So, Zeitgeisty's post about facials sparked a whole heap of something.
Here's my take on it: In my late teens and early twenties, everyone was trying to get laid as often as possible. Some people with one partner, others with whomever picked them up that night. All kinds of sexual practises were spoken of, but the only person I can remember talking about a guy coming in her face was my friend Juliet. It had been done by accident during a session of mutual masturbation and her boyfriend had shot his load further than either one of them anticipated. She took one in the eye. Apparently it stung like merry hell and her eye swelled up.
A friend of mine and I were discussing this the other day. I was regaling her with tales of youporn - more on that at another juncture - and asked her if having someone come in her face would be in any way appealing. (I refuse to write cum, well except there, as it annoys me) Back to the story...
Wot??? Says she.
Oh, it's all the rage now, says I?
It is?
Oh yeah.
Whatever happened to "does she swallow?"
Exactly!
Back in the day, that was THE big question. Men, boys, youths - whatever they were - felt honoured, respected, dare I say loved, if their chick swallowed their particular brand of ambrosia. In fact, there were stages of "acceptance"--some would blow, but the finale would be a hand job. Some would go the distance, but not imbibe and some, and this was what every guy hoped for, would swallow.
That was the pinnacle.
No one was asking to come all over yer face like champagne at the Grand Prix. Neither was anyone trying to pull a Notorious B.I.G and "bust of on they glasses". Jizzing on chicks faces just hadn't become fashionable.
Why not you cry? Because there was no YOUPORN is why! Porn was found in magazines and, to a lesser extent, video. The Internet presumably was alive, but no one had access to it. In other words, porn was not mainstream, Now it is everywhere.
Back then, someones big brother had porno mags, or another bright spark might've found their dad's stash. But no one was buying from the newsagent unless they were 18. Now, every spotty 13 year old has figured out how to circumnavigate parental controls, learned to operate his computer one handed and had a near miss with his keyboard on many an occasion.
And so men attempt to recreate what they've seen in porn movies or what they've heard their mates talk about. They don't want to feel left out. (Men are way more interested in other men's opinions than that of their women. The number one reason for a man to decide to have his penis enlarged is so that he feels more comfortable bearing his flaccid penis in the locker room amongst other straight men. I know of a couple men who would put their fraternity brothers above their wives in a heartbeat. There's a reason it's still a patriarchy.)
Men are proud of their emissions in the exact same way that pre-schoolers are. Mummy, look at my poop!!! Women don't seem to have quite the same attachment to their bodily fluids. I can't imagine waving a blood filled rag in a boyfriends face "look what I can do honey!" You might argue that menstrual blood is a spent substance and not the life creating force that semen is, but if our eggs were displayable, I remain confident that we wouldn't parade them about. Plus, semen is pretty useless once it's out of the body. Those little fuckers don't last long. Yet semen, in the male brain at least, is a magnificent force. A smooth slippery substance to be revered and worshiped.
Maybe it's all bravado, or even an attempt at reverse psychology - men trying to make themselves more integral to the procreation process when, once enough sperm is banked, they are physically somewhat superfluous.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that all women dislike this version of the facial. In fact there are first hand testimonials on the blog from women who think it's sexy. But if the expressions on porn stars are anything to go by, it's certainly not a universal Jones. I've seen faces that wouldn't look out of place if someone was about to be shat on, for example. A distinct narrowing of the eyes and wincing of the jaw.
Bottom line: it amazes me that something as intimate and, mostly, private as sexual practise is dictated to the public and they follow along like lambs to the slaughter. Now repeat after me: baaaaaaa!
And now for my Daily Knob:
(I ripped Daily Knob off Zeitgeisty's Daily Throb obviously. You can choose if you prefer the first or second generation product)
Taylor Hawkins, mostly of Foofighters fame. He of the exceedingly lickable teeth.
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