Truth.

You say whats on your mind with no bullshit in between. You speak the truth, always. Thats one of the things I love most about you.

TRUTH is hard to come by, and worth settling for if you ever find it. That's not banal to me, that's real, and that's passion baby.

I don't think commitment-phobia is a myth so much as I think people are often incorrectly labeled commit-phobic. I've been called such and it couldn't be further from the truth.  But is there a nice way to say, honey, I'm not afraid of commitment.  I just don't want to commit to YOU.  

Misrepresenting oneself as being into it is wrong... But I believe settling for contentment is wrong too... unless you're...well, content with being content.  Personally I think it would be nice to be more than content if you're going to stick with a person.  

Overall though, I think it's self-defeating to have big expectations.  It's really easy to crush the life out of a good relationship by trying to nail things down, shack up and play house and make eternal promises.  Folks need to let it flow and it often happens one person gets to a certain place and insists their partner be right there with them... sometimes it just requires patience.  

I'm not saying a person should always stick it out.  There often comes a point where you know the limitations.  If your understanding of those limitations isn't in line with the other person, i.e. they're putting together seating arrangements, you really have to think about doing the right thing, and that's laying it on the line.  Just saying though that too many people try to sew up the total package all at once.

Mr. Z's article translation:  I'm earnestly in love with my girlfriend and want to settle down with her but I'm also needing to rationalize these emotions to quell a larger fear: truth-filled domesticity will never equal the pulsating thrill of fiery, unstable, soul-shattering relationships.  

As a woman in her thirties with similar anxieties, I find former crash-and-burn passions too exhausting and have taken to romanticizing aforementioned terror traps of middle age.  The other day I sat on a rocking chair on the front porch offhandedly complaining of a sore ankle while my fiance read Smithsonian on the stoop.  All we needed to be 100 years old was a shawl and corncob pipe!  Somehow the newness of this excited me.  

Happy Birthday, Pops!  

New experiences are fun, having the same person to look back at those new experiences is funner (sic)

I think this is half right.  

I agree there are many people who are labeled commitment phobes who are really deep down inside needing something different that they won't let themselves have.

But I think there are those who are self destructive and find reasons to kill a good thing (not commit) due to some un-resolved issue or unjustified fears.

(BTW - @recycledbrooklyn, you sound like a commitment phobe :-) ... stop with the justifications... you are more likely to get something you are open to, and more likely to part from things that don't get you there, including your excuses, when you truly want that commitment)