Cyber-sex… I’m a fan.
Let me get that right out into the open. I have no shame in admitting this to the world. After all, I like to write, and I enjoy a good wank, so it’s like two great tastes that taste great together. Cyber is the fucking Reeses peanut butter cup of sex!! Of course, sometimes you’re just not in the mood to get all verbose typing away to your fair cyber-maiden on the myriad of ways you can manipulate her clitoris to orgasm, but usually I find it highly enjoyable. I mean think of it, for me it’s pretty much a perfect past time.. I get to write, no bodily fluids are exchanged, and usually my orgasm is pretty explosive. Seriously ladies, when I’ve written something like..‘OOOHhhhHHHh.. CUMMMING!!! …I came like a firehose baby… thanks so much’, I’m totally being sincere! I’ve actually just come like a firehose.. You have my word. I wouldn’t lie!
Still, it’s no fun if the girl on the other end isn’t diddling along with you.
Some guys don’t care either way, they just wanna get off with some dirty talk – not me. I feel guilty if my partner isn’t satisfied, even if it’s cyber-satisfaction we’re talking about. A lot of women complain that it’s too hard to masturbate and IM at the same time. I say if I can do it YOU can do it. Often times they whine about not being able to juggle the appropriate dildoes and type with the other hand, or that they don’t have a laptop, etc… I can sympathize with circumstance, and in these cases maybe cyber-sex is not the proper course of action… Perhaps smoke signals?? That’s what the Indians used to do in the old days!
Then again, sometimes a woman would rather do the whole ‘phone sex’ deal.
I’m still on the fence as far as that’s concerned. I’ve mentioned before, that I absolutely HATE talking on the phone, so right off the bat I’m not in my comfort zone. In fact, I think out of all human interactions, phone-sex is probably the one I’m clumsiest at. I never really know what to say, I hem and haw, I sort of hate the sound of my voice, it just feels AWKWARD… That’s not to say I haven’t done it. I think I really enjoyed it like ONE time in my life – I liked the sound of her voice…
Sometimes, if a woman is really colossal she’ll send you pictures! I love when that happens, it’s a true delight. You know what? It’s hard to believe, but I’ve never gotten a picture I didn’t like!.. I’m the Will Rogers of dirty photos. To me it really adds to the proceedings, having the photo open while I’m cybering around with a good lady-chick to me is a grand experience. One should not belittle it as mere ‘jerking off’.. No, here are two people involved together, mutually masturbating, it’s a true interaction – it’s teamwork for godsakes – IT’S THE AMERICAN WAY!!. Hell, I’ve had cyber-sessions that were better than actual sex, fuck I’ll admit it freely to anyone who’ll listen! Still, even I have my limits…
I’ll never do web-cam.
First off, I don’t even have a web-cam, and if I did, I wouldn’t even know how to use it – and I work on a website!!! It just seems…well.. like it would be twice as awkward as phone sex with the added insecurity about how you look! What if the entire time you’re jerking off you’ve got a booger in your nose, or worse yet in your moustache? What if the face you make during orgasm makes you look like you’re taking a shit? What if the lighting’s bad?? I’m NOT ready for my close-up mr. Demille!!!!
Sorry.. I like the gestalt of straight cyber-sex.
It’s almost literary, a tad austere, clean… I never feel dirty after cyber-sex, or nauseous. I have great affection for those kind ladies that partake in the act with me. In fact, over the years I’ve had a few very close cyber-relationships with some very lovely gals. A couple of times, I’ve even considered the idea of cyber-marriage, or at least cyber-moving in together, but with that comes the fear that the cyber-sex would become monotonous and stale, so I cyber-dump them before I get too cyber-committed…
I guess what I’m trying to convey here is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this absolutely lovely activity. No one gets hurt, writing skills are improved, and hopefully orgasms are achieved. Plus, there’s none of that pesky cuddling or doing the walk of shame home at 3 in the morning. You just get to nod off to sleep to pleasant dreams, slightly stickier, but no worse for wear.
In the immortal words of Louis B Mayer, inventor of the symbol for infinity..
‘some day the human race will learn to eschew the flesh and delve into the mind with a penetrative eroticism heretofore unexperienced, and yay and yon, it shall be called CYBER and it shall be good!’..
Of course Louis isn’t altogether ‘right in the head’, he’s the bag boy at the Food Emporium up the street from my apartment, and I seriously doubt HE’S the one that came up with the infinity symbol, no matter what he says..
gloria grahame...
My myspace - - https://www.myspace.com/10separatecatch22s
My Facebook - Zeit Geisty
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632432989&ref=name
the importance of finding true sexual compatibility
Will you just take my penis in your hand already?
Snark and ass
blogger doodles
5 things I'm thankful for
licking ass and taking names
Snarky and assinine responses
Blogger doodles
The Origins of my cold, black heart
relationship dealbreakers
The different kinds of vaginas
bloggerdoodles
Snarky dating confessions responses
Blogger doodles
I wanna bang your friend
Show me your jugs
translations
Blogger doodles
Is there an expiration date on passion?
translations
bloggerdoodles
crazy pants
used to be cool - zeitgeisty on MTV
hurting for a squirting - the female ejaculation file
translations...
blogger doodles 3
the gardener and the rose
We fart therefore we are
TRANSLATIONS
Blogger doodles 2
My most cringeworthy moments with women
Are you a sociopath part 2
Are you a sociopath part 1
translations...
blogger doodles
The worst sex of my life
The sex and the city movie was lame
commitment phobia is a myth
Translations...
TYPES
Do.. do women really suck in bed?
The odd disconnect between profile photos and reality
50 sexual expereiences I've never had
Dating COnfessions translations
I'm a breast man... the JUGS file
John McCain makes my peepee go limp
Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.
My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS
My internet dating advice
What we want vs. What we need and the power balance between man and women
All Porn SUCKS!!
The night PAULINA and I discussed sex
How important are someone's politics when choosing a patrner?
Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!
Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file
The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file
'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file
BITE ME! - Snark.
My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past
Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file
Talk dirty to me!!
I abstain! The fear to fuck
The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.
BITE ME!!!
Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file
The brass ring