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• Give Super Punch-Out a Chance

  I've been talking about Punch-Out a lot this week, from blogging about the new Wii update yesterday to gabbing about it on the Stand Under the Don't Tree and Riddle Me This podcast on Tuesday (episode release forthcoming). In fact, I've had so much Punch-Out on the brain that I happened to overlook the fact that one of my favorite games of all time, Super Punch-Out, saw a Virtual Console release this Monday. And now that I no longer have to play Sophie's Choice when it's time to decide which Wii Channel needs to die for the sake of a new download, you can bet I was beating the living snot out of large, cartoonish boxers as soon as humanly possible. I've come to observe that Super Punch-Out is mostly unknown and unloved, especially when compared to its iconic little brother--a cultural touchstone for anyone growing up in the 80s (I guess we all wanted to beat up Mike Tyson). But when you strip away the nostalgia, Super Punch-Out is actually a much better game. Read More... Posted Apr 02 2009, 07:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, wii, snes, punch out, super nintendo, bob mackey, virtual console, super punch out

• Why I'm Excited For What WiiWare Could Soon Become

  Even though it was a firmware update that pretty much everybody called well over a year ago, it was still pretty exciting to see that SD Card channel go live on the Wii yesterday. Almost everyone who has downloaded more than one game from the Wii Shop Channel has felt the aggravation of having to "clean out the fridge" at some point, and with the twenty minutes of rearranging necessary for me to download the long-awaited Bit.Trip Beat last week, I was pretty much pissed at my favorite little white box. Getting home from work yesterday to see its inviting blue glow, I just wanted to hug the Wii and tell it that everything was going to be alright now. First, I could happily move my Virtual Console and WiiWare games to the SD card without worrying about forgetting them forever. Then I could reinstall the Nintendo Channel and the Wii Fit channel I had to delete to make room for World of Goo. Ooh, and then I could finally install that Mario Kart Wii channel I'd been putting off. And then I can finish that game of Paper Mario I had to remove from the Wii when I downloaded Tetris Party! Having access to these games without taking up precious system memory was not only liberating but a revelation. Read More... Posted Mar 26 2009, 10:00 AM by Derrick Sanskrit with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, derrick sanskrit, wii, wiiware, virtual console, demo

• Everything You Need to Know About the Wii Storage Solution

  As we’ve said, one of Nintendo’s big reveals at GDC today is the long, long awaited solution to the Wii’s storage woes. It's so obvious it's not even worthy of a condescending drum roll: it’s just the ability to load Virtual Console and WiiWare games off an SD card. Could someone please explain to me why this took two years to roll out? From today’s Nintendo GDC keynote, we know that this solution adds 32GB SDHC card support and is implemented via an SD card menu that looks a lot like the Wii menu. But I’ve been playing with it, and so have all the extra little details after the jump. This might be rather fine data for something as pedestrian as a storage solution, but don’t blame me: Nintendo has given me way too long to think about what I want from this. Here’s the breakdown: There’s load time. The Wii still can’t actually load games in-place off the SD card; instead it has to copy them to system memory temporarily, and then load it. This means you will be twiddling your thumbs while the copy takes place, and on a big game like Sin & Punishment this load can be nearly twenty seconds long. Read More... Posted Mar 25 2009, 01:50 PM by Joe Keiser with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: wii, wiiware, virtual console, joe keiser, gdc 2009, storage, fridge, sdhc

• GDC News: Final Fantasy to Hit Virtual Console

  Fans of the old-school Final Fantasy games haven't exactly gotten the best treatment in recent years; while ports and remakes of the early games have been available in abundance, those looking for a faithful retro RPG experience have had to turn to expensive eBay copies (with possibly non-functioning batteries) or emulation to get their fix. After all, if Square can charge $30-$40 for revivals of their past hits, what incentive do they have to offer much cheaper version of these games on services like the Wii's Virtual Console? Well, it looks like Square-Enix has had a change of heart--or they've just initiated the final stage in their "milking fans dry" plan--with Nintendo President Satoru Iwata's announcement that the famous franchise will indeed be hitting Nintendo's digital download service. Read More... Posted Mar 25 2009, 01:40 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, final fantasy, retro, satoru iwata, bob mackey, virtual console, gdc 2009

• Dear Virtual Console: No More Alex Kidd Games, Please

  It's incredibly easy to bitch about Virtual Console, especially when you consider all of the notable games currently missing from Nintendo's digital download service. We're nearly two-and-a-half years into the life of the Wii, and still, no Yoshi's Island, no Majora's Mask, and no Earthbound. Yes, I went there; and I'd go back again if I had to. The absence of games that desperately need to be made available to Wii owners only becomes more tragic on the weeks when, like a turd sliding down the leg of a homeless man, the powers that be decide to release titles that should never be remembered, even in disgust. Ladies and gentlemen, with this week's selection of Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars, we are coming dangerously close to having the tracksuit-wearing monkey-boy's entire catalog available to a contemporary audience, and that ain't right. Read More... Posted Mar 09 2009, 03:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, sega, sonic the hedgehog, alex kidd, bob mackey, virtual console

• Question of the Day: Ogre Battle and How Much Tutorial is Too Much?

  Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen hit Wii’s Virtual Console today. This is good for a variety of reasons. Quality Virtual Console releases are a rarity here in the far flung future of 2009. Ogre Battle is rare itself; its two English releases tend to fetch a pretty penny on Ebay. I’ve never played Yasumi Matsuno’s first foray into dense fantasy opera, so I’m looking forward to checking it out on the cheap. My history with the Ogre series is confined to Ogre Battle 64. OB64 was one of the only N64 games I ever owned and I spent many, many hours playing it in the spring of 2001. I had almost no idea what I was doing. OB64 throws you into the deep end as soon you start, burying you under a mountain of circuitous cutscenes and leaving you to figure out its blend of TRPG and RTS play on your own. I was pretty proud of myself for getting thirty hours into OB64 without a guide. That is, until I read a FAQ and found out about the nearly endless number of stats you have to consider if you want to actually see the game’s ending. Nothing in the game tells you about party loyalty or how to measure a unit’s leadership potential. Nothing in the game even indicates that these are things you’re supposed to account for. I love it when a game trusts me to learn how to play. I think that’s why people have responded so well to Retro Game Challenge. Even beyond its Famicom devotionals, the games trust you to learn their rules through play. Nothing is more frustrating than turning on a game and having to sit through an hour of tutorials, forcing you to plod through poorly acted scenes of someone telling you to press X to jump. By the same token, games like Ogre Battle are so complex that you need to have an in-game guide to teach you their rules by example. Read More... Posted Mar 02 2009, 05:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, wii, snes, Playstation, n64, super nintendo, virtual console, Retro game challenge, question of the day, square enix, tactics ogre, nintedo 64, ogre battle 64, march of the black queen, ogre battle, yasumi matsuno

• Unsolicited Scares: Threed, Zombie Central

  All this talk about Earthbound and related disappointments made me hungry for a Skip Sandwich DX. I ate the sandwich with a mayo packet and began remembering what parts of Earthbound I liked best. Earthbound is an unsettling game for a number of reasons. First, the party consists entirely of kids, and even though kids have a deserved reputation for never shutting up, Ness and his pals are quiet, stoic and very much focused on the task at hand. Second, the threat they're up against is ethereal, but Giygas' influence on the grown-up world is unmistakable: adults' greed is amplified, corruption amongst authorities is rampant, and there's that one town with the whole cult thing going on. The third and possibly most potent reason for Earthbound's dark humour is its masterful blending of innocent colour and mood-setting music. If something bad is going down in a scenario, the sound will tell you before the visuals do. Any game that starts you off investigating an unidentified falling object in the dead of night with disjointed alien percussion as background music is a game that's not going to deliver warm fuzzies if it doesn't bloody well feel like it. Obviously, Earthbound isn't meant to make your heart stop at any one moment—final battle excluded, maybe—but I've come to think of the party's visit to the town of Threed as Resident Evil Crayola.. Zombies and ghosts have taken over the city, but they're pretty goofy looking critters (less so with Handsome Tom and Smilin' Sam; sorry, I hate puppets). Even so, the darkness surrounding the town is oppressive, and the background music hardly indicates that Ness and Paula are attending a kids' Halloween party. Read More... Posted Feb 19 2009, 05:26 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: snes, rpg, earthbound, game music, retro, 16-bit, nadia oxford, virtual console, unsolicited scares, threed

• Retro Game Achievements: An Awesome Idea

  So, most of us are knee-deep in Retro Game Challenge at this point--and if you're not, I think it's time to seriously step back and reexamine your life. That being said, had RCG simply been a showcase of eight retro-style games, it would merely be great; the games within are solid genre homages worth playing in their own right. But the framing device and window-dressing of the whole package amps it up way past awesome. And what I've come to appreciate most about RGC's games are the "achievements" established by Arino himself throughout, since they've given me more of an incentive than normal to play the majority of relatively-simple games featured in RGC. Without some sort of achievements or leaderboards, games where I'm getting a high score for the sake of getting a high score usually leave me completely unmotivated and a bit sleepy, which is why I think the goals enforced upon the player in RCG could easily be added to older (or retro-style) games to give them new life. Read More... Posted Feb 18 2009, 06:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: wii, retro, bob mackey, virtual console, Retro game challenge, nintendo 64

• Abandon All Hope: No Earthbound for the Virtual Console

  The Mother/Earthbound fandom is the loudest on the Internet. It's also the unluckiest. Earthbound was a commercial failure on the SNES. Mother 3 just ain't never gonna doggy-paddle its way here (officially). The first Mother game was dressed up for America, but was pulled at the last minute. And now it's looking like Earthbound won't be granted its long-awaited heroes' rest on the Virtual Console. “Oh God. What now?” The problem is beautiful in its irony: because it's such a thorough, loving tribute to the best and most creative bits of pop culture, Earthbound is also a fat target for copyright lawyers, IP theft paranoia and the bureaucracy bred by the same culture (that's irony, right? Right?). Earthbound's soundtrack alone uses a lot of samples from other songs, from The Who to the Monty Python theme. Shigesato Itoi makes no secret about his love for the Beatles, with John Lennon's “Mother” being not only the series' namesake, but its very foundations. Unfortunately, Apple Corps' sense of humour is about as sharp and attractive as a wet dish rag. Every IP lawyer in the world carries a list in his or her pocket that's titled, “I'm Just Not Going To Fuck With This,” and Apple Corps is on the top of each list. Read More... Posted Feb 16 2009, 11:14 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 9 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, wii, snes, rpg, earthbound, mother 3, nadia oxford, mother, virtual console, pop culture, shigesato itoi

• Club Nintendo Is a Little Greedy

  For years, Americans have heard of the joys and wonders of Club Nintendo, Nintendo's (duh) in-house loyalty rewards program, but until very recently we've never been able to reap the benefits. Even after hearing about all of the awesome goodies our Japanese friends were getting, I was a bit skeptical about Club Nintendo; through the mid-to-late 90s, I amassed enough "Capcom Points" to buy the company three times over, only to find them abandoning the program as soon as I wanted to spend said points. So when the American version of Club Nintendo went live, I was more than positive that there was something inherently ripoff-ish about the whole thing. And I was certainly sad when I turned out to be right. Let's get a few things straight; getting something for nothing is always good, and appreciated. However, when only about 10% of your purchases are actually recognized for point-earning goodness, it's more than a little irritating. Read More... Posted Jan 13 2009, 12:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, wii, bob mackey, virtual console, club nintendo

• Castlevania III: Dracula's Reign Ends, Sypha's Baby Factory Opens

  When I was a kid, I ate crayons while I was supposed to be tested for giftedness, I lost interest in achieving the honour roll when I found out it wasn't covered with sticky frosting, and I could never understand why grown-ups got so uppity if I was wearing my shirt backwards (still can't). But I finished Castlevania III all by myself, without cheating, and I'm still damn proud of that. It remains one of about two games both my husband and I played as kids, but only I've completed. I've only finished the game with Grant as my aide, mind you. Even my childlike stupidity and gullibility had its limits. “Ha ha,” I said as I watched the credits scroll, “I am never doing this again!” Ah, but it looks like I will with the help of the Virtual Console. Once I get my platforming legs back, I'd like to try and finish the game with Sypha. I've seen her ending already thanks to the modern magic of YouTube, but it still fascinates me. The second Dracula dies, the schmatte covering Sypha's head falls off on cue and Trevor's like, “Holy shit, Imma touch this bitch.” And he does. Read More... Posted Jan 12 2009, 09:45 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, nes, konami, castlevania, 8-bit, retro, castlevania iii, nadia oxford, virtual console, trevor belmont, sypha

• Virtual Console New Year's Resolutions

  Inevitably, any post you read anywhere about Virtual Console releases is going to contain some passive-aggressive bitching about what's still not available on Nintendo's digital download service. But I'm not saying that I don't do it, or that it's not undeserved; we're currently in the third year of weekly releases, and there are still some pretty big gaps in the Virtual Console library. So, as a public service to Nintendo, I've decided to offer some suggestions for titles we definitely want to see released on the Virtual Console in 2009; for my sake, consider them New Year's Resolutions.  It was the easiest framing device to come up with for this concept. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - The much-maligned Majora's Mask is the bastard son of the Legend of Zelda franchise; released just when PS2 fever was at its most insane levels, this installment in one of Nintendo's most-beloved series left a bad taste in the mouths of gamers who really just wanted to play more Ocarina of Time.  But those who were so quick to judge the time mechanic and oppressive atmosphere of Majora's didn't stick around to find out that it was just the kind of shake-up the Zelda series needed.  So far, the only way to play it on the Wii is through a buggy Zelda collection disc bundled with GameCubes circa 2003; and really, I think it's time for a modern audience to get their mitts on this game. Read More... Posted Jan 06 2009, 04:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: wii, castlevania 3, earthbound, bob mackey, virtual console, majora’s mask, super punch out

• Boogerman: Too Immature for Children

  Yesterday's Virtual console release of the Genesis Boogerman was more than a little odd, mainly because everyone knows that the SNES version is the definitive Boogerman experience. No, wait. Yesterday's Virtual Console release of Boogerman was more than a little odd because it's hard to believe that Nintendo would ever admit this game existed--which may be why they chose to give us the Genesis version. I'd be willing to go on with the standard course of Virtual Console bitching--like how we still don't have Yoshi's Island--but Nintendo's holiday Wii offerings are so meager that I imagine they'll have to find some way of entertaining us this Christmas. I hope. But what is there to be said about a game whose very concept should have been buried in the desert along with all of those infamous E.T. cartridges?  I was 12 when Boogerman came out, which put me right in the game's "immature adolescent" demographic.  But seeing the game (unrented) at my local video store usually filled me with a mix of sadness and shame I have since dubbed "boogermania;" and this really had nothing to do with the fact that I've always had the mentality of a 48 year-old curmudgeon.  There was just something about a corporate-sponsored video game capitalizing on the simple joys of toilet humor that really rubbed me the wrong way.  And even at a young age, I could tell when a concept was just trying waaay too hard. Read More... Posted Nov 25 2008, 11:00 AM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, katamari damacy, interplay, virtual console, grimm, boogerman

• Game Compilations: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

  Time was, I thought game compilations, museum, and anniversary collections, and anything else you’d want to call them were the cat’s meow. Greatest thing since sliced bread. The *ahem* tits. Then The Mega Man Anniversary Collection for Gamecube came out back in 2004. Fifty simoleons for all eight console Mega Man games plus an opportunity to finally play Mega Man: The Power Battle and Power Fighters? Sounds like a dream come true. Then I found out that instead of the A button making the little blue fella shoot and the B button making him jump, the buttons were reversed for the compilation. There is no way to change this control scheme. It turns playing Mega Man 1 through 6 into a personalized hell, the place where cheat code users go when they die. Compilations are dangerous business because, more often than not, the publisher puts no effort whatsoever into them and people buy them anyway. That’s how you end up with Mega Man’s jumping and shooting getting reversed, how Sega releases not one, but two Sonic the Hedgehog collections with fantastic unlockables that are almost impossible to unlock, and how Namco can release the same damn Galaga/Dig Dug/Pac-man collection nine-hundred times. Of course, they really can be a treat. Despite all the load times and inaccessible unlockables, the Sonic Mega Collection is still a great way to play Sonic at his best. Occasionally, budget numbers like the Capcom Classics Mini Mix, a no-frills GBA collection with Bionic Commando NES, Strider NES, and Mighty Final Fight, can come along and introduce you to games you’ve never ever heard of. (Seriously, Mighty Final Fight? When did that happen? It’s got mini Haggar!) They are a more palatable alternative to Virtual Console-style downloads too, as far as price is concerned. Sega’s just-announced Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection for PS3 and Xbox 360 comes with forty games, and for thirty bucks you get what Nintendo would charge $120 for on Wii. Plus, they wouldn’t even all fit on the Wii’s memory! But again, the production values are highly questionable. Read More... Posted Nov 06 2008, 05:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, pac-man, street fighter, capcom, bionic commando, nes, sega, mega man, sonic the hedgehog, strider, mighty final fight, game boy advance, virtual console, dig dug, Capcom classics collection, Capcom mini mix, galaga

• Remembering Earthworm Jim

  Once again, the Wii's Virtual Console has yet another game worth playing--and remembering--with this Monday's release of Earthworm Jim. I'm a little bummed that Nintendo's Virtual Console Superlabs (AKA a dartboard) decided to release the Genesis version over the superior SNES one; there may be an extra level, but the lack of colors and a decent sound chip kinda poos all over what's supposed to be a high-fidelity 2D experience. And make no mistake; EWJ is still a pretty game--especially considering what developer Shiny put out when they moved to 3D graphics in the late 90s. But before their fall from grace, Shiny was pretty respected; and the first two Earthworm Jim games were the reasons why. The sense of humor the games carried--while nothing new to the PC gamer of the mid-90s--was certainly fresh, even if some of the gameplay wasn't. If you had played any other Dave Perry-developed game before Jim, like Cool Spot or the completely overrated Genesis version of Aladdin, you're bound to notice a few similarities. All of Perry's 2D games have this sort of Bubsy-esque floatyness to them, and an overall cheapness that's masked by the amount of animation given to all the sprites--which was quite amazing in a pre-Metal Slug world.  For all of the care put into the visuals, though, both Jim games suffer from being terribly unbalanced from stage to stage.  It wasn't until I got a level select code that I was actually able to enjoy either game. Read More... Posted Oct 28 2008, 01:30 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: wii, earthworm jim, bob mackey, virtual console, dave perry, shiny

• Secret of Mana is Bug-Tastic

  If you're like me, then you're probably playing Monday's Virtual Console release of Secret of Mana. The only excuse I'll accept is massive head trauma--and we're talking brains-leaking-from-a-gaping-wound trauma. That's the only way you can explain not playing Secret of Mana for the low, low price of eight bucks. Why, in 1993 I had to do some hardcore begging to get my parents to drop 60 dollars on this game, and that's back when American money had value! But I digress. After playing Secret of Mana, you've probably recognized two distinct facts: 1.) The game is awesome as hell, and 2.) It's also buggy as all get-out. I've never been privy to any real game-destroying antics, but the general weird glitchyness of Secret of Mana always made the game feel like its programming was held together by bubble gum and string. We can't exactly blame Square's Iranian super-programmer Nasir Gebelli, though; while originally designed to take advantage of the doomed SNES CD add-on (which eventually became the Playstation), Secret of Mana was hastily transformed into a regular-old SNES game once Nintendo washed their hands of CD-ROM technology. This change left some unfortunate problems in its wake. Read More... Posted Oct 15 2008, 08:30 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, rpg, square, bob mackey, virtual console, secret of mana, glitches

• Time For Terranigma! Right?

  Friends, join me in a round of "Let's Push Our Effin' Luck." The Virtual Console has done such a good job at not sucking for the past few weeks that it's only natural for me to raise my hopes and watch them get sheared. So, Nintendo. Square-Enix. Everyone. Time to stop starting and stopping like a nervous thoroughbred. It's time for commitment. It's time for Terranigma. When you were young, you probably played Soulblazer and/or Illusion of Gaia on the Super Nintendo. Both games provided Zelda-flavoured adventures that were nevertheless unique. Illusion of Gaia in particular still stands out in my mind for its mild hero, Will, a boy with telepathic powers who must jump-start Earth's stagnant evolution. Terranigma actually preceds Will's journey and Soulblazer story-wise, casting the player as Ark. Ark is cast out of his Eden-like villiage and tasked with beginning the very evolution that Will is later called upon to re-direct. Terranigma plays similarly to Illusion of Gaia, but it might seem unfamiliar because it never made it to North America. It did, however, see a release in Europe. So there's the beauty part: Terranigma already has an English translation waiting patiently for us. Read More... Posted Oct 14 2008, 06:54 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: square-enix, retro, super nintendo, 16-bit, nadia oxford, virtual console, terranigma, illusion of gaia, soulblazer

• Virtual Console: Now the Best Thing Ever

  Remember back when the Virtual Console sucked? Of course you do; it was just this past summer. During those hot, boring months, I sat on about 2000 Wii Points; hope soon became a forgotten concept as Nintendo slowly trickled out games I've never given a damn about. By the time August rolled around, I was half-expecting to see a Virtual Console Monday featuring the Sega Genesis version of Chuck Rock along with a free Wii screen saver that would scroll the words "KILL YOURSELF" across the screen if you left the Wii-mote idle for more than 20 minutes. But since the beginning of Fall, Nintendo's really gotten their Virtual Console shit together; and today's release of both Secret of Mana and World of Goo is proof of that. Sure, I'm in the dead center of a semester that's left me so haggard I can barely type this post without using my keyboard as a makeshift pillow, but... Secret of Mana. Read More... Posted Oct 13 2008, 08:45 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: wii, world of goo, square, bob mackey, virtual console, secret of mana

• Reminder: Shining Force is Awesome

  It may be relatively unknown, but Sega's Shining series has been pretty prolific since its 1991 debut; the little research I've done tells me that there have been 16 games in the franchise--though it's important to note that anything Shining started to suck around 1997 or so.  The loss of developer Camelot Software Planning, combined with Sega's general financial failure, caused the Shining name to be repeatedly exploited in games that had absolutely nothing to do with the series' S-RPG roots.  To be fair, Camelot didn't always have the Midas touch when it came to the Shining series--see aberrations like Shining Wisdom--but Sega and its development teams seem committed to slapping the Shining name on everything but strategy RPGs.  And that's a damn shame. Now that Camelot has been exclusively pumping out Nintendo sports games, all we are left with are memories, and the weeks Nintendo decides to release good things on Virtual Console Mondays.  This happens to be one of those weeks, what with Shining Force II hitting the Virtual Console today.  Now we can rest assured that our memories haven't lied to us; Shining Force is awesome!  Now let's just be glad that Camelot decided to let the interminable Golden Sun series die, lest their reputation be damaged. Read More... Posted Oct 06 2008, 09:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, sega, bob mackey, virtual console, shining force

• What I'm Playing This Weekend: Super Mario Bros 3

  And I mean the original Super Mario Bros 3, babes. Well, as "original" as a Virtual Console title gets. I doubt I'll be playing for long. My husband and I have been going through the game level by level--no warping, of course--in a two-player game and making stupid remarks and now we're in Bowser's domain. Most of the stupid remarks are mine and go back to the days when I used to play with my brothers. My husband was a single child and I think he missed out on a special kind of chemistry that only two genetically-similar kids can provide when they're plopped in front of the television. For instance, every single time I go into a Toad House while donning a raccoon tail, I select a box by pressing A and B together. If I'm lucky, Mario's gorgeous butt will face us and I can say, "Ha ha, he's peeing!" It never gets old. At least I don't think so. Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 09:58 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, super mario bros 3, mario, super mario advance 4, nostalgia, virtual console, 8-bit nadia oxford, super mario all stars

• Ten Reasons Why Secret of Mana Sucks

  Caution: Humor and Satire Within. I want to make two things abundantly clear. I love Super Nintendo-era Squaresoft. I love those games with a ferocious passion that transcends nostalgia. I am not being cute or silly when I say that Chrono Trigger changed my life. It did. Had I not played that game for the first time in December of 1996, I would have never kept writing, would have never been listening to the soundtrack which led to my getting up the courage to making a move on my first serious girlfriend, and a number of other causal ripples coming out of that formative experience. I also want to make it abundantly clear that I have very little time for baseless hating on anything, whether it be a human being, a flavor of lollipop, a book, or videogame. That said, Secret of Mana sucks and I hate it. I have tried. Lord knows I have tried to play, to beat, and to love that game. I have tried so damn hard. But the truth is inescapable. It sucks and it will always suck. Here’s why! Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 02:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, top ten, chrono trigger, square-enix, virtual console, secret of mana

• Flying Gay Men Invade Virtual Console!

  The Cho Aniki series of aggressively-gay horizontal shooters has always been easy joke fodder; for about three or four years in a row, a Cho Aniki screenshot/caption tag-team appeared in nearly every issue of EGM. Through the march of time, Boong-Ga Boong-Ga has since replaced Cho Aniki in the "Oh, those wacky foreigners" category, but we've never been graced with an American release of any Cho Aniki game...until today. The VC still lack Earthbound, Majora's Mask, and Yoshi's Island, but today Nintendo decided to rectify the dearth of TG-16 shmups on their digital download service by releasing the first Cho Aniki game. I can't tell you if it's good or bad, but I can tell you that it's weird. Everything I know about the Japanese view of homosexuality is based on portrayals of gays in Japanese media, which boils down to the stereotype of male homosexuals being buff bodybuilders (with a surprising lack of mustache), and that the mere presense of gays is a joke in and of itself. A still image of Will and Grace would probably be considered the height of humor in Japan. Read More... Posted Sep 08 2008, 04:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, bob mackey, virtual console, homosexuality, shmups, cho aniki

• The Dividing RPG: Secret of Mana

  Squaresoft's Secret of Mana will be coming to Virtual Console this September, probably as Seiken Densetsu 2. It's probably a good thing Square-Enix didn't try to reshuffle the Mana titles when they came to America. Re-numbering Final Fantasy already requires more math than I want to do outside a school setting. (Yes, I was a dunce, and I still am according to expert testimony.) Secret of Mana's VC revival got people a-muttering on message boards and IRC. And I was shocked and appalled to learn that there are people out there who care not for Randi's pastel-coloured adventure to find a giant tree. They called it dated. They called it boring. They called it buggy, and "buggy" is actually being generous. By all programming logic, every copy of Secret of Mana should have imploded on the store shelves. I might be biased. Secret of Mana was my first RPG outside of the Dragon Warrior/DragonQuest series, so it wasn't too hard for me to be blown away by the harrowing story of an orphan who was fathered by a sword. Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 04:00 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: snes, rpg, japan, square-enix, 16-bit, nostalgia, nadia oxford, virtual console, computer ai, seiken densetsu 3, seiken densetsu 2, secret of mana

• Sweet Sassy Molassey! Super Mario RPG on the Virtual Console

  It always sucks to hear what other countries are getting in their respective digital download marketplaces, because America tends to get the shaft. A typical scenario: "Hey, look: the Japanese Playstation Store got Metal Gear Solid and Einhander! What's new for the US this week? Blasto." *sound of gun being cocked* But someone, somewhere, must have taken pity on the puny American dollar, because Super Mario RPG--a game that was released elsewhere earlier in the summer--is now available for download on the Wii's Virtual Console. This is big news, because A.) Super Mario RPG is the most "important" game to come out for the VC since god knows when, and B.) hells yes it is worth buying. Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 03:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: wii, square, bob mackey, virtual console, super mario, super mario rpg

• I Wish I Had Bought Tetrisphere.

  Tetris, who isn't familiar with Tetris? I owned the original Game Boy once upon a time so naturally I had the game that started the craze. But I have a secret to share. I wasn't really a fan. It was okay, but I seemed utterly immune to its spell. Really, I'm not much of a puzzle game fan. Oh sure, I like puzzles that are worked into other games, like platforming games or adventures and such, but pure puzzle games have never attracted me that much. But I really do wish I'd bought Tetrisphere. Read More... Posted Aug 29 2008, 11:00 AM by Amber Ahlborn with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, amber ahlborn, n64, tetris, game boy advance, virtual console, retro game, tetrisphere

• Ys and You

  Monday saw the release of Ys Book I & II for the Wii's Virtual Console, making it the first time since mid-May I was remotely interested in anything on the service.  Standard VC bitchery: Nintendo, I am willing to buy digital versions of games I already own.  The save battery on my Earthbound cart still worked in 2005, but in the horrible year of 2008, who knows? If you weren't too aware of gaming in the early 90s, Ys Book I & II was basically the Halo of the ill-fated TurboGrafx-CD--not in how it was treasured by millions of gamers, but by what a showpiece it was for the hardware.  In 1990, CD-ROM technology was still astoundingly new, and NEC knew it could impress the pants off of prospective console buyers; hence, the showing of promotional videos featuring footage of Ys in gaming stores across the country (and I should know, because for some reason NEC also sent a handful of copies to my house). Read More... Posted Aug 26 2008, 12:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, rpg, bob mackey, ys, virtual console