I think chemistry is huge.  Everyone likes their sex different -different mood, different moves, etc.  But, I still think socialization can also play a role sometimes, just not in the way you guys want to see it.

I think people who act shy and uncreative in bed are more likely to actually feel bad about themselves or be insecure, than to be thinking they're gods gift to whomever.  (maybe this is more true when women are younger, though, than when they're 30?)

Either way, I think you boys are begging for an equivalent post on all the things men can do to be bad in bed...

8 inches and thick!!!!  Cool, so you actually answered one of those letters that made it through the spam filter!  So when you rubbed that cream on, how come it didn't make your hands grow too?  

"Yet all MY readers from the blog a log, are nothing but courteous and insightful as far as their contributions to ALL the bloggers here... "

I don't know who this was addressed to, but, I distinctly recall some of your readers both from the previous blog and this one, insulting other bloggers rather nastily.

"Toluca, I did say that the 25% rule was NOT gender specific... I've heard a LOT of horror stories from my female friends about how bad some guys are in the sack.."

Oh I believe you, and I thought your intention was to be fair.  I just feel like the female bloggers owe the portion of the audience that might /not/ be aware some details...

Man mistakes that signal the end of the affair:

1.  Pie Eating Contest (smashing one's face in it and loosing control-an unwelcome level of enthusiasm).

2.  Choking!  Musicians on coke (whom, when I was younger, I naively thought were just energetic intellectuals who enjoyed talking all night!) seemed to have a penchant for wrapping their hands around my neck.

3.  "The Performer" watches a lot of porn and likes to cast partners in a squalid retelling of his favorite feature.  This fellow is more groomed than necessary and miscalculates the face shot as a side-of-the-head-dripping-into-the-ear shot.  

Oh yeah, one more thing. I don't think age per se makes someone better in bed, but being more self-confident and less willing to subsume one's personality in order to be liked (which often seems to come with age) **does** tend to make one better in bed. When you know what you like, what you don't like, and what some interesting options might be, and aren't afraid to ask (politely), or even say no, I think you're a better lay.

I totally agree that you don't **have** to be older, but judging from my enormous focus group of one (well, plus some friends and lovers and whatnot), sometimes just those intervening years of getting comfortable with oneself can help one be less afraid of rejection. Plus you've tried asking for something you want that might be a little atypical and either had the person say yes, or had them say no and the world didn't end with people pointing at you on the street and whispering "Her! That's the one! The girl who likes to be choked and fucked in the ass!" Or even if they did, you realize it doesn't really matter. Some people seem to reach this level of sexual self-confidence without years of trial and error (hell, my boyfriend is 22 and he's one of the most open, self-accepting perverts I've ever met.) Some of us it takes a littler longer.

Believe it or not (I didn't at first!) some people do like that vicious masticating and chomping. Shocking, I know. Oh yeah, and Z did you know some of us like getting our hair pulled too?? The wonders just don't cease.

I think ownership is key.  I mean how many people just expect to be good (or hope it will be adequate) and blame their partner if it isn't?  I think both kind of show up at the gates without much forethought (other than getting it) and expect to step through to heaven (or other religiously correct blissful place)

The single biggest improvement in sex with any of my partners wasn't that she necessarily 'improved' (skill wise) in bed but that she wanted it.  Wanted it enough to grab, pull, push, grind... the intensity, the passion, it was incredible.

Sure - you might say this is being well matched, or grooves, or confidence... but I think it's more accountability to the act.  Really - it's that great sex doesn't just happen - you have to want it to and make it happen.  Own it baby :-)

True enough... I was really having trouble breaking this thought away from being bits of all three so tried to make it it's own thing.  [or perhaps I just don't want to admit any incompatibility given some of the great play ;-) ]

yes finally someone said it!!!  I hate it when girls will get insulted when you try and suggest that there is something wrong with their technique.

One thing that has worked for me is to ask for suggestions on my technique that way when I tell them something it seems like we are exchanging likes/dislikes rather than me putting her down.