Amboabe just posted a story about his 45 minute date, which reminded me of one of my recent ones.

 

Here's mine back atcha Amb...

I called my friend T on the way to my date. We'd not spoken for a couple days and so we were just catching up. I told her about the guy I was meeting.

I really don't have a type as far as physical appearance goes, although most of my lovers have been tall, but they generally fall into the creative mould one way or another.  Fashion/graphic/costume/product designers being a theme. A few professors and academics thrown in for good measure. A musician or two. But never a banker or a lawyer or a doctor.

But, I've become disillusioned with the struggling artist or designer hipster in recent years, so was trying things out of my comfort zone.

Hence going out on a date with this guy. A banker. He was the one that contacted me. His emails were succinct, complimentary and interesting enough that I agreed to a date. He was a single parent also, which is kinda rare for Hooksexup and so I thought "why not?".

I hung up with T as I approached the bar. It was 8.02 pm. I checked my watch as I walked in.

I saw him at the bar. He beamed at me, which was great and a bit of a relief. The last thing anyone wants to see is disappointment shadowing someone's face as they greet you. I'd made the mistake of giving his pictures the benefit of the doubt though. There were four posted and, of those, I only found one attractive. I'd foolishly imagined him to be the most like the one that I liked, even though I've learned from experience that this is not a wise plan.

We ordered drinks and set about a conversation. Actually, scratch "conversation" and replace with "interview".

How old are your kids?
What school do they go to?
Is their dad involved?
How often does he see them?
Do they stay with him at weekends?
What about holidays?
Does he pay child support?

It was awful! I answered honestly, but was not so into the idea of being interviewed for the position of his girlfriend. I wanted to tell him that this was all moot because I didn't find him remotely attractive and wouldn't be accepting the position even if it came with health insurance. He was tall and skinny, which I like, but with appalling posture. He couldn't hold his own body up straight and was slumped over the bar. I couldn't see him being very athletic in bed. He also kept complaining about allergies and picking at his nose. Plus there was these questions questions questions.

And he didn't like the answers. I could tell from his demeanour that I was responsible for my children just a little too much of the time. He'd had a 10 year marriage and the routine of it apparently didn't sit well with him.

He told me that he'd never been to Brooklyn. That he dates in Manhattan. That most of his dates were younger than him. He told me that it was a nightmare having his kids over every other weekend. It was SO MUCH WORK. He complained about his ex wife.

I felt like a synchronized swimmer with a fake smile plastered on my face. I needed Vaseline to stop my lips from drying out. Finally, I could stand it no longer and stopped smiling. He slumped a bit more.

I finished my cocktail. He gestured to my glass. "Nah, I don't need another" I said. "I think I'm gonna head home"
"Yeah, me too".
"Thanks for the drink".
"Sure".

We walked out together and he asked me for directions to the train. It was the way I needed to walk and there wasn't a good alternative, so we endured a three block very-small talk stroll to the subway. He gave me an awkward bear hug.

I looked at my watch: 8.52 pm. I walked a few blocks and called T - she said "Oh my God, what happened?? Did you get stood up?"

If only.

My shortest and worst date ever.

(Post your worst date stories here if you'd care to share)

 

By all accounts a Merchant Banker in real life, playing a Merchant on the TV, but he sho looks purty. Justin Chambers.

 

The obligatory back catalogue:

Lesbian Lovers Come Out
Digits
Asymmetrical Knobbage
Cunning Linguist
Cunnilingus
Fabulous at 40
Winehouse Reveals
The Chick Facial File
Mirrors
Confession plus Daily Knob!
Abusive?
Celebrity Confessions: Boy George
Dick Trilogy Part 3
MORE dicks in my inbox
Dicks in your inbox
Read my Sodding Profile!
Hooksexup Confessions: Herpes
The Queen Confesses
The Arse Man Cometh
The Ass Play Chronicles
The Sandwich Blowjob Porn Connection
Bangin Ass
Deformed Dicks
Did I really dream that?
Why I don't date Celebrities
Fashionably late or just a slacker