. I’m overly pessimistic about Nintendo. As much as I want to be excited about a new Punch-Out!, I can’t help but look at the facts: Nintendo has released more traditional, hardcore games in the Wii’s first two years than they did in the Gamecube’s first four and all of them, with the exceptions of Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, have been below the gold standard of Nintendo’s internally developed software from generations past. Read More... Posted Oct 02 2008, 07:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 9 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, metroid, nintendo, wii, madworld, zelda, gamecube, fire emblem, super mario bros, punch out, klonoa, fragile, smash bros, house of the dead, oboro muramasa

• Trailer Review: House of the Dead – Overkill

  Back in what kids are calling “the day”, I spent a lot of time in an arcade in State College, Pennsylvania by the name of Playland. Playland was a classic. Made up of four dark, dank rooms lined with cabinets from every era of gaming up to 2003, it reeked of cigarette smoke and pheromones, always overflowing with people, most of them laughing, a few scowling with concentration. Actual fights were rare, heated Street Fighter fights common. It was beautiful like the sun. For most of the year 2000, I had a routine running at Playland. I would head over once class ended at three o’clock, and I would bring one dollar in quarters. Then I would play House of the Dead and see where that dollar got me. Afternoons that year were spent with one arm stretched in front of the cabinet, memorizing when some grizzled undead monstrosity would pop out from behind a specific wall, and getting just a little farther on a single quarter. I never did manage to beat it on one credit (came close,) but it didn’t matter. It was awesome all the same. But not nearly as awesome as House of the Dead’s resurrection in this trailer. Indeed, this trailer may be the awesomest thing I have seen in my life. After watching it, after witnessing this all out zombie brutality, I think I might be suffering from awesome poisoning. Not acute awesome poisoning. Severe. Read More... Posted Aug 19 2008, 05:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, trailer review, wii, sega, headstrong games, house of the dead