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Date Machine

Celebrity Confession: Lesbian Lovers

Posted by airheadgenius

It's official, according to Perez Hilton,
THEY'RE OUT! Lohan Confirms Lesbian Relationship!



Apparently they have been a couple for ages, exchanges rings and being seen out and about by all and sundry, but this weekend the announcement was finally made.
They are Americas "new young lesbians". Cute.

Who cares though really?
Before you cry "no one" let's remember one of the significant contributing factors to John Kerry losing the election four years ago. He was in favour of, gasp, civil unions which is just one step away from same sex marriage!
Now maybe the general public can just about stomach Lindsey Lohan and Samantha Ronson, after all they are both good looking enough to fuel many a Republicans lesbian fantasy, and even dear Melissa Etheridge presents an acceptable face of lesbianism, being a family gal and all. But, celebrities can get away with it.
It's a whole different story if Joe Public has to deal with gay parents at PTA meetings, kissing same-sex couples on the subway and the like. Then it's not so cute at all. (According to Joe Public that is. Airheadgenius endorses all manner of sexual practise)

But not everyone is happy with this latest outing. Lindsay's dad is having an attack about it and, according to The Sun, for the most bizarre reason:

"Personally, I think she is dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity!"
The cause of this outburst? Apparently she ran out of toilet paper and, when her attention was alerted to the fact, she suggested that the person use the cardboard roll to wipe their arse.

Now, granted, this does not make her the best host in the world. And it certainly raises questions about her personal hygiene, but "hideous and disgusting representation of humanity"? Seems a bit strong doesn't it?

Would Mr Lohan's feelings have been similar if his daughter had a male fiance and he discovered that he was a bit tardy with the bum wiping? I suspect not.
It's not so much that Ronson's got a smelly arse that's the problem, more that Lohan's likely to have her tongue up it.

Maybe Daddy is just concerned for her health?

And back to spjv's post - I wonder what kind of impact this unsupportive daddy had on Lindsay's choices? Maybe he wasn't such a champion bum wiper either.

 

In honour of the lovely couple, today's Daily Knob features a gay man. What's the diff really? It's not as if I am going to meet him, so if you're jonesing after him, just pretend he's straight. The lovely Rupert Everett.

 



The obligatory back catalogue:

Digits

Asymmetrical Knobbage

Cunning Linguist

Cunnilingus

Fabulous at 40

Winehouse Reveals

The Chick Facial File

Mirrors

Confession plus Daily Knob!

Abusive?

Celebrity Confessions: Boy George

Dick Trilogy Part 3

MORE dicks in my inbox

Dicks in your inbox

Read my Sodding Profile!

Hooksexup Confessions: Herpes

The Queen Confesses

The Arse Man Cometh

The Ass Play Chronicles

The Sandwich Blowjob Porn Connection

Bangin Ass

Deformed Dicks

Did I really dream that?

Why I don't date Celebrities

Fashionably late or just a slacker


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

xcalibur86 said:

He sounds rather bitter, so perhaps it was poor ole Dad-Lohan who was stranded atop Ronson's bowl taking a celebrity-sized dump. Pity neither Ronson nor God could help him out of that situation.

September 24, 2008 3:59 AM

recycledbrooklyn said:

I long for the day when stuff like this isn't news.  

September 26, 2008 8:15 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

OUR BLOGGERS

FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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