Happy Monday... more dating confession's TRANSLATIONS..
"i always drive myself completely nuts wondering if the guys i'm dating really like me. it's really draining."
TRANSLATION: So what you're saying is that ... It’s draining you're nuts?
"When you have a giant tattoo of a highland cow on your back, I think you may be obligated to disclose that before the point of no return. Had I but known."
TRANSLATION: Awww.. Highland cows are cute!... Could have been a lot worse, could’ve been a jersey cow, they’re total assholes.
highland
jersey
"Most people on here sound like they have a lot of sex. I always wonder: how do you do that? Yes, I'm naive; make fun of me. But really: how do you do it?"
TRANSLATION: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDoQFcQEpOQ
"My exhusband was an emotionally abusive lying cheater who made me miserable almost everyday. Why do I miss him so much?"
TRANSLATION: Hmm… could be his colossal comic book collection, his penchant for unique footwear… I suppose it could have been his trust-fund or his ten inch cock.
"Just find me, already"
TRANSLATION: Waldo, quit your pathetic whining…
"Everyone thinks I'm fine. I thought I was fine until I realised how much of my hair I've pulled out."
TRANSLATION: Maybe your hair’s too fine!
"You never tried to have a relationship with me...just sex. You know it and so do I. First, the song and dance about how you're divorcing. Then, after months of hot sex, you left me to move back in with your wife. I respected the decision and left you alone. And when you came back to me, I thought it was because you wanted ME. To be with ME. But you'd disappear for months at a time with no phone call, nothing. So my hackles came up and I started holding myself back from you until you disappeared again. When you came back, I took what little you offered until I couldn't take it anymore and left you. Only it didn't last because of my deep feelings. For the next couple of years, we went back and forth. You pushing me away, you disappearing for stretches, and me leaving you only to return. Now, you're with someone else, lying and cheating. Yet I'M the one with issues? When I tell you how I will not be your piece on side, that I want to be your everything, you claim I put you down and make you feel like shit. Or you post our conversations, my intimate fears, on this site. Well, I get it. You're too much of a coward to tell me face to face that you don't want to talk to me. As manly as you are, you're still a little boy who refuses to be honest. You want to say I'm the one with issues? You want to say I need to get my insecurities together? Fine. Whatever makes you feel better. But I know the truth. And whether you'll admit it, you do too. Our problem was YOU, not me."
TRANSLATION: …and?
"All you need to do is start coming home earlier. That's all. You'll be surprised how much better we'll get along if you stop staying at the office late and going out drinking with your coworkers, and instead actually spend some time with me."
TRANSLATION: Uh… someone’s living in a delusional state…The whole reason WHY he’s staying at the office late and going out drinking with his co-workers is to AVOID spending time with you!!
"In my last kinky dream, a shirtless man threw me on the stairs and fucked me while he cut my face with a knife. I liked it so much I'm terrified I'll meet the man in person and I'll let him do it"
TRANSLATION:
"im about 90% certain you're cheating on me."
TRANSLATION: 90% is a high percentage… so remember people… McCain has voted with George Bush 90% of the time… ahem…rock the vote...8 days and counting!
jessica biel... actress
blogger doodles 3
the gardener and the rose
We fart therefore we are
TRANSLATIONS
Blogger doodles 2
My most cringeworthy moments with women
Are you a sociopath part 2
Are you a sociopath part 1
translations...
blogger doodles
The worst sex of my life
The sex and the city movie was lame
commitment phobia is a myth
Translations...
TYPES
Do.. do women really suck in bed?
The odd disconnect between profile photos and reality
50 sexual expereiences I've never had
Dating COnfessions translations
I'm a breast man... the JUGS file
John McCain makes my peepee go limp
Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.
My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS
My internet dating advice
What we want vs. What we need and the power balance between man and women
All Porn SUCKS!!
The night PAULINA and I discussed sex
How important are someone's politics when choosing a patrner?
Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!
Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file
The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file
'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file
BITE ME! - Snark.
My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past
Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file
Talk dirty to me!!
I abstain! The fear to fuck
The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.
BITE ME!!!
Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file
The brass ring