Again, sometimes the more direct simple answer is the TRUTHIEST... Hence my latest batch of TRANSLATIONS of some selected Dating Confessions...
"I hope it lasts forever"
TRANSLATION: Aww.. that's a nice sentiment.. Still you must remember, if it lasts more than 4 hours, or if your vision gets blurry, you should report to a physician immediately!
"I'm in love with you, and I know you'd join me in a second. But I'm married and to take you in my arms means you won't find someone to be with forever. And that's what you want, and deserve. So go, sweetie. Go."
TRANSLATION: …Pheww!! Barely got out of that one! With this economy, I’m in no position to pay a divorce lawyer, or alimony!,,,
"I have a serious electra complex."
TRANSLATION: I just banged my daddy!!
"I think you're really cute but have no idea how to approach this. Where has my confidence gone? I'm a good looking lady and you're a big old nerd. Why is this so intimidating?"
TRANSLATION: Well, here’s a start.. stop referring to yourself as a ‘good looking lady’ and to him as a ‘big old nerd’ some might take this the wrong way…
"Ladies, I grew up adoring you and envisioning building a life with one of you. Thank you for showing me the foolishness of my ways."
TRANSLATION: Dirk McNally’s response to getting served with a restraining order by the Go-Gos…
"The way I see it, when he's finished with his obligations, has the time and still feels like he wants to see me, he'll contact me. I hope he does."
TRANSLATION: Call me any time Barack Obama!
"I want to have an intimate sexual relationship with you (when and if you're ready)."
TRANSLATION: How therapists say they ‘wanna fuck!’
"you are the best daddy a girl could hope for. i know things have been tense lately but it'll cool down. i DO need you. I am your girl forever."
TRANSLATION: Mommy will eventually get over finding us 69ing in your bedroom!
"Women are whores. Nothing more, nothing less. They kill your soul and suck the life out of you."
TRANSLATION: What's written on August Strindberg's headstone...
"I still use all the phrases you used, sing the songs you sung, and often, feel you in the wind. That your gone hurts, but it hurts more that the one who loves me now is not you. I miss you, and I will never be complete again."
TRANSLATION: The sentiments of every one of my ex- girlfriends!!... SUCKAS!!!
Tocarra from America's Next Top Model..
Blogger doodles 2
My most cringeworthy moments with women
Are you a sociopath part 2
Are you a sociopath part 1
translations...
blogger doodles
The worst sex of my life
The sex and the city movie was lame
commitment phobia is a myth
Translations...
TYPES
Do.. do women really suck in bed?
The odd disconnect between profile photos and reality
50 sexual expereiences I've never had
Dating COnfessions translations
I'm a breast man... the JUGS file
John McCain makes my peepee go limp
Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.
My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS
My internet dating advice
What we want vs. What we need and the power balance between man and women
All Porn SUCKS!!
The night PAULINA and I discussed sex
How important are someone's politics when choosing a patrner?
Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!
Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file
The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file
'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file
BITE ME! - Snark.
My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past
Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file
Talk dirty to me!!
I abstain! The fear to fuck
The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.
BITE ME!!!
Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file
The brass ring