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Date Confessions: Even more SNARKY and ASSININE responses to Hooksexup Dating Confessions... plus throbbage

Posted by zeitgeisty

Happy Monday everyone...



 


"Can we just fuck already?"

I believe this was Bill Clinton’s original campaign slogan.

"Jesus christ. Could you at least get mad once in a while? Like a normal human?"

He’s the son of GOD for crying eye!!... He’s not a ‘normal human’. He turns the other ass cheek don’tcha know! 

"I'm totally in love with my new accelerator mass spectrometer!" 

The nerd version of a power drill.

"If I see a girl's room for the first time and there isn't a single memorable, interesting, or scary (seriously) thing there, I find no reason to go back." 

What about if you see her seriously scary snatch in said room… would that prompt a return visit?

"I am a 22F and I've dated a few guys but I just find penises gross and have never touched one willingly. The thought of intercourse is nice, but the thought of touching one with my hand or mouth to try and pleasure a guy just does not turn me on AT ALL. Looking at women's torsoes doesn't get me going as much as looking at men's torsoes, but, I can easily imagine myself enjoying pleasuring a woman allover. I'm so confused about my sexuality. Do I sound gay to you?"

Perhaps you’re a Centaur trapped in a human’s body?

"I'm a guy dating a girl who just will not commit to going down on me...but at the same time she loves it when I venture below her belt. First time I've been with someone like this. What the fuck gives?"

Please see above… we  think she might be  a Centaur.

"you go limp when i try to suck your cock...wtf, i've done this for many a man and never had this happen, thanks for that ego blow!!"

Amboabe!!! You’re giving this poor girl a complex!!

"I would never, ever have sex with anyone who uses the word "cum."" 

How about Jizz-tastic love juice?

"There are few things more satisfying than sparking a tremendous debate on the Hooksexup Confessions chatroom."

Toluca, I’m gonna ask you ONE more time… please leave these poor confessors alone!!

"The ultimate form of sexual expression is someone you can massage for a couple of hours, tease for a quarter of an hour, have oral with with for a half hour (what is it with you people anyway about that?) and then fuck for as long as you can, long, slow, hard, fast, quick, deep, shallow, all that. That's love makin' the real deal yo."

Shit dawg, your kung-fu be weak.. you forgot the 13 minutes of tiddly winks, the 7 minutes of anal probing with 3 q-tips tied together with horsehair, 11 minutes of running around the apartment wearing nothing but a mask of Lee Iacocca and then of course the FACE FROSTING motha fucker… and by that I mean dumping a can of Duncan hines on your bitch’s face!  Now THAT’S the real deal playa!

 

 

 

jennifer lopez's ass..

My myspace  - - https://www.myspace.com/10separatecatch22s

My Facebook  - Zeit Geisty

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632432989&ref=name

 

blogger doodles

5 things I'm thankful for

licking ass and taking names

Snarky and assinine responses

Blogger doodles

The Origins of my cold, black heart

relationship dealbreakers

The different kinds of vaginas

bloggerdoodles

Snarky dating confessions responses

Blogger doodles

I wanna bang your friend

Show me your jugs

translations

Blogger doodles

Is there an expiration date on passion? 

translations 

bloggerdoodles 

 crazy pants

 used to be cool - zeitgeisty on MTV

hurting for a squirting - the female ejaculation file

 translations...

blogger doodles 3

the gardener and the rose

We fart therefore we are

TRANSLATIONS

 Blogger doodles 2

My most cringeworthy moments with women

Are you a sociopath part 2

Are you a sociopath part 1

translations...

 blogger doodles

The worst sex of my life

The sex and the city movie was lame

commitment phobia is a myth

Translations... 

TYPES

Do.. do women really suck in bed?

The odd disconnect between profile photos and reality

50 sexual expereiences I've never had

Dating COnfessions translations

 I'm a breast man... the JUGS file

John McCain makes my peepee go limp

Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.

My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS

My internet dating advice

What we want vs. What we need and the power balance between man and women

All Porn SUCKS!!

The night PAULINA and I discussed sex

How important are someone's politics when choosing a patrner?

 Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!

Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file

The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file

'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file

BITE ME! - Snark.

My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past

Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file

Talk dirty to me!!

I abstain! The fear to fuck

The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.

BITE ME!!!

Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file

The brass ring


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Toluca_86 said:

That picture looks airbrushed or like she's wearing some extra padding and sucking in her tummy.  (that's what they have most models do, you know?  stuffed bras and booty)  I know the lady's got back, but it isn't usually THAT prominent.

December 1, 2008 8:32 PM

amboabe said:

translation: maybe we should just be friends...

December 1, 2008 9:09 PM

airheadgenius said:

The real picture looks dead sexy - with her normal bubble butt instead of this inflated one. Methinks Zeit's been a photo shoppin

December 1, 2008 9:23 PM

Mahrya said:

Seriously, "someone you can massage for a couple of hours"? I would fall asleep if a guy massaged me for that long. And I would be thinking what the first confession said, "Can we just fuck already?"

December 2, 2008 12:28 AM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

OUR BLOGGERS

FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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