Before I became engaged in my current relationship, I was pretty much a leaf blowin’ cross autumn skies. I’d find myself interacting with many different women at the same time - a lot of them exclusively online. Occasionally I’d actually meet one or two of these women in person, but invariably the reality never measured up.
Cultivating an ‘online’ relationship comparitive to a 'real' one is pretty easy. It seems many people out there are bored and in need of some recreational stimulation. It’s quite simple really… The internet is rife with electric possibility… Messageboards, online personals, CNN feedback, the National Rifle Association fan website… willing participants lurk everywhere. Usually how it goes is, one establishes contact, some preliminary photos are sent back and forth and presto – an online encounter begins.
Truth be told, I’m such a hopeless misanthrope, I actually would prefer these types of ‘relationships’ as opposed to the kind where I would actually have to go out and do stuff. Still, after awhile it does tend to get a bit depressing. Of course, so does everything in the end. Personally, my favorite part of the online encounter was getting a new friend to send me dirty photos of herself. I’m thinking about this today, as I’ve just read on Perez Hilton about some young Disney star that’s recently had dirty pictures of herself stolen and leaked online. I guess even Disney stars take nudie photos of themselves!... Personally, I’ve never taken one of myself in reciprocation. To me it’s not the same thing. Besides, women like taking photos of themselves, I think it turns a lot of them on. A nude shot of some guy holding his shlong, it’s not the same deal…
Anyway… after a few photo exchanges, another level of contact would either be established or rejected. Most women like to talk on the phone, so phone sex was always a suggestion I’d hear. As I hate the phone, it would be around this time that most of these online encounters would fade into the ether.
I wonder sometimes, do any of these women have even the faintest glimmer of a remembrance of these interactions with me? I never think about them myself for the sole reason that most of these ‘relationships’ took place during very dark and dismal times in my life. If I were ever to stop and think about all the dingy, grimy goings on I've been involved with in my life, I’d probably start to get a little nauseous.
Interestingly though, a lot of the reason I had these online flings was fear of disease.
I figured, ‘hey.. I’m human, I need sexual release!! But I’m not going throw my cock up on the crap table… how can I get off without my dick FALLING off?’
Thus, these grim and brief encounters were born..
I dunno… in the grand scheme of all things, were these online relationships any less valid than many of the so-called ‘real’ relationships I’ve had? I mean, they all wind up the same anyway don't thet? In fact, at least at the end of one of my internet adventures, I’d have a photo or two to show for it…
Adrienne Bailon - disney star
translations
Blogger doodles
Is there an expiration date on passion?
translations
bloggerdoodles
crazy pants
used to be cool - zeitgeisty on MTV
hurting for a squirting - the female ejaculation file
translations...
blogger doodles 3
the gardener and the rose
We fart therefore we are
TRANSLATIONS
Blogger doodles 2
My most cringeworthy moments with women
Are you a sociopath part 2
Are you a sociopath part 1
translations...
blogger doodles
The worst sex of my life
The sex and the city movie was lame
commitment phobia is a myth
Translations...
TYPES
Do.. do women really suck in bed?
The odd disconnect between profile photos and reality
50 sexual expereiences I've never had
Dating COnfessions translations
I'm a breast man... the JUGS file
John McCain makes my peepee go limp
Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.
My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS
My internet dating advice
What we want vs. What we need and the power balance between man and women
All Porn SUCKS!!
The night PAULINA and I discussed sex
How important are someone's politics when choosing a patrner?
Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!
Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file
The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file
'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file
BITE ME! - Snark.
My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past
Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file
Talk dirty to me!!
I abstain! The fear to fuck
The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.
BITE ME!!!
Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file
The brass ring