I enjoy licking some ass.
Whenever I have occasion to go down on a snatch, I always attend to the ole' chocolate starfish as well. Some people find this revolting, yet I feel it’s terribly unfair to the poor little pursed mouthed poop shoot to just completely ignore it. I mean I figure If I’m gonna take the time to visit downtown, I might as well pop over to the smelly neighbor next door to exchange a few pleasantries.
The detractors might state that it’s unsanitary, that you could possibly pick up some strange hoof and mouth like disease, where your lips shrivel up and turn brown, but I just say they’re all playa haters. I’ve never had a problem down there, save for this one time where I did find a trace of something that resembled a kernel of corn. Still, ONE kernel of corn could never dissuade my lustful thirst for ass.
I’m sure psychologically my ass fixation must typify me in some way. Perhaps I’m an anal expulsive – someone fixated in the anal stage of psycho-sexual development. You see, an anal expulsive personality is broadly defined as exhibiting cruelty, emotional outbursts, disorganization, self-confidence, liberal-mindedness, (sometimes) artistic ability, generosity, rebelliousness and general carelessness.
This description pretty much sums me up PERFECTLY.
To think that my entire personality stems from a conflict with my parents during toilet training is truly amazing. It is very true however, that I had an extremely difficult time with the whole ‘wiping my own ass’ thing. I think I was like 7 or 8 years old before I got the hang of it. I remember I would have to call my parents whenever I was done taking a dump….
‘MAMA… BABA (that’s what I call my father) … I’m FINIIISSSSHHHEEED!!!!!!’
Sometimes if company was over, I’d have to stay in the bathroom for hours waiting to hear my mother pass by the bathroom door to catch her attention, so she could come in and wipe my ass. It was very stressful.
I can remember clear as day the first time I cleaned my own asshole. It was in elementary school, and I desperately needed to take a dump. I think I had the ‘chuckwagon’ at lunch, which was bologna and cheese heated on a bun, and it disagreed with me. Anyway, there I was STUCK. There was no way I was going to ask the teacher to wipe my ass, I mean, I was almost old enough to get a driver’s license for godsakes! So I sat there for a few minutes… then I looked at the toilet roll hanging on the wall, then I looked down at my turd floating happily in the murky yellow toilet water, then I looked at the roll again.. and suddenly it was like that scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey when the apes learn how to kill from the Monolith. I swear I could hear the stirring melody of ‘Thus Spake Zarathustra’ resounding in my head. I reached for the paper and took care of business – if a bit clumsily. No matter, my ass was more or less clean.
Could all of this sturm and drang really have influenced me sexually? It does kind of make sense.
Some women have asked me what it is exactly that turns me on about anal, licking ass, and all that ass-related play, and I could never really give any kind of an answer that could satisfy them suitably. It’s just something about the illicit nature of it all - that it’s something you’re not supposed to do. It’s especially a turn on if the woman is really INTO it as well - the fact that SHE’S turned on by this naughtiness is a mouthwatering rush.
In the end, we all view sex through our own individual little chunks of coke bottle and mine just happens to be tinted in brown.
I can deal with that.
M.I.A
My myspace - - https://www.myspace.com/10separatecatch22s
My Facebook - Zeit Geisty
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632432989&ref=name
Snarky and assinine responses
Blogger doodles
The Origins of my cold, black heart
relationship dealbreakers
The different kinds of vaginas
bloggerdoodles
Snarky dating confessions responses
Blogger doodles
I wanna bang your friend
Show me your jugs
translations
Blogger doodles
Is there an expiration date on passion?
translations
bloggerdoodles
crazy pants
used to be cool - zeitgeisty on MTV
hurting for a squirting - the female ejaculation file
translations...
blogger doodles 3
the gardener and the rose
We fart therefore we are
TRANSLATIONS
Blogger doodles 2
My most cringeworthy moments with women
Are you a sociopath part 2
Are you a sociopath part 1
translations...
blogger doodles
The worst sex of my life
The sex and the city movie was lame
commitment phobia is a myth
Translations...
TYPES
Do.. do women really suck in bed?
The odd disconnect between profile photos and reality
50 sexual expereiences I've never had
Dating COnfessions translations
I'm a breast man... the JUGS file
John McCain makes my peepee go limp
Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.
My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS
My internet dating advice
What we want vs. What we need and the power balance between man and women
All Porn SUCKS!!
The night PAULINA and I discussed sex
How important are someone's politics when choosing a patrner?
Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!
Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file
The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file
'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file
BITE ME! - Snark.
My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past
Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file
Talk dirty to me!!
I abstain! The fear to fuck
The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.
BITE ME!!!
Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file
The brass ring