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Sex Machine: more WOULDJARATHER.. SEXUAL choices for the PERVERTED!!.. plus the throb

Posted by zeitgeisty

As you may know by now, I like to come up with "interesting" sexual scenarios, and decide which ones I'd rather take part in if I was FORCED to...  So I put it to you good people in a tasteful piece I like to call.. WOULDJARATHER!!



 

Wouldjarather lick mayonnaise from in between Louie Anderson’s rolls of fat...


 



 

...or get an enema from Howie Mandel?


 

 

 

Wouldjarather ride reverse cowgirl on the frozen cock of Walt Disney (headless and cryogenically frozen)...


 



 

 ...or get anally raped by Mr. T?


 

 

 

Wouldjarather get a blumpkin by the Mom (Amy Roloff) on ‘Little people Big World’...


 



 

...or shave Camille Paglia’s graying pubic hair?


 

 

 

Wouldjarather have Helen Gurley Brown lick honey out of your asshole...


 



 

...or have Nancy Reagan slap you in the face with her flapping labia majora?


 

 

 

Wouldjarather swim open mouthed across a raging river of diarrhea...


 



 

...or fuck Paris Hilton without a condom while she’s on the rag, and you’ve got a gash on your penis?

 

 

Wouldjarather finger- bang your sister...


 



 

...or have a jolly rancher wedged sideways up your ass for 6 years?


 

 

 

Wouldjarather slurp ketchup off of Ronald McDonald’s Big Mac...


 



 

...or get stuffed with the Burger King’s Whopper?


 

 

 

Wouldjarather pop the zits and eat the pus out of Danny Bonaduce’s roid raged back...


 



 

...or have Jose Canseco take a dump on your left thigh?

 


 

 

Wouldjarather have an angry 3-way with Kevin James and James Belushi...


 



 

...or make gentle love with Wayne Newton?
 

 

Wouldjarather get a handjob from Freddy Kreuger...


 



 

...or tongue kiss Pinhead?


 



 

 

maria bartiromo

Walrus Comix

My other blog - Zeitgeisty : Born To Lose * new post up daily

My myspace  - - https://www.myspace.com/10separatecatch22s

My Facebook  - Zeit Geisty

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632432989&ref=name

 

junk in 'da trunk : the ASS file

Fun with dating confessions

Stay away from my nipples!

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didjaever?

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new years resolutions

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licking ass and taking names

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The different kinds of vaginas

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I wanna bang your friend

Show me your jugs

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translations 

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hurting for a squirting - the female ejaculation file

 translations...

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TRANSLATIONS

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Are you a sociopath part 1

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The sex and the city movie was lame

commitment phobia is a myth

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TYPES

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50 sexual expereiences I've never had

Dating COnfessions translations

 I'm a breast man... the JUGS file

John McCain makes my peepee go limp

Video blog - 'The word on the steet' - the nature of attraction.

My dating confessions TRANSLATIONS

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The night PAULINA and I discussed sex

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 Hooksexup Confessions: It's all about the looks stupid!

Sex with someone I love - The MASTURBATION file

The Greatest Online Dating story - The PERSONALS file

'But baby I HAVE to put a profile up, it's required!!' - The GIRLFRIEND file

BITE ME! - Snark.

My first kiss...a remembrance of thing past

Feel the paste in you face - The FACIAL file

Talk dirty to me!!

I abstain! The fear to fuck

The unvarnished TRUTH about dating on the internet.

BITE ME!!!

Pontifications on the bangin' of ass - The ANAL file

The brass ring


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

amboabe said:

That photo of Helen Gurley Brown is giving me quite a raging stiffie.

January 14, 2009 3:51 PM

zeitgeisty said:

That's my AMBOABE!!!!...

January 14, 2009 3:52 PM

amboabe said:

amboabe: Send me your money.

January 14, 2009 4:07 PM

layalally said:

I really wish I hadn't read this...

-LydiaSarah

January 14, 2009 7:41 PM

dvaleriey said:

I played a schoolyard version of this called "No Suicide" (once committing to play, you could not opt to kill yourself rather than choose).  I honed a talent for debate convincing others why my choice was correct.

    Sample:  You must be molested by Conrad Bain from Diff'rent Strokes or Gordon Jump from WKRP.  Whom do you choose?  (The trick was that Gordon Jump played a child predator on Diff'rent Strokes so one needed to determine whether this made him sensitive to the subject or desirous to make a public confession).  

    I recall complicity being a major factor.  Danny Bonaduce's back involves so much vile effort soiling you in a darker way than if you are sitting innocently on a park bench and suddenly Jose Conseco craps your thigh.  

January 14, 2009 10:45 PM

zeitgeisty said:

Pure genius... again D-Val you should be blogging...

January 15, 2009 1:32 AM

deliciouslyso said:

This was really funny and creative. Quite impressed with your range of people and offenses! Brilliant. The funny thing is, the crap on the thigh- in comparison, really is pretty much the least bad thing on here...

January 15, 2009 9:56 PM

tearsofacid said:

i haven't heard the word "blumpkin" used since undergrad

January 16, 2009 2:14 AM

zeitgeisty said:

Deliciouslyso - Hold on a minute, let me bask in the glory of this moment... the FIRST unadulterated, non-backhanded, bonafide compliment I've ever received here... thank you delicouslyso... thank you!

January 16, 2009 10:52 AM

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DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

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Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

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I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure.

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