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  • In Defense of the QTE: Ninja Blade



    Now that the man’s winding down his career, let us honor Yu Suzuki for his most important contribution to game design: the QTE. Hey now. I can hear you rolling your eyes. We might be sick of pressing the X button every single time Crystal Dynamics wants Lara Croft to kick a tiger with style, but the quick time event provides us with some of videogames’ most satisfying thrills. They aren’t inherently bad. They’re just implemented very, very poorly. This week, you’ll be able to walk out into the world and pick up a copy of From Software’s Ninja Blade. Hell, you can go home right now and download a demo of Ninja Blade just to have a taste. One level is all you need to exemplify just how good quick time events can be in a game.

    Here’s why.

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  • Discount Friday Gaming Deals

     

    If you're a frugal--or in my case, incredibly cheap--gamer with a working PC, then you probably know that Friday is a very special day. Yes, in some cases, Friday is payday, but more importantly, the last day before the weekend always means amazing deals from Steam and Good Old Games, which both do an excellent job of getting me to buy games I won't have time to play until 2019. If you're willing to forego a cheap lunch or an expensive coffee, you may also find yourself with far too much gaming on your hands, as this week's bargains are especially sweet.

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  • The All New Retro: Bust-a-Groove and Low-Poly Love



    I won’t deny it. My gaming tastes are a little unusual. Take my emulation aversion. Does a normal person spend months and months tracking down a rare and expensive cheat device so they can play an imported SNES game when they could download a ROM and SNES emulator in about ten seconds? No. This is not how a normal person behaves. As I slowly morph into something approximating an adult, I’ve been noticing another strange predilection in my gaming brain: a love of low-polygon graphics.

    Some games do not age with grace. Their mechanics, and especially their graphics, develop the distinct taste of vinegar when they used to be wine just five years before. Yet the games of the 32- and 64-bit era, games that I thought were repulsive even at the time, are starting to take on a strange allure.

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  • Jerking Your Fans Around



    Console exclusivity; to gain sole rights to that singular game with hopes for drawing in the crowds. Game and franchise exclusives have been part of the strategy to gain fan following since the first video game machines began competing. In the early days, consoles had pretty distinct catalogs. It was easy to determine what games would appear on what systems and pick where to spend your dollars. These days almost everything not developed by a first or second party is cross platform (for the moment, we will be ignoring the Wii which plays by its own rules). However, don't think for a moment that exclusivity is a thing of the past, it has merely evolved into a new, sinister form.

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  • Millions of Disappointing Tomb Raider Sales for Eidos

    Tomb Raider: Underworld was one of those games I was a little bummed about missing out on over the busy 2008 holiday season. I'd pretty much abandoned the series after the second installment, but flirting with both Tomb Raider: Legend and Anniversary over the past few years proved to me that the series might once again deserve my full attention. Because I was without some sort of device used to stop time, though, my winter break was filled to the brim with other games, some of which I really shouldn't have been playing. So I couldn't help but feel guilty after hearing multiple reports on podcasts, blogs, and websites about the disappointing sales of Underworld; did my lack of care doom this underdog series to an undeserved death, just when it was getting good again? Well, according to Gamasutra, the rumors of Tomb Raider: Underworld's retail death have been greatly exaggerated:

    Although Eidos previously admitted disappointment with Tomb Raider: Underworld’s sales, the title racked up 2.6 million unit sales in the period, with a faster rate of sell-through than either Tomb Raider: Legend or Tomb Raider: Anniversary.

    It's unclear what exactly Eidos would consider "not disappointing," but it's safe to assume at this point that Tomb Raider: Underworld has made a very healthy profit--unless they happen to be supplying their development team with an endless supply of cocaine and high-class prosititutes.

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  • If This is True, RIP Eidos

     

    The Silicon Valley Insider reports on a rumor that Lara Croft may be shedding some clothing in order to boost sales in upcoming installments in the longsuffering Tomb Raider franchise.

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  • Pitying Lara, or How to Make a Million Seller and Still Get Fired

     

     

    There’s a whole lot that bothers me about the layoffs at Crystal Dynamics that went down recently. There’s the fact that it seemed like nobody could muster up any enthusiasm for Tomb Raider: Underworld—a marketing problem. Then there’s the fact that, despite it selling 1.5 million copies, it “underperformed” according to Eidos—a problem with the bean counters who apparently couldn’t see that the enthusiasm for the game just wasn’t there. So of course there’re layoffs at the developer, who made a game that…well, reviewers couldn’t decide if it was better or worse than Legend, but that in and of itself is a high compliment. From where I’m standing, it looks like only one group in the equation did their job, yet they’re the ones being thrown out into the vast expanse of misery that is the early 2009 job market.

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  • Irrational Gaming Fears

    As I've pointed out in the past, I'm a huge gaming wuss--though I like to think I'm much better than I used to be. This particular brand of cowardice started very early in my gaming life, with a system that probably didn't instill fear in anyone aside from stockholders: the Atari 2600.  It was the abstract, blocky representations within these simple games that played hell upon my young mind.  Sure, a dragon usually ended looking like a duck on the system's puny hardware, but to the boundless imagination of a young child, that duck's about to leap off the screen and peck out your heart.

    One 2600 game terrified me so much that I actually had to hide it: Berzerk. Maybe it was the killer robots, maybe it was the creepy, tense atmosphere--but I'd break out into a cold sweat anytime it was near. And to make me look even more pathetic, the commercial for Berzerk featured an octogenarian and her small grandson playing the game with absolutely no reservations.



    Note: This is the one time I felt a sassy grandma was not nearly sassy enough.

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  • Klonoa: Careful, Namco. You Tread On My Dreams.

    I’m not a purist. No, really. When it comes to classics being revisited, modernized, or remade, I don’t need every facet of the past perfectly preserved just the way I remember it in order to get a desperate nostalgic thrill. I delight in Mega Man 9 because it’s a great game whose presentation and technological limitations are carefully made design choices, not because it’s a new NES game. I’ll let you in on a secret: I actually like Mega Man 7 and 8. Yeah, that’s right. I think they’re good games. Not as good as their forebears, but all the same. When the new Bionic Commando was announced last year, even before Rearmed was revealed, I didn’t balk at Radd Spencer’s Adam-Duritz-makeover. I think the new look is cool, especially the way his dreads flow behind him like delicate willow branches as he soars through dystopian cityscapes and… oh! Excuse me. What I’m getting at is that not everything from yesterday is sacred. Some things, especially in games, should be changed. Final Fantasy III DS is a good thing. The NES original is just too slow now. Tomb Raider Anniversary preserves a revolutionary game’s best qualities while also making it, you know, playable. In with the new, out with the old may not be an all-encompassing maxim, but it’s more often than not good advice.

    That said, Namco, if you go through with this, I will hurt you.

    The Raw Meat Cowboy himself over at GoNintendo received a survey from Namco-Bandai today, the subject of which was their impending Wii remake of Klonoa: Door to Phantomile. RMC has smartly inferred that Namco is testing the waters to see if Klonoa should be localized for North America. One of the questions in the survey asks which of these two character designs is preferable.

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  • The Videogame Ages, part 2

    In part one of The Videogame Ages, I discussed the inadequacy of “generation” language in gaming, and laid out The Golden Age of gaming. In part two, I look at the Silver and Bronze ages before taking a look at the modern era and the future.

    The Silver Age – 1983 to 1996 8-Bit, 16-Bit, Early Handheld, Early 3D, Advanced PC and Arcade

    The silver age of games is defined by expansion, in not just playability but breadth of experience. When home computers became affordable and home consoles began diversifying, games started transforming from immediate, single-mechanic experiences into more lasting forms. Silver age games were still about escalating challenge, but high scores ceased being the goal, replaced by definitive endings. Games started becoming more explicitly narrative-driven, as aesthetic justification on consoles and as the focus of many PC games (see the entire adventure game genre.) Portable gaming also started to rise to prominence during this period, early single-screen LCD games replaced by multi-game consoles like the Game Boy and Atari Lynx. Arcade and PC game technology pulled far away from home consoles, but all games were shifted from the rough visual abstraction of golden age games, into more aesthetically recognizable presentations – albeit still cartoonish impressionistic rather than realistic. The rise of polygonal 3D graphics, both real-time full 3D (Yu Suzuki’s Virtua series) and pre-rendered (Myst, etc.), at the end of the silver age marks the transition to bronze. In 1996, with the release of Mario 64, Tomb Raider, and Quake, the silver age comes to a close.

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  • The Videogame Ages, part 1



    This past Friday, I tried to slip a little piece of language into a discussion about game emulation that I was wary about using at all. At this point, the go-to boundaries for discussing videogames’ admittedly small history is console-technology generations. We say 8-Bit or 16-Bit because these are easy identifiers based on competing, contemporary technologies. But the language “The 8-Bit Generation” doesn’t account for arcade technology, PC games, or portable gaming. Now that Bob Dvorak’s Tennis for Two is officially fifty years-old, I think we can finally start applying broader terms to gaming’s evolutionary eras. Obviously history is fluid, and chances are these classifications won’t hold true in 2050, but for now they work. The Hesiodic ages, as laid out here, consider games on every platform; the rigid parameters of home consoles, the advanced nature of PC and Mac gaming throughout the 1980s and ‘90s, the fast strides made by arcade technology throughout that same period, and the predominantly inferior technology available in handheld gaming. Unlike Hesiod’s Ages of Man, however, the videogame ages are (mostly) a positive progression. Please note: these are not strict definitions. This is a discussion, and I want everyone to make their opinions heard in the comments section. Now then, onward to the Golden Age.

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  • The Uncanny Valley: Tomb Raider and Lara Croft Are Starting to Freak Me Out

    The world has seen a lot of Lara Croft. Back in the mid-90s, it was downright hard to avoid videogames’ so-called first sex symbol and even more difficult after the Angelina Jolie “films” started coming out in 2001. Lara as ridiculous-looking-game-character has always been more of an icon than Lara as actual-human-being. Of course, that hasn’t stopped Tomb Raider’s publisher Eidos from paying models to dress up like her from the beginning. It was pretty silly back in 1996; Lara Croft looked more like the freakish offspring of Barbie and a Dire Straits video than a woman. The only thing the model had in common with the character were guns and leotard. But as technology has advanced, and photos of models have gotten more photoshopped, over the past twelve years, the real and fake Lara’s have been getting more and more similar in appearance.

    Frankly, it’s starting to freak me the hell out.

    Let’s take a look at the eight Laras that coincide with the soon-to-be eight Tomb Raider games. See if it freaks you out too.

    Here’s Katie Price in 1996 for Tomb Raider 1. Like I said, pretty silly.

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  • Gamepro Feature Mourns The Loss Of Mammaries

     

    "Top __________ Whatevers" lists are the lifeblood of games journalism, so Gamepro's decision to squeeze out a roster of the Eight Worst Game Character Remakes is not surprising.

    Some of the entries are pretty expected, too. Maskless Scorpion from Mortal Kombat 3 is a no-brainer, and I'm sure a few psychologists would have a field day analysing Bomberman's re-design for Bomberman: Act Zero.

    I'm not as impressed with some of the other selections. In fact, their write-up for Tomb Raider's Lara Croft gave me a big frowny face. I'm afraid I'm going to have to be one of "those" women for a second.

    From the feature:

    "To prove that Tomb Raider's iconic female archaeologist is more than just a top heavy Englishwoman in hiking boots, the series' developers forced their lovely protagonist to undergo a drastic surgical procedure. In Tomb Raider Legend, Lara emerged equipped with what could be compared to tangerines in place of what was once more akin to honeydews. But the game was good, and that's all that matters... right?"

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  • The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial, Part 3

    Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!



    We cite Punch-Out!! here not for
    starring Mike Tyson (a controversial figure, even before his rape conviction), but for the degree to which it epitomizes a trend that would dominate gaming in the late-'80s and early-'90s: the "beat up stereotypes from around the world" gameplay model. Granted, most of Punch-Out!!'s characters are too ludicrous to really offend; it's hard to imagine Pacific Islanders getting all up in arms about King Hippo being kind of a jackass. That said, the sight of cross-eyed Piston Honda babbling "Sushi, Kamikaze, Fujiyama, Nipponichi!" as a mid-match battle cry is a little unsettling. — PS

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  • The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial, Part 2

    Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare



    Call of Duty 4 is a game obsessed with realism, its depiction of combat situations and the tools of war meticulous to an almost terrifying degree. Early in the game, you are placed in the gunner’s seat of an AC-130 Spectre over a Ukrainian field, the night vision view of an aerial assault looking no different than an Iraq war newscast, the radio confirmation of kills unsettlingly casual; a game so realistic that it mimics a soldier’s detachment from killing. It’s strange then that the game, for all its incessant specificity, sends the player to kill Arab soldiers in “the Middle East”, and not an actual nation. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare has sold over seven million copies in a war-weary United States in under a year. Am I the only one who finds this sort of depersonalization unsettling? — JC

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  • The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial, Part 1

    Games have been raising hackles since their inception. Howell Ivy kick-started gaming and controversy’s relationship when he designed Death Race in 1976, a simple black and white game that was, well, about running people over for points. That was enough to get America riled up, prompting 60 Minutes to run the first of many, many televised news stories about the psychological effects of gaming. But public outrage is unpredictable. Politicians and parent groups have been shocked by d-list titles like Manhunt and Night Trap while more popular, widely played games with far more inflammatory content have passed by unnoted. Today, 61 Frames Per Second presents The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial. A number of these are games that we are surprised did not cause uproar in a number of communities. The rest are games that we ourselves find seriously questionable in content. How do you feel about these videogames? Indifferent? Appalled? Leave a comment and let us know. — John Constantine

    NARC



    I don't know about you, but I have at least a couple of friends who have occasionally sold drugs. They're pretty lucky they grew up in the relatively permissive '90s, and not in the merciless, Reaganite '80s presented in NARC. Sure, NARC gives you bonus points for arresting dealers instead of killing them, but that's because it's almost impossible to do. Far easier is just perforating them on the spot. As my fellow blogger Cole notes, "I guess dismembering hundreds is okay if they're pushin'." In fact, there was some parental outrage over NARC's unprecedented level of gore, but its moral assumptions went pretty much unchallenged. — Peter Smith

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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